A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

[IknowIch]

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

Aha thanks @brownteddybear. I do actually have a music stand in my house .... LOL. Look out for it carefully suspended behind me when we have our next meeting

[quote Stovetopespresso]@Confusedandshaken totally agree.

i think op was talking about senior roles. does that make a difference though...

i have felt quite sorry for some senior managers whose rooms look really unloved and tatty, hooefully not snooping just when they say how uncomfortable or cold they are etc. its like they just live for their jobs and work all the hours possible.

but maybe that's their choice or there's a whole lot of things going on that's none of my businness[/quote]
I’m a senior manager and work from the dining room, as DH works from the office (has to take far more sensitive calls than I do). It probably looks tatty/messy/uncomfortable as we’re both working full time and home schooling two young primary aged children while looking after a toddler so I haven’t got much time to make it look tidy and cosy 🤷🏻‍♀️.

On first lockdown I worked from home but soon learnt to change backdrop to save moving washing waiting to be ironed etc
As weather improved most of my zoom calls were done from the garden as DS and I were sharing office space
Went back to office in August so now just a plain wall behind me

Being prepared for meetings is an entirely different thing to having a dedicated space.

Someone can live in a bedsit and be far more prepared for a meeting and competent and professional. Having the luxury of space and dedicated work rooms doesn’t make you automatically better at your job.

This is why I am thankful for zoom backgrounds.
Too many books - you are showing off
Too little books - uncultured
Bright coloured wall - omg too much
Safe clour - so plain, aren't ya
And so on.🙄

YABU what happens if you have a partner also working from home as well as children being home schooled.
We have just had three weeks at home due to covid and have had to work in my bedroom due to my 3 year old and 6 year old running around bored senseless. Working shifts with my DH.
It's been enough just to get on a call let alone being judged from where you're working from.

[quote IknowIch]**@Seychelles98* and @NotAnotherUserNumber*

What I meant was more home office or dedicated space (neat and at least pretend to be ready for work even on Zoom/Teams) not necessarily books on display.

I judge unprepared or appearing "ambushed" colleagues during meetings. We all have children, cleaning, etc, but at least pretend to be ready for work.

On the décor, I was more taken aback by one colleague, who had a light pink paint - it looked frilly/fluffy. These were all said between two close friends, I would not have nor even ask people about their preferences - even if I silently judge.[/quote]
You sound very self important.

You can judge all you like but do you honestly think they give a toss about your verdict? 🤷‍♀️

Actually you probably do...

You're what blurred backgrounds are for.

My computer faces tidy bookshelves and the camera doesn't show the cat litter tray, battered wallpaper, frayed carpet, shopping trolley, storage boxes and other assorted tat that share my dedicated workspace. At least at home it's all clean. At work my office carpet got vacuumed once in 5 years and it never ever got dusted.

It's human nature to notice. It's very stupid to say anything.

Do you concentrate on the meetings themselves OP or, are you trying to get information on which you can judge your friends/colleagues?

You have name-changed. Why? Do you not want anybody to know that actually, you're not as nice as you purport to be?

Oh, I'm glad pink is trendy, I am waiting for grey to go out of fashion before redecorating,

ffs you do know not everyone can have an office or work room they usuallt go into an office but you know apprently theres a pandemic

A colleague of mine is currently Zooming from a barn in France where she is stuck.

I Zoom from a smart home office so in theory you’d be impressed, but you can’t really see much but a wall with a painting of Paris.

Snap judgements like that are shallow & lazy. You can't judge a book by it's cover. People are multi fàceted & complex. There is more to someone than their decor.

@AmaryllisNightAndDay

Oh, I'm glad pink is trendy, I am waiting for grey to go out of fashion before redecorating,

Why would you wait? Grey is already over.

@TinyCake

Unless its a cat or a dog. Then I go ooooh

Same here.

The only thing I might possibly be judgemental about is someone having their knickers on a radiator behind them

I have definitely never ever done this myself, Oh no

I did a Board Meeting in bed the other day. I'm pretty senior, but I knew it was going to be long and I wanted to be comfortable. Plus I was freezing and just wanted to get under my duvet. I positioned the laptop so that you could see the wall and picture behind my head. I don't think anyone noticed!!

I think most of us make judgements but keep them to ourselves. It's nice to see some people are human and have a life outside work. I like gaining more insight into people's interests. One person has a beautiful conservatory and loves plants, another is hugely into cooking and has meetings from her kitchen. One very controlling colleague lives in chaos. I have a v pillow and bed table and have had a few meetings sat on my bed with headboard and lopsided Art print as background.

I have really enjoyed seeing peoples’ backgrounds on Zoom calls. And I have found a chair to do mine in which has a plain magnolia wall behind it 🤣

You’d be doubly unfriended now, my kitchen is light pink admittedly accidentally was meant to be a ‘warm white’ but definitely came out pale pink, very hard to tell on the teeny tiny shade cards, Provençal White as a heads up for those who do/don’t want pale pink on their walls I love it though.

This is the exact reason that I created a photo frame wall behind my desk at the start of lockdown 1. The actual pictures aren't visible on Zoom and it gives people the opportunity to say 'oh nice pics' but actually see nothing of my life because I prefer to keep my work and home life separate.

I was taken aback- one colleague had light pink paint on their walls

What? Taken aback? That is the most absurd reaction to a pastel wall paint.

[quote Stovetopespresso]@Brainwave89 excellent!! its the bland backgrounds which are the weirdest!
its all a bit of fun

but I think out of respect for colleagues a place to work to appear professional is a start, if at all possoble. if they dont have one yet then kind hearted sympathy is needed.

one younger friend had a colleague who had to do zoom calls from their car as home was full of elderly relatives. so difficult for everyone and discriminatoy towards less advantaged or those from a different culture.[/quote]
Agreed. One person in my team has spent just under a year now working out of one room in a house share. Initially using an ironing board as a table. It is amazing how resilient people have been.

I’m a very blatant snooper I oddly enjoy it! I’m not sure I’d call it “judging” I’m just mega interested to see peoples homes, note if they reflect the person I’m talking to, and often have a chat about what I can see.

How bizarre - they may have a home library to rival the British Library but it may be in another room rather than the one they are zooming from. Or, OP, do you pile up every one of your worldly possessions behind you so that everyone can see your home library/collection of faberge eggs/watercolour collection/hand-painted wallpaper/etc etc?
To answer your question - no I don't judge, I enjoy a little glance into other people's home lives but there is no judgement in that given I see just a small corner of one room.

What I meant was more home office or dedicated space (neat and at least pretend to be ready for work even on Zoom/Teams) not necessarily books on display.
I judge unprepared or appearing "ambushed" colleagues during meetings. We all have children, cleaning, etc, but at least pretend to be ready for work.
You sound terrifyingly sanctimonious to be honest.

Most people are doing their best and can't just pretend the children don't exist or prioritise the backdrop for calls. I've had some important senior meetings from my sofa with DC in front of me. Thankfully my colleagues have a similar approach.