A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

[IknowIch]

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

I think we all do it, but perhaps it is wise to not let on that the backgrounds are often more interesting than the meeting content. One of my more mature and serious female colleagues often does her meeting in her study facing off to her bookshelf. if you look really carefully on the third shelf down, fourth book in there is an old (and well used?) copy of Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex, alongside Little Birds Erotica by Anais Nin.. she has gone up in my estlmation!

I think it's natural to comment on other people's backgrounds in online meetings. I mean really in that 2 minutes while you are chit chatting while you are waiting to get on online what are you meant to talk about, it's not like anyone has anything interesting happening in their lives anyway.

I think it's natural to judge/observe when we see other people's lives.

I sometimes ask about a background picture, perhaps where it is especially if I recognise it.

OP you are definitely not the only one who snoops in Zooms. It's human nature. It's up to those being snooped on to make themselves unsnoopable (if they care enough).

I reckon I would win big on your Snoopy Scale. For my Zoom backdrop, which I specially arranged to maximise my Snoopability I have:
*a bookcase with highbrow books on it (with the ones I want the clients to see turned face out)
*a wall in a flattering colour (that was a bit of luck, I didn't paint it especially)
*the desk angled so the light falls on my face (so it is easier for the people on the other end of the Zoom to see me)
*and I remove all clutter like coffee cups etc and put them round the other side of the computer so no-one can see

This is all true! However I don't have to do Zooms all day every day like some, which makes it easier to maintain my Snoop facade. And I have a dedicated office room.

Just before COVID I was working with a group of colleagues who were already using Zoom etc quite a lot. One day the Finance Director came on - he was WFH, sat in the kitchen. All I could see was the MASSIVE pile of dirty washing up behind him and I spent the whole meeting wondering if he was leaving it for Mrs Finance Director. I can't remember any content of the meeting - except for this.

I know that in You Tube videos a lot of people deliberately have books behind them to look clever. So when people choose to have that behind them in a Zoom it could be deliberate/pretentious.

One Zoom facilitator I had said to make the background as plain as possible, so as not to distract people, so maybe they're doing that?

I think you would be hard pressed to find a 'home library' in many UK homes as most just dont have the space

YABU and quite rude. A very arrogant and judgemental thing to do.

@Brainwave89 excellent!! its the bland backgrounds which are the weirdest!
its all a bit of fun

but I think out of respect for colleagues a place to work to appear professional is a start, if at all possoble. if they dont have one yet then kind hearted sympathy is needed.

one younger friend had a colleague who had to do zoom calls from their car as home was full of elderly relatives. so difficult for everyone and discriminatoy towards less advantaged or those from a different culture.

Both DH and I are working from home and have been for a year. He has the home office and I have a space in the living room. I prefer it in the living room, it’s brighter and there’s more space. DH likes being in his little hole of a room, so it’s worked out well for us. But we both have dedicated work spaces. We’re fortunate that we have the space that we can both have a dedicated home office space without it impacting our spare bedroom or on our living room too much. We’re fortunate that we can both have a separate place each.

DH can set his camera up to make it look like he’s in a home library, when in actual fact it’s one bookcase and all the shit books are hidden from sight. The bookcase is also hiding the fuse box from view. What you can’t see is that DH is sat next to the boiler or the pile of playstation games and other crap in the room. My camera background is a neutral wall behind the door. You can see my stairs and a coat rack which has some dog stuff on it. My background definitely isn’t impressive but I’m much happier and much more productive with my work space than I would be with having a bookcase as a background.

Having one view of a person’s house doesn’t tell you anything. They could have moved all the crap out of view. You have no idea how many other work spaces people have. Or where they prefer working.

@EarringsandLipstick
And this is why I use the blur function on Teams & Zoom calls.

How do you do this please?

@IknowIch

” senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.”

I am curious what industry you work in that you expect senior staff members to all be able to have a home library or office.
Also when you say you judge them, what do you mean by this? Do you actually think worse of people in a personal or professional capacity because they don’t have the affluence or taste you expect?

I usually sit in front of the most colourful curtains I own partially because lockdown has made me very tired of white walls, so think maybe if others are tired of them too they might appreciate some colour. It's also a well lit area in a usually quiet area of my house.

I don't particularly care if others are using or have a home office/library, there is enough shite going on to be stuck sitting in the same area for all these things. I do check out if there is anything in the background, but I don't particularly care (though there was one I think it was on BBC Wales news or something where someone had a dildo on the book shelf in the background, that gave me a chuckle).

@InTheNightWeWillWish hahaha does ypur dh have gin in his coffee cup too like i do?

maybe op was surprised that people dont make more of an effort?

What does it mean to 'judge' the behind decour?
I mean, very few of us chose to WFH and do work calls from home on regular basis.
Everyone else in the meeting should be grateful I showed up.

If they are offended by my ugly walls or weird furniture of manky face -- get over it. I didn't ask for this environment either.

I love seeing into other people's homes even if it is just the kitchen wall or bedroom wall.

I can't afford to judge because I would invariably come out worse from it. I'm in the minority in my work place as I rent a small flat with no extra work space. So I can hardly judge someone else for the same.

@itallworkedouthorribly

Matt Hancock has too many frames for these to be pictures, he's a beauty therapist on the side and these are his certificates for Botox, eyebrow threading etc.

Guess my job then, I have 20 frames on the wall when I am working and on a Teams call.

Urgh the term "curated Zoom backdrop" makes my toes curl. You can actually buy fake piles of books online now. Wtf.

I think we're all doing it to some extent though. Whether that's arranging books and our best mug in the shot or shoving the washing airer and the clutter to the other side of the room.

A lot of people haven't required a "home office" until now, they've been working full time away from home, so it's a little odd to judge them on a lack of office surroundings?

I look and think wow get some colour into your home, so many are just white with a bit of magnolia. Judgey as that may be

You sound awful. Glad I don’t work with you. I would say if they’re your colleagues then you probably earn similar so not sure what you’re really judging. People spend money in different ways, clearly you spend yours on the highest horses you can find.

I have a colleague who has a crazy cat. Whenever I’m on a call with her I find myself watching this mad cat getting up to no good behind her. It’s very distracting but also the highlight of my day.

My background is just a white wall. I wonder what everyone thinks of me

Maybe I should get a shelf installed behind me and put random objects on it before each call. One day I could have a house plant the next day a huge dildo.

@Stovetopespresso he mostly still has the coffee... but probably slips some whisky into his coffee

It's so last year to have a deliberately chosen backdrop of bloody bookshelves for video calls with certain books being promoted so they are in view! So cringe. Buncha amateurs, just stop it. Nobody is impressed by this.

You sound unproductive at your meetings OP

@brownteddybear. What is on YOUR backdrop? Can you advise what our backdrops should be wearing so as not to look last year?!

When lockdown started I had laptop on kitchen table. DH was using our study and is very loud so found it difficult to work with him. Behind me was patio doors to the garden and behind that my washing line. Everyone commented on whether is was wash day or not but I didn't really care, why would i as it's just part of life. I was careful not to put my underwear on the visible side of the line though as that would be grim.