A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

[IknowIch]

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

I feel embarrassed that my home looks too nice. Seeing people in their 30s having to work on top of their beds etc makes me feel guilty. What must they think of chandelier in the background?

This is tongue in cheek isn't it?

If I saw a chandelier in the background, I'd just think of the only fools and horses sketch c.2009!

I do zoom from my sofa. In my shit tiny house. There is nowhere else, and nor do I care!

I happen to have (it is not deliberately there), in the background, a beautiful painting done for me by a very talented artist who used to work for me, whose art I could never have afforded myself.....

Whether anybody notices or not I don’t know, I care. Maybe they are all just too busy judging my shitty futon, and my stupid hair and Labour Party t-shirts.

Swings and roundabouts. I say don’t judge, lest ye be judged yourself.....,

Yes you sound very judgy and I'm glad you're not in my zoom meetings

Not sure if my view qualifies on this as a partner in our business however I intentionally use on of tbe most understated neutral rooms for colleague calls. Ultimately as a partner it would be pretty repugnant to be ostentatious to my employees. Perhaps your senior team feel the same.

Could be worse, you could have adorned bookcases like this poor woman

Ooh I love a bit of a nosey during Teams calls! I am totally open about it though and certainly not judgy. It’s actually helped with staying connected with colleagues as we end up talking about what we like to read / do / watch etc. I have been laughed at for the dalek that sits behind my head, and only use blur / backgrounds when DD is refusing to keep any clothes on (because she always ends up crawling all over me at some point in the call to say hello to my colleagues). They’ve all met my cat, and I’ve been able to meet their children and pets when they appear on screen. I did get into a wee bit of trouble for commenting on one colleagues decor. But that’s because she had some lovely decorative jugs on the mantle piece behind her and I could resist yelling out “nice jugs!”. I hadn’t realised that the global head of HR was also in the meeting 🤭

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Yesterday my cat decided she didn't like her breakfast just as I was starting a zoom meeting. Colleagues entertained by half an hour of madam having a strop: - marching back and forth across the back of the sofa, with progressively rude tail gestures, - trying to climb on the laptop - sitting on my lap and glaring at them,

• scratching a chair...
• her finale was jumping down the back of the sofa giving them a delightful view of her bum as she did so.

Thankfully she then fell asleep for a while.

Oh Lordy, mine does this kind of thing too! I’ve had to apologise and go and deal with the biological weapon deposited in the litter tray mid-meeting too, as the smell was unbearable (tiny open plan house and the only table isn’t less than from the tray).

@AndreaMartelsCoat

It’s much worse than you think. The chandelier is a tacky, part plastic old Laura Ashley thing. We can’t afford to redecorate the whole place. The spare room will probably have to wait until I retire!

Still, it all looks really grand over low definition zoom. Mortifying really.

So if you have a bookcase you have delusions of grandeur!!?🤣 This is peak mumsnet.

We have a small vintage chandelier from a reclamation yard as we have ta ceilings and really wanted one. The fact that some mine trees are so appalled and nasty at the idea of it is more mumsnet at its very best/worst. I sometimes wonder how some people manage to have friends and or a relationship when they’re so darn mean.

What a boring thing to be judgemental about. At least be judgey about the wall colour (F&B?) or bookshelf content (classics?). Sheesh. Low effort.

We have a small vintage chandelier from a reclamation yard as we have ta ceilings and really wanted one. The fact that some mine trees are so appalled and nasty at the idea of it is more mumsnet at its very best/worst. I sometimes wonder how some people manage to have friends and or a relationship when they’re so darn mean.

😳

We have a small vintage chandelier from a reclamation yard as we have ta ceilings and really wanted one. The fact that some mine trees are so appalled and nasty at the idea of it is more mumsnet at its very best/worst. I sometimes wonder how some people manage to have friends and or a relationship when they’re so darn mean.

😳

What's a ta ceiling

What are mine trees

And people should not be managing to have friends or relationships because they don't like chandeliers

Mumsnet at its finest!!

It depends on what you mean by "judging".

Curiosity about other people's homes and lives is natural, and I've enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about them. Perhaps that could be characterised as "snooping" a little, but if you're not making anyone uncomfortable or jumping to conclusions, it's not a big deal.

However, tread carefully when discussing people's homes with others. I personally wouldn't call it off-limits, but many people have little choice about their work environments during the pandemic and are already uncomfortable putting them on show. Making people aware that you're observing and discussing colleagues' homes can put them on edge, just as comments about someone's clothes or makeup can make people self-conscious.

Going beyond that and saying someone ought to have a home office or making uncharitable/presumptuous remarks about people's homes is generally considered rude. You're probably not doing this, but again: take care, as people may read unintended rudeness into remarks on sensitive topics.

You can download an image to use as background. I have seen people on zoom sitting on a beach in the tropics (seemingly).

I have a home library but I usually zoom call from my billiard room.

I think it is a bit off to judge to be honest. We have 4 of us doing school and working from home. We can't all sit in the imaginary library or pick the best background in the house. Quiet and private is all we aim for at the moment.

We rarely put our video on in work meetings so I was caught out recently when our chair suggested putting it on. I had forgotten that I had set Glastonbury as my background. She commented positively luckily. Not that I would have cared but it was more interesting than my real background.

@garlicwhorl

wtf has a home library

I do. It's very non-posh, filled with inexpensive bookcases and inexpensive books, but there are almost 1000 of them, or possibly just over 1000 by now. All catalogued, sorted by genre, alphabetized by author, and with a little label giving position in series if part of a series. That room (this room, I'm in there now) is also my very modest home office. It's also what I laughingly call my "guest room," although when I have guests they stay in the master bedroom, and I move in here with my books and my computer.

And before someone screams about having "that many books," I only keep books that I think are worth re-reading at some point. All others are donated to either the convalescent home down the road or to a group that takes books to prisons. I read something close to 200 books a year. I also donate around 100 books a year.

But to get to the subject at hand, nah. I don't much pay attention to the homes of others, unless a cute animal is present.

@Mamanyt it was a rhetorical question

[quote garlicwhorl]@Mamanyt it was a rhetorical question[/quote]
LOL, it was still fun to answer.

Blimey. I'm a senior manager and work from my bed most days as it's the warmest and quietest place in the house - my noisy neighbours dictate some of where I work. This is why I use a photo I took on holiday of the sea as my background. Nobody needs to see my bedding!

I've just downloaded a zoom background from a 2019 holiday. I'm hoping that when I do my yoga class this morning people will be impressed by the elephants in the background and think I live in a safari park.

OP is the reason why I use a zoom background!

I use a virtual background cos my house is always a mess. For office zooms though, I don't think it looks very professional to be sitting on the sofa with your laptop on your knee