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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

303 replies

IknowIch · 15/02/2021 15:24

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
hamstersarse · 15/02/2021 15:40

It's hard not to have a nosy - and the blurring thing always makes me even more curious as to what they are hiding.

Human nature innit

31RooCambon · 15/02/2021 15:41

I think we all let the camera fall on a piece of the house that we don't mind colleagues seeing. Not the dishes in the sink or the laundry.

ComDummings · 15/02/2021 15:41

I try not to judge people on things like their wallpaper or what books they have on a zoom call because it seems silly. Plus you can only see a tiny portion of the room

Original poster
IknowIch · 15/02/2021 15:42

Home office - correct English.

OP posts:
AStudyinPink · 15/02/2021 15:43

It’s quite grim that this emergency has forced people to let others view their homes in order to do their jobs and all people like you can do is sneer at them.

DeeCeeCherry · 15/02/2021 15:43

Exactly why I don't use Zoom. Noseys will focus and judge on your home more so than concentrate on meeting content. I suppose many people do it but, how crass to mention it/invite conversation about it.

Presumably OP you wanted your friend to agree you were right to do this, or to gossip about another colleagues home with you.

I didn't know there was a blur function, thanks pp's - I will use this at the point I can no longer avoid Zoom meetings.

It's quite sad (but no surprise) that some people feel the need to use "I'm intellectual" backgrounds for Zoom meetings, lest they be judged

LindaEllen · 15/02/2021 15:44

@garlicwhorl

wtf has a home library Confused
I think they just mean their desk is in front of their bookshelf. One bookshelf doesn't make a sodding library.
PanamaPattie · 15/02/2021 15:44

I have a home library of around two thousand books - however, I use my gin palace as my background. Breaks the ice in boring meetings.

SnowyBranches · 15/02/2021 15:45

I like seeing people's houses, it's humanising and friendly. I don't judge them though, I can't see how you can, when you are seeing a tiny tiny snapshot of their house. Mostly its a blank wall, I find.
I probably would judge someone who blurred their background though, I would assume their house was a tip or that they were super paranoid. I had a meeting with someone whose background was blurred, but whenever he moved his arms, something like the Leaning Tower of Pisa could be seen behind him, revealing itself in bits, like the picture on Catchphrase. In the end I realised it was his laundry basket.

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 15/02/2021 15:45

I have a home office that is an actual office downstairs, not a spare bedroom repurposed.

I'm still slumming it on the sofa with my four year old so he can watch tv while I work.

Fairly senior.

Judge away.

Original poster
IknowIch · 15/02/2021 15:46

@SmileyClare actually, I have a home office and library and we use them.

I am not normally judgy, but was taken aback about opinions I formed on such trivial things.

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 15/02/2021 15:47

We have a lot of books. And quite a few are in my dedicated work office. But you wouldn’t see them when I’m having a zoom call as they’re in other parts of the room.

Some people also use backgrounds of rooms so even those people who look like they have home libraries might not. And those who look like they don’t might do

cabbagevan · 15/02/2021 15:48

I have a home library of several thousand books, here you go OP, have a good snoop and enjoy Grin

A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings
Pukkatea · 15/02/2021 15:48

I don't even have any shelves in my flat. Home office? Ha. I have a cheap folding desk set up between the TV and the coffee table. I know loads of people who work from their bed because they flatshare and have no other space that is theirs. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have lovely libraries and offices and spare rooms galore.

LaceyBetty · 15/02/2021 15:49

Your friend has accused you of being a snoop because you admitted you are a snoop. And what is there to judge about someone not having a dedicated work space? There are two adults and two school-aged children trying to work in my house. Should we all have our own libraries offices?

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 15/02/2021 15:49

This is the reason why I put a background on for calls. Every single time I haven’t done that someone has made a comment about the content of my “home library” and / or asked about objects on view. It’s really really cringingly rude - akin to opening cupboards and drawers when you view a property for sale.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 15/02/2021 15:49

Everyone looks I think but out of curiosity, it's not on to be judgy or to basically talk about it.

We actually did genuinely have a room with books in it last year when I was working online and it happened that it was the only quiet room in the house (and I had been home working and using zoom well before lockdown so it was set up) if you started getting judgy or commenting to others about my home I would have pulled you up quick smart about it not to mention I wouldn't give a flying wotsit what you thought of my books.

Except the day with the colleague who had derma planed her face and it was bright red and her naked husband wandered past the screen.....I grant you...that was discussed a bit (but in front if her and ranged between several home remedies to help ease her soreness , suggestions of a doctor and that she looked fabulous to begin with combined with all of us including her laughing our asses off at her husband ....who ran faster than Usain bolt when he realised Grin) .

Everyone looks but stop the judgy rubbish and any commenting.

Freetigerking · 15/02/2021 15:50

Wow just wow!!!

LaceyBetty · 15/02/2021 15:50

actually, I have a home office and library and we use them.

How fancy! You must be very important.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/02/2021 15:50

@IknowIch

I am long-term MN NC user. English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

Senior members of staff with no dedicated workspace or home library?

God, you'd certainly judge me. I'm senior (if you believe all that company hierarchy bollocks) and work at the dining room table (always have) and not one shelf has a book on it. In fact thinking about it, we don't have any shelves, so lower class I is!!

SilverRoe · 15/02/2021 15:51

I think it’s natural to notice backgrounds but i think it’s a bit elitist/snobbish to judge people based on your standards of home office/workstation/library. Not everyone has the luxury of that sort of space.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 15/02/2021 15:51

I'd rather not have a home office or library but have a bit of decency and not be a judgmental dick.

EBearhug · 15/02/2021 15:52

How can you judge people on things they can't see? I don't assume people don't have books just because I can't see them on a call, because no one has walked round showing us every room, because we are there to discuss datacentre closures or other exciting work-related things. I only get to see a small part of colleagues' houses.

SmileyClare · 15/02/2021 15:53

You can't really judge a colleague based on what's behind them on a Zoom call unless it's a gin palace, how slatternlyGrin

It's a bit cringe worthy when someone has tried too hard to arrange all their high brow reading materials behind their face, and a couple of "interesting artefacts" from their travels, a cute family photo and that trophy they got at university.
I mean get over yourself.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/02/2021 15:54

@LaceyBetty

actually, I have a home office and library and we use them.

How fancy! You must be very important.

Or Matt Hancock.