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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

303 replies

IknowIch · 15/02/2021 15:24

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Crazzzycat · 15/02/2021 16:28

I think it’s one thing to have a mild interest in how people have decorated their office spaces and what books they have on their bookshelves, but I wouldn’t dream of judging anyone.

I wouldn’t even know where to start with that. Is there a gold standard for zoom backgrounds?

Call me radical, but as far as I’m concerned people can decorate their houses however they like 😒

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/02/2021 16:28

My colleague's house looks like the inside of a Cath Kidston shop, everything placed just so it's in shot lol - my desk is in the hallway so you get a view of a plain wall with a mirror

sonjadog · 15/02/2021 16:29

I lecture from my kitchen table. My students can see my fridge, worktop and cupboards behind me. Whenever I started teaching online I decided not to do the fake backdrop thing because I thought it is just a kitchen, everyone has one and we are all working from home, so what? But now I think it maybe also makes me seem more approachable that if I was sitting with the official university filter around me.

I also discovered last week when at an online conference where I had to use the official filter, is that the colour makes me look ill.

MustardMitt · 15/02/2021 16:29

I think it’s normal to be interested in the background but it’s not normal to judge people on it. Are you the team on that cringy kitchen ad?

amymel2016 · 15/02/2021 16:30

It’s one of the best things about lockdown, seeing other people’s houses. I especially love all the random celebrities houses.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 15/02/2021 16:31

Although I have to admit whenever Matt Hancock is on a zoom interview I do sit and try and work out if his red room

Wasn't there a red room in 50 Shades...is it that sort of room?

ToDoListAddict · 15/02/2021 16:33

You sound like my colleague Grin I did one video call with her and that was it because she spent the entire time asking me about the stuff in the background! I don't switch the camera on for her anymore!

itallworkedouthorribly · 15/02/2021 16:33

I judge the man from the Zoe app on YouTube.

doublehalo · 15/02/2021 16:34

@garlicwhorl

wtf has a home library Confused
I have a home library - except I just call them book shelves.
itallworkedouthorribly · 15/02/2021 16:35

Matt Hancock has too many frames for these to be pictures, he's a beauty therapist on the side and these are his certificates for Botox, eyebrow threading etc.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 15/02/2021 16:37

We have a home office. DH works from home full time and has done for 7 years, so we made sure we dedicated space to it.
Which means that during this pandemic that we didn’t foresee, I have to work from the dining room table, despite being fairly senior! I also have 2 primary aged children working next to me for most of the day, who might make an appearance on my meetings. Judge away, there’s not much I can do about it 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Lexilooo · 15/02/2021 16:37

I use fake backgrounds, I have a home office, in fact we have two, and my dining table gives a view of a big bookcase full of good books (paperback fiction goes elsewhere) but I normally have a load of laundry drying behind me so fake background it is. A corporate one for serious stuff and a fun one for team building stuff.

diddl · 15/02/2021 16:38

Did we discover what a home library is?

LadyCatStark · 15/02/2021 16:39

Who has a home library??

DS has a home office but we’re both WFH so I have to use the dining room so are we acceptable or slummy?

eddiemairswife · 15/02/2021 16:39

Sadly, I broke my Emma Bridgewater mug, but I do have two Cath Kidstons. Did I use a fronted adverbial there?

NeverWillIEver · 15/02/2021 16:40

I notice but don't judge.

I was thinking yesterday that my line manager had a lovely tablecloth.

Cccc1111 · 15/02/2021 16:41

Judgemental. You have a problem and need to take a good look at yourself. Same as quite a few on here, people like you are the reason I blur my background.

VettiyaIruken · 15/02/2021 16:43

@diddl

Did we discover what a home library is?
A bookshelf?
growinggreyer · 15/02/2021 16:45

@eddiemairswife

Sadly, I broke my Emma Bridgewater mug, but I do have two Cath Kidstons. Did I use a fronted adverbial there?
Haha, lockdown has improved the grammar of the population, if nothing else. You can have my Star of the week already!
Stovetopespresso · 15/02/2021 16:48

op said english was second language, home libary = some books I'd guess.

i have a friend who 'curates' her background as she has been interviewed a few times on tv, i'd probably do thw same, maybe we should ask why for tv and not for colleagues?

I couldnt help but think how vulnerable a senior manager looked sitting on her bed in lockdown 1. I've left now but would hope she's sorted something more professional out for the sake of her back if nothing else.

dingoesatemybaby · 15/02/2021 16:50

Hahahaha!

I sit on my bed for mine. You'd have a lot to say about me

Henio · 15/02/2021 16:51

@diddl

Did we discover what a home library is?
Something like this is what I imagine
A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings
PurpleRainDancer · 15/02/2021 16:51

Whilst you’re in your ‘home library’, give your head a wobble OP Hmm

notalwaysalondoner · 15/02/2021 16:52

Of course everyone is curious and judges a little but I’d say I only judge if someone is particularly far from the norm eg piles of dirty laundry really obviously behind them or something. Otherwise it’s more curiosity than judgment.

Stovetopespresso · 15/02/2021 16:54

@Lexilooo

I use fake backgrounds, I have a home office, in fact we have two, and my dining table gives a view of a big bookcase full of good books (paperback fiction goes elsewhere) but I normally have a load of laundry drying behind me so fake background it is. A corporate one for serious stuff and a fun one for team building stuff.
hmmmm, constant use of fake backgrounds eh...would raise my judgey hackles...

much more genuine to be genuine, as in let it all hang out, at least some of the time imo....plus backgrounds can make the silhouette quite blurry