Given photos to put on our wall

[MariaK91]

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

Could be worse, sil gave us a bloody great big canvas of her, bil and the new baby for Christmas years ago. They live abroad so whenever anyone came to visit us they'd go "Who's that?" And then fall about laughing that we'd had it foisted on us.

@Runnerduck34

Its normal to give photos to grandparents and aunts and uncles, framed prints are a bit odd thou, I wouldn't assume someone would want a framed print of my dc on their wall, is it something you put in the wall.ir can it be out on a side table? Can't picture a frame where you couldn't remove the photo?! Anyway you don't have to put it up if you don't want to!

It can only be hung on the wall or propped up against something if we wanted to put it on a side table, there's no stand with it. I think it has been ordered from a website that both prints the photos and frames. To describe what it looks like, the frame is thin and made of plastic and there is no glass cover, the photo paper it's printed on gives it a newspaper-like effect. There's no clips or anything on the back to get the photo out, it's as if the back was pressed on and it clips in place or something. If you tap it, it sounds like hollow plastic. I could maybe try and pry it apart but it's definitely not designed to be dismantled. Maybe I could buy those sticky adhesive thingies and stick them to the fridge and then take them down after a few months or something.

‘Unclench yourself’ is one I’m saving. I don’t think YABU. I wouldn’t want a picture of myself I didn’t like in a frame I didn’t like on my wall, even if there was a baby in it! I’d stand it on a surface when they come round. Or, hang it so badly it falls and breaks. Send them a sad picture of broken picture. Then reframe it.

I’m a bit late to the party here but my SIL is awful for giving us photo gifts of not just her kids, but of her whole family. Every Christmas we get a calendar, two mugs, multiple frames all with pictures of their entire family at various locations. the quality is always terrible as it’s phone pictures.

I feel like a cow but why would I want them? One year we got a cushion with them on. So weird.

I’ve just read the thread! I am not alone in being burdened with other people’s photo toot!

@MargaretThursday

I once inadvertently upset dsis.

We were all together one Christmas and we'd given my parents a copy of the school photos. One of the other relatives asked, I thought fairly jokingly, whether that was going to be everyone's present.
So I said I'd only given it to the grandparents as it felt a bit self-centred to assume everyone would want pictures of my dc (beautiful and wonderful though they are.)
Then we opened presents. Guess what dsis had given to everyone. Oops.

I think she's forgiven me. At any rate I received her photos last year again.

Oh goodness! Sorry but this made me laugh!

I wouldn't like this either, I don't like to give or receive home decor because it's such a personal thing. And I don't like loads of photos up.

When I married my husband, we eloped so no one was at our wedding. Afterwards we got some photos printed to give to our parents, by request. That year for Christmas, MIL had one of the wedding photos blown up to A4 size and framed and gave it to us as a Christmas gift.

I thought that was such an odd thing to do. It wasn't a particularly nice photo anyway, and if we'd wanted it in larger size to put on our wall we'd already have done that.

@BlackCatShadow

Not true. Plenty of childless aunts and uncles would want those photos.

Yeah, I don't believe this either. A guy friend of mine who is single and childless often gets these kinds of presents from his brother and his wife of their kids. I really don't think he is that interested.

Well, I want them and someone else has said so in this very thread. I have a friend who sent me a photo of her DN so yes, actually some aunts and uncles do like family photos. But then again I have photos of myself with my friends on the walls as well so I must be strange for MNers.

"Why childless? 😂😂😂 surely people have similar relationships with their nieces and nephews regardless whether they have their own children. I doubt that many childless people are hankering for pictures of babies to hang on the wall."

Well apparently not according to this thread. People saying they wouldn't have a photo of someone else''s child on their wall. I'm presuming that's because they want to have their own children's photos there, which obviously doesn't apply if you're childless/childfree.
I definitely want a photo of my little DN on my wall. I tried to make my own, but the quality wasn't good enough so I haven't got one :(

I don't think it's a weird or abnormal thing to give, but I do think you should be sure of a framed photo's reception before you give them to people. Some like it, some don't.

I have school photos of my niece and nephew, I've framed them and propped them up. I do actually look forward to getting the next ones (every other year at secondary, not every year any more) and my DSis has my dc's school pictures in return. We both like having photos of each other's kids. My DBro has a dc (now adult) and I wouldn't have had pics of him up, it's not the same. I'm very much closer to DSis and her lovely kids.

I've given school photos to grandparents, all seemed to appreciate it. I made a calendar from photos of DS for MIL as he is her only grandchild and is far more enthusiastic than my Mum. In fact I showed said calendar to my mum and she was noticeably indifferent (as I expected, as DS is not Golden Grandchild) despite complaining that she doesn't have many photos of DS. (I emailed her some over so she's probably got more than she wanted now!)

If I was given photos of ourselves holding someone else's baby, I say "Oh thanks" and put them in a cupboard, so I could hoik them out if they came round. I do think that this is just the start though OP, so if you're not a fan of photos you might have to say something.

Shove em in a drawer !

@Gwenhwyfar

"but barely anyone wants pictures of other people’s children on their walls."

Not true. Plenty of childless aunts and uncles would want those photos.

Do you think there’s a quota for child photos that every house must meet, and people without children have no choice but to outsource the wall-space to the offspring of others?

People who choose to not have children tend not to decorate their houses with them.

People who wanted children but couldn’t have them generally tend not to decorate their houses with them.

Come to think of it, I only have one photo of a person hung on a wall, and that's more because it sits nicely with the other frames I chose.

People photos are all together on a bookshelf.

I didn't think it through, but my rule appears to be walls for art, shelves for photos.

I've been told off by not having photos of our wedding up (both sets of parents gave up on us and printed their own), but we do have a photo of the venue.

My grandmother refused to out up any photos of any family member. Until my sister had her photo taken with Barack Obama in the Whitehouse. That one is framed and given pride of place.

A4 pics of babies would not make the mark

"Do you think there’s a quota for child photos that every house must meet, and people without children have no choice but to outsource the wall-space to the offspring of others?"

I'm just saying that I, and my friends who are aunts, like having photos of our DNs.

"People who choose to not have children tend not to decorate their houses with them."

Why? Choosing not to have children doesn't mean you don't like them.

"People who wanted children but couldn’t have them generally tend not to decorate their houses with them."

And what about aunts and uncles who it just didn't happen for, didn't meet the right man/woman, or just haven't had children yet?

My younger (the favoured) sister sends our parents one of those photo calendars every year featuring her DCs. Turns out my older sister was also sending them a calendar featuring HER DCs. Guess which one gets displayed??

They also have a summer house with a framed triptych of photos of Favoured Younger Sister, her DH and DC. It's like a shrine.

😄

It could be worse OP, one year my dsis gave us a large canvas of her family unit. It is awful, the kids looked utterly miserable. The GPs got an extra large version you could use as a liferaft, it's far too big for any wall in my parent's house. She sulked when they didn't immediately put it up.

@Timpeall

Nibling is just a collective word for niece and nephew.

Why do people need to cry 'woke' at anything that's new to them.

Zzzzzz

It's American and it's gender neutral . It's woke or for lazy people

I don't object to being gifted photos of dn but i don't like them being framed. Ds has only given me the just born photos of her children plus a Christmas photo which included my son with his cousins always unframed. Sil on the other hand... Every Christmas we get a new photo of dn in the same colour frame (which doesn't match a single thing), I'm terrified to change the frame and we're expected to display the historic photos for ever more.

YANBU! It's up to you what you want displayed in your own home. Giving you the picture would be a nice gesture but framing it is a bit presumptuous unless you've got loads of pictures of your family up already and they know you like that sort of thing

If you don't like them, don't put them up. They won't be in your house for ages so it will be a while before they notice. When they are eventually allowed in your house again, just say they are in your bedroom. If you really don't want to offend, prop them up against a fireplace or something when they are visiting.

Oh this reminds me of one Xmas mil presented us with a gift bag and in it was a framed photo of his sisters (awful looking up the nose close up selfie style). I don't get on with dh sisters at all. I just put them away and changed the photos the next day and put the frames up, they never said anything. Putting it up would have encouraged more

We get a Christmas photo of nephew every year. Never know what to do with it.

Think you just say thanks and put it in a draw, maybe keep the frames.

Oh god, I loath being given photos as gifts. I like art on the walls - that's it.

I dont have any in my house but various relatives still continue to but them for me.

I find a drawer or cupboard for them usually.

YANBU I do think it’s a bit entitled to expect someone to display their choice of photo in your own house.

You could spray paint/ paint/ art attack the frame to make it match your decor if you want to reuse it.

I had changed my mind about my photos being on display, so I wrapped up and chucked the frames in my cupboard and stuck the photos on the inside door of my clothes cupboard. That way they are not on display yet I see them everyday when I open my cupboard door. Maybe try that if you don’t want to offend your SIL.