Given photos to put on our wall

[MariaK91]

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

It's a bit OTT but they were trying to be nice.

For me having a picture of me on my own wall would be odd so I wouldn't want the pictures up. My Nephew when he was small and cute, I'd have happily displayed somewhere.

As they won't be visiting for a while you don't need to worry about displaying them now. If they ever mention it say you don't like looking at your own picture all the time so you have put them in the spare room or something.

‘There’s been calendars, mugs, mouse mats with their photos.
I don’t need to drink my coffee out of my nephew’s head, lovely and all as he is.’

I sympathise on the canvas print too, a relative was trying to make one of these for MY FAMILY and select the photo as well! I said I didn’t want it and had nowhere to put it! Said relative had never done the print before and was out to have a little experiment for a little hobby and then give us the result!

It’s not okay
😂

Is this not a normal thing to do? I always give photos in frames as presents!

I think it's a nice gesture... if you don't like it don't put it up or pass it onto another family member. Would your Mum/Dad/Gran like the frame with the picture of you all?

Wow, we have no photographs up of anyone, I don’t like them, anywhere

I would put them in a cupboard.

When my friend graduated Uni, her proud parents put so many pictures of her up in their sitting room, it was awful.

Ruined a nice room.

@MariaK91

Haven't RTFT sorry! So apologies if this has been said. But why not get a couple printed that you like, (and put them up,) and she may not even notice.

My brother and sil do this a lot, I smile and thank them and never get round to doing anything more than propping the frames up on a barely visible shelf somewhere. But I am notoriously not into DIY or interior decoration so "yeah I'll put those up one day when I get to it" is easily accepted from me if anyone asks.

@SilverSoftlySwaying

Wow, we have no photographs up of anyone, I don’t like them, anywhere

I would put them in a cupboard.

When my friend graduated Uni, her proud parents put so many pictures of her up in their sitting room, it was awful.

Ruined a nice room.

How many did she put up?

We have 3 of our DD's graduation on the dining room wall. One of her (a 16" x 12") that was taken by the photographer there, one of the 3 of us, (7" x 5") and one of her with her boyfriend. (7" X 5".) Nothing wrong with that.

But if there's LOADS, like say, 8-10 or more, then that's a bit much!

@photogift that's awful, I sympathise 😂 I got a mug with one of my nephew's drawings on it once... I used to use it to pee in, when I was testing to see if I was ovulating . All the other mugs in my house are matching and expensive stoneware, it doesn't get used (well especially not now!!)

They'll calm down in about a year
Well, yes, if you are lucky.
I have relatives who is still doing this even though their PFB is now nearly 30 and even the youngest is in their late teens l. At least we only get digital photos, scans of school reports etc now though. I used to feel a bit bad about binning actual physical pictures, but the delete button is guilt free.

Re: the "nibling" thing, is that your siblings child?

Didn't OP say it was SIL and BIL that gave them the photos? So it would be her DHs "nibling"?

I do think it's a weird gift, I'd just chuck them in a cupboard until I was sure I wouldn't be questioned on them, then in the bin they would go. If I wanted photos of someone else's kid up in my house I'm perfectly capable of choosing one I actually like.

I personally think it’s a little strange having been there myself. We often get gifted school photos of the eldest too...and it’s generally for birthdays/Christmas too.

It’s an odd one though, because you can’t really say ‘stop giving me photos’.

Just one of life’s quirks 😉

Normal to give photos but also normal to choose not to put them up - I've given framed photos to people in the past but certainly wouldn't be offended if I couldn't see where they were when I visited!

I would be very touched by this, and I don’t think it’s s weird thingto do. If I didn’t like the photos I’d just not put them where I’d see them all the time.

I think it’s normal to give to grandparents but not aunts and uncles - my parents complain if they don’t get a family calendar ... but my MIL doesn’t put up pictures of all her GC ... just my SILs kids so I just don’t give them pictures of my kids anymore ... it’s a weird one though as last Christmas she gave me a whole load of framed pictures of my step daughter identical to ones I already had up ( same special occasion ) ...so now I have identical pictures opposite sides of the same room

littlepattilou

Four or Five large ones.

Surely on MN you don't need to use nibling, just DNs.

I recently put up a photo of my DNs, but I chose the photo and the frame. I actually don't like it when people give me photos of my own DC. I feel like they are always fairly bad photos and not nice frames.

Its normal to give photos to grandparents and aunts and uncles, framed prints are a bit odd thou, I wouldn't assume someone would want a framed print of my dc on their wall, is it something you put in the wall.ir can it be out on a side table? Can't picture a frame where you couldn't remove the photo?!
Anyway you don't have to put it up if you don't want to!

I think it’s normal to give photos to grandparents/great g.parents and aunts and uncles. But I’d only give aunts and uncles 6x4s, nothing bigger than that. And any frames would be cheap ones on the basis that they might not want to display them anywhere. Grandparents get bigger photos and maybe in ‘proper’ frames, but normally just as they are so they can replace last years photos. A new frame every year would mean they had 15 photos of dd by now. I have no idea where they would all fit!

We get a pic of DHs nephew for every birthday and Christmas in a frame (of course I want a pic of my DHs nephew for my birthday, as opposed to a bottle of prosecco).

I put them in a drawer. One has been behind the fruit bowl for about 18 months.

Surely on MN you don't need to use nibling, just DNs.

I think niblings is inspired, personally.

I have a whatsapp group with mine, and have taken to saying 'wasssssssssssssuppppppppppp niblings/nibs!!' They pretend it's funny

So much easier than saying nieces and nephews.

Unless I missed it Mumsnet must be losing its touch, having large family photos on your walls is an absolutely classic class signifier

I have relatives who is still doing this even though their PFB is now nearly 30 and even the youngest is in their late teens

A good friend of mine has an older sibling who is the favourite child. Her parents home is covered in photographs of her sisters graduation, engagement, wedding, children, christenings etc.
My friend (now early 40's) got married at 18 and divorced at 20 the only photo her parents have up of her is a wedding photo with the groom cut off!

I once inadvertently upset dsis.

We were all together one Christmas and we'd given my parents a copy of the school photos. One of the other relatives asked, I thought fairly jokingly, whether that was going to be everyone's present.
So I said I'd only given it to the grandparents as it felt a bit self-centred to assume everyone would want pictures of my dc (beautiful and wonderful though they are.)
Then we opened presents. Guess what dsis had given to everyone. Oops.

I think she's forgiven me. At any rate I received her photos last year again.

Re. buying decor type gifts. It’s not that odd sometimes people give an empty photo frame as a gift.

They obviously think they’re being nice. It’s just a difference of opinion. Some people would love this, some wouldn’t. They may be offended if you don’t put them up or they may not. Either way you don’t have to if you don’t want to. None of us know how they’ll react.

@IrmaFayLear

I think some people fail to understand that really it is only grandparents who appreciate your dcs as much as you do. Siblings may like or love them, especially if they don’t have dcs themselves, but barely anyone wants pictures of other people’s children on their walls.

I was once given a calendar of dn - 12 photos, one per month. I didn’t put it up, but kept it handy to quickly hang in the kitchen should there be a visit!

@IrmaFayLear I think you fail to understand that it is not only grandparents! We've had a calendar with our nephews and niece on for the 3 years before DD was born and this year SIL included DD.

I also have photos of my nephews and niece on my photo wall.