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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report her Covid breach?

342 replies

ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:19

I admit I'm a bit bitter and prone to thoughts of revenge so I could do with some rational thoughts here.
My recently ex husband has a new girlfriend. She records her and her child's life on Facebook. It's all on public, no filters!
In January her parents drove 300miles to visit her for 'much needed cuddles'
She has just driven 300 miles with her child to visit them for a half term break. It's all mud masks and lovely walks and mummy time!
It's really grinding my gears! When some of us are playing by the rules and not driving 10 miles to see our loved ones.
I really want to report her as I know her address, car reg etc.
All public on Facebook!
To report a Covid breach though you have to give your own details and my ex has a temper! I don't want my name to be implicated.
Should I just leave it alone and get a life?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Tinkerbell456 · 15/02/2021 07:45

Hmmm- I can understand to a degree, but you are only hurting yourself by looking at her social media op.

Playnoh · 15/02/2021 07:46

@RootyT00t

Where does it actually say you can’t have a childcare bubble 300miles away? Yes you may just be using common sense but I don’t actually think it’s specifically not allowed. This is the problem no one knows what the bloody rules are! I’m not saying I do know the rules but I don’t think they’ve specified how far you can travel for your support/childcare bubble.

OhWhyNot · 15/02/2021 07:49

Stop hurting yourself by looking at her Facebook you have no need to and you are only hurting one person and that’s you

borageforager · 15/02/2021 07:50

JosephineBaker Merseyside Police retracted the fine because there isn’t any limit in law on how far you can travel.

RoseAndRose · 15/02/2021 07:53

@jeaux90

It's a single adult household. She is allowed.

Also, get a life.

Unlikely, if she's actually seeing her new boyfriend. Only one support bubble allowed, and childcare bubbles your meant to drop your DC off and have minimal necessary contact between adults.

This sort of trip, whist we are still wresting down the numbers, is exactly the way it keeps spreading.

I don't want to be under lockdown for longer than absolutely necessary. This kind of thing just slows down the route to relaxation of restrictions, costing more lives and livelihoods.

It's wrong. You can't exactly call her out on it, because then you would just look bitter trouble maker. So no option but proper report.

She'll ever know who reported her, because all sorts of people will have seen (on SM or RL neighbours). She might have been reported already, for all you know

Iggly · 15/02/2021 07:55

OP you’re directing your anger at the wrong person. Your ex is the one who’s done this to you.

Hammonds · 15/02/2021 07:56

OP be kind to yourself Flowers

It’s easy for people to say ‘move on’ but you’ve suffered a catastrophic life event. The damage it can do your mental well being is probably much worse than a broken leg/arm ect.. those heal in weeks - events like this can take years as if creeps in to brain all day and refuses to allow you to sleep.

Its good your self aware enough to recognise your bitterness as many people don’t. Don’t let it consume you as it can fundamentally change you as a person and infect all relationships. I work off karma I don’t intentionally set out to hurt some one just incase it comes back to bite me on the bum!

Block her.
Even come off facebook so your not tempted to unblock her
Do lots and lots of self care and reading books around this topic.

You will be ok, you will get passed this if you work on it but don’t let him ruin you. Flowers

yearinyearout · 15/02/2021 07:56

You’d have to have an emergency reason for that big a journey,

No you don't. You can drive as far as you like to view a house, also You can have a support bubble anywhere (although in this case she's having two bubbles which isn't within the rules)

brownet · 15/02/2021 07:56

Guidance
You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

NerrSnerr · 15/02/2021 07:58

@Playnoh it's not a childcare bubble though. There's pictures on FB of facepacks etc, that's not permitted in a childcare bubble.

It could be a support bubble if she didn't already have one.

brownet · 15/02/2021 07:58

And yes a childcare bubble involves dropping your kid off & not socialising.

mootymoo · 15/02/2021 07:59

Support bubble I'm guessing, with 2 weeks between you can legitimately change it too

Sarcobaleno · 15/02/2021 07:59

@brownet

Guidance You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

It doesn't matter how far away the parents live. It's not a childcare bubble if she hangs around spending time with them.
yearinyearout · 15/02/2021 07:59

We’re in national lockdown; we aren’t allowed to leave our areas.

Not true. You're "advised" to stay local. There is no law saying your support bubble has to be local, or a defined "local area" we have to stay within. I'm not saying this woman is being sensible driving that far to see her family, but if they were her only bubble she would be within her rights to visit them.

Sarcobaleno · 15/02/2021 07:59

Cross post @brownet

year5teacher · 15/02/2021 08:00

You’re clearly only thinking of doing this because you’re bitter and jealous. It won’t bring you any peace.

Sarcobaleno · 15/02/2021 08:00

@mootymoo

Support bubble I'm guessing, with 2 weeks between you can legitimately change it too
But she's seeing her boyfriend every two weeks so that doesn't work.
Moonstone1234 · 15/02/2021 08:02

These people make me sick. Majority of us following the rules yet this women who seemingly doesn’t work does what she likes.

I hope she does get caught. Not feeling in a good mood this morning either!

Sapho47 · 15/02/2021 08:02

@jazz1995

Also I have just remembered- I have a locked Facebook page. I posted something on there when I was sellling stuff on eBay to be set “just for me” (was easier to post pictures on Facebook to move to laptop) and all my posts were set “just to me” until I changed it to friends. So it’s possible this woman has posted something set to public and hasn’t realised all her posts are public.

And I’m sorry- I don’t know any grown adult stupid enough to post their address on their Facebook page. Hmm

Haha yeah, remember when they used to have those big books with everyone's name and address in.
brownet · 15/02/2021 08:05

It doesn't matter how far away the parents live. It's not a childcare bubble if she hangs around spending time with them.

Exactly & it can't be a support bubble if she is seeing the exh.

Okokokbear · 15/02/2021 08:07

You sound really bitter and jealous. Just concentrate on your own life and let her get on with hers.

Also stop following her on Facebook.

ManCubsMama · 15/02/2021 08:07

No, OP, just No.

You want to report her to get some kind of revenge, not for actual COVID restriction breaking.

Reporting her will make you look very pathetic.

I know you’re feeling rubbish but you need to let go. Don’t be the woman scorned. Everything is a choice... remember E + R = O

Event + Reaction = Outcome

Control your feelings and don’t go down that unhappy road.

Flowers
AStudyinPink · 15/02/2021 08:10

If you do this I think you’ll wake up ashamed.

borageforager · 15/02/2021 08:12

@brownet

Guidance You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

This is guidance, not the law. For reasons best known to themselves the government did not set any limits on distance in law.
brownet · 15/02/2021 08:14

This is guidance, not the law. For reasons best known to themselves the government did not set any limits on distance in law.

probably because individual circumstances will differ.

It is against the law to form a support bubble & not follow the rules.