It's Valentine's. It's a sexy day (for some). And my husband and I were talking about Valentine's past, before we met each other.
My husband had me in stitches telling me about a teenage romance where they were shagging in secret in the girls room, parents happily gardening and thinking the two teens were innocently studying and chastely exchanging lovely cards.
He was vigorously thrusting mid act, went for a position change and neglected to realise there was a heavy wooden shelf above the bed, so whacked his head across the bottom, knocked everything off the shelf in a deafening crash and knocked himself out in the process. He said he recalled a blinding pain, realised he was standing up totally nude, hearing the footsteps of the parents pounding up the stairs, swaying and groaning and heard himself saying "fuck! No!"
Then he remembers being in A&E with a very, very irate girlfriend's Dad who told DH he ruined his Valentine's evening with his wife and he'd spoken to DH's Dad, who was coming to get him. DH went to his Dad's car after having a few stitches and a leaflet about concussion, only to be greeted by his lovely Dad trying to have a Big Chat with him, telling him he ought not to be embarrassed and he understood the passion of Valentine's himself. Cemented this by telling DH that they had not wanted another child, but the Valentine's mood led them to be less cautious and that's why he was born in November, 6 years after his only sibling.
So I'm asking for your funny sex stories!
(Long term poster, not a journalist, not a troll!)