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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

545 replies

Hahaha88 · 14/02/2021 12:53

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
EmergencyHydrangea · 14/02/2021 13:28

Eh, it's not my thing but I don't see the harm in it.

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 14/02/2021 13:29

Not just you. One of the worst for this on my own fb is a very nice lady I know who today is singing the praises of her partner- he’s amazing, he’s wonderful he’s her soulmate, best friend, best father ever... about a month ago she was asking for advice on how to get him to move out. Why? Because he’s an alcoholic man child who refuses to get a job but won’t look after their children so fb friend has to pay out for full time nursery fees while he sits around her house (and it is hers) playing his ps5 (she got it for him for Christmas at his insistence- she got nothing) and verbally abusing her.

And that’s just one example of this gushing Valentine’s Day bollocks being just that, bollocks.

Bloodypunkrockers · 14/02/2021 13:30

@MiaMarshmallows

We are one of those couples. You would probably hate us as posted 3 photos today. Nothing to do with not being happy, we couldn't be happier. We just like to celebrate the day and the love we have for each other.
So why post on Facebook ?
Chailatteplease · 14/02/2021 13:31

YABU. I like seeing happy posts on social media. I think you sound miserable (and every other poster who agrees with you) I also think those of this opinion have shitty relationships and are envious.

☺️

EmergencyHydrangea · 14/02/2021 13:34

So why post on Facebook ?

Why not post on facebook? I don't get the attitude regarding facebook here. If you don't want to see things on Facebook don't look, filter, or unfriend.

Originalusername2021 · 14/02/2021 13:34

Totally agree - only last night me and the OH were discussing how we don’t actually know any couples who are 100% happy in their relationships, I’m completely jaded and miserable - that’s my life experience.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2021 13:34

YABU, it's not the sort of thing I would do but it's lovely to see the flowers, hearts and teddy bears on my news feed. It reminds me of how much I used to look forward to Valentine's day when I was younger.

But why do you need to post on social media to celebrate the day and love you have for each other? I'm not meaning this nastily but do you really think most of the people who see it give a damn?

No-one needs to but they do because it's 2021 and SM is a fairly big part of life for a lot of people and a completely normal part of life for the younger generation.

I'm 51 but I imagine when I was younger, I probably would've posted the same.

Original poster
Hahaha88 · 14/02/2021 13:35

@ItsJackieWeaverBitch

Not just you. One of the worst for this on my own fb is a very nice lady I know who today is singing the praises of her partner- he’s amazing, he’s wonderful he’s her soulmate, best friend, best father ever... about a month ago she was asking for advice on how to get him to move out. Why? Because he’s an alcoholic man child who refuses to get a job but won’t look after their children so fb friend has to pay out for full time nursery fees while he sits around her house (and it is hers) playing his ps5 (she got it for him for Christmas at his insistence- she got nothing) and verbally abusing her.

And that’s just one example of this gushing Valentine’s Day bollocks being just that, bollocks.

Was she asking on fb for the advice on how to get him out?! I actually cannot understand some people
OP posts:
MozzchopsThirty · 14/02/2021 13:37

I have noticed today that there's a lot of

'This time last year I was in a terrible place with someone who made me feel like shit, now I'm lying in bed, watching Netflix eating crumpets happy as can be'

It's been quite refreshing!!!!

I can't stand the gushing!

Chailatteplease · 14/02/2021 13:37

“Thinking further on it, years and years ago I would have posted sickeningly loving posts about my then partner. Now partly that may have been because I was young and stupid, but also deep down I was not happy in the relationship at all. I remember when I ended things people saying to me but you guys were so happy and in love, erm we weren't, but I wanted it to be that we were so I presented it as if we were.”

Ahh, this explains your irritation then. You’re projecting. This wouldn’t be for me, if I was unhappy I wouldn’t claim to be happy. I value my integrity more than that.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 14/02/2021 13:38

@sammylady37

In my experience, the more gushing the social media post, the less secure/successful the relationship! It’s the modern day equivalent of the curse of Hello magazine.
This.

The couples in the most tense relationships I know are always the ones gushing on social media

Russell Kane has done a very funny video on his FB channel today about it Grin

DustyMaiden · 14/02/2021 13:38

All that is on my FB is heart shaped food.

MiaMarshmallows · 14/02/2021 13:40

Exactly, why not post on Facebook? That's what it is there for isn't it not?
We are really happy and want to share this. No crime in that surely?
Age doesn't make a difference either, we are in our fifties. Not just young people who are allowed to be happy and show their love on social media.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 14/02/2021 13:40

@MozzchopsThirty

I have noticed today that there's a lot of

'This time last year I was in a terrible place with someone who made me feel like shit, now I'm lying in bed, watching Netflix eating crumpets happy as can be'

It's been quite refreshing!!!!

I can't stand the gushing!

I could write this kind of status (but won't). 2 years ago I left an emotionally and financially abusive marriage with a cheating shit. We never did Valentine's Day, but every day was essentially crap and I was worn down by a mean and shouty bully. Now every day with just me and the kids is brilliant and I've never had such a good relationship as I do right now with myself Grin
lastqueenofscotland · 14/02/2021 13:41

Yep I think in the main people who do it are insecure.
Of the people I have on Facebook who have made gushy posts this morning

  1. her fiancé is an absolute creature. Manipulative cock lodger.
  2. another on the verge of divorce as she hates her step children
  3. her DP has been consistently unfaithful but she won’t leave as she likes living in his house.

Honestly I think people who plaster that shit on social media are either insecure or just a bit naff. Why do you need to boast about having a human being that likes you in your life? It’s fairly fucking standard issue.
Bragging about mundane shit on social media completely grinds my gears

hammeringinmyhead · 14/02/2021 13:42

I am wincing a bit this year because I have 2 very good friends who don't live with their partners and it does all seem to be a bit on steroids this year.

DH and I had a takeaway on Friday as we thought it would be quieter then than tonight. Grin

Butterbeeeen · 14/02/2021 13:43

I deleted my social media last year. DH had been telling me for years it was detrimental to my mental health as I was always trying to be like other people. I didn't believe him until I deleted it and I am so much happier. I will always remember a post on fb from my neighbours with pics of them in a local posh hotel in a hot tub gushing about how in love they were and how happy they were. We had heard them argue all day that day and at one point had thrown him out. They had cancelled their wedding weeks before due to similar. It made me laugh

EmergencyHydrangea · 14/02/2021 13:44

Jesus Christ, mumsnet is full of miserable buggers. Just let people do their thing

AshMeri · 14/02/2021 13:46

I've not been on FB today either although I have cultivated notifications and feeds over the years so that very few people are left who would post anything like that. Clearly I overlooked one on Instagram as my scrolling came to a halt at some sort of walk through a rose petal trail through a hallway to the kitchen. I didn't wait to see what was at the end of it. I unfollowed. To be fair I hadn't been enjoying her posts for a while so this was the final nail in the coffin.

I mean, there's also something slightly sad about having to sweep up the trail of rose petals with a dustpan and brush (or are they vacuumed). When would you do it? Tomorrow? After dinner?

Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2021 13:46

A certain cleaning guru on Instagram has gone 'all out'. Decorations/helium balloons and huge wrapped gifts and her DH has had flowers delivered to the house. Baby in Valentine's PJs, the lot.
The gushing is fascinating.

Trinacham · 14/02/2021 13:46

Yep. It is really cringey. Every year it is the same ones. I just think, it's all for us. It's not for them. I tell my DH to his face that I love him. I'm guessing the ones who voted YABU are the ones who've done it!

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 14/02/2021 13:46

Was she asking on fb for the advice on how to get him out?! I actually cannot understand some people

Yes, she was although the post could only be seen by a select number of people who she wanted advice from, including me. Hopefully she builds on her self esteem and gets rid of him 🤷‍♀️

IloveFebruary · 14/02/2021 13:47

Love should be celebrated
Sick bucket please.

The worst ones are where they tag each other in the post. FFS. They are probably sitting next to each other on the sofa and yet still feel the need to publicly tag the person just to reinforce the point.

Losers.

Angrymum22 · 14/02/2021 13:48

I have a fab “friend” who used to post everything online and have running conversations with her exDH while they were sing next to each other. Turns out she was having an affair. They split up and she moved in with affair partner. Again major social media flooding with her “new love”. Now she is back to having conversations with new love on Feb while they are sat next to each other. Looks like the writings on the wall.
I got fed up with the constant posts so hid her years ago. Will have some entertainment later looking at her posts.

PinkBuffalo · 14/02/2021 13:48

I like seeing my friends on social media being happy I like seeing their nice presents/meals and seeing them happy
I just by my own, I do not begrudge anyone else that happiness