To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

[Hahaha88]

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've always been suspicious of the
You're being horrible. They just wanted to
"Share Something Nice"

Really?
How in any shape or form is sharing a picture of something nice that happened to YOU bringing anything at all to the people you're sharing it with?
You are not sharing something nice with other people.
Something nice happened to YOU and you want to tell other people a out it.
You are not adding to their lives.

At least be to honest.
It's cringe and sick bucket worthy.

I received a dozen red roses and a piece of beautiful jewellery but I had zero we'd to post pics online.
People are strange.

@Figarill

Are you still astonished *@LouJ85*?

Yes.

I am utterly astonished that there are people in the world who disagree with (ie. are unaware of) the basics of cognitive and social psychology - and how individual perception hugely influences how we interpret anything we see or hear.

But I've studied human and social psychology for 17 years so... guess that's where our differences in understanding come from.

It's just people using their subjective perceptions as the benchmark and looking down on anyone who sets the bar in a different place.

I'm glad someone understands the concept of subjective perception.

Ok. You implied that most people would agree with your hierarchy of "cringe / boastful" that you laid out there. I personally find that arrogant.

So you did make a mistake when you accused me of Is calling me arrogant your form of an apology.

So you did make a mistake when you accused me of speaking for everyone. Is calling me arrogant your form of an apology?

@Figarill

Ok. You implied that most people would agree with your hierarchy of "cringe / boastful" that you laid out there. I personally find that arrogant.

So you did make a mistake when you accused me of Is calling me arrogant your form of an apology.

Not an apology.
It's an expression of my perception of your comment.

But I've studied human and social psychology for 17 years so...

Wow that was a waste!

They don't exist! You can't use them to make a point!

Very arrogant.

Look post what you like but people will always find braggy & cringey posts braggy & cringey & you can't change their minds.

And... just because I perceive it as arrogant that you assume "most people" would agree with your viewpoint, I recognise that others reading the same comment may disagree with me. Because that's how human perception of what appears on the internet works. We're all different.

@likeamillpond

I've always been suspicious of the You're being horrible. They just wanted to "Share Something Nice"

Really?
How in any shape or form is sharing a picture of something nice that happened to YOU bringing anything at all to the people you're sharing it with?
You are not sharing something nice with other people.
Something nice happened to YOU and you want to tell other people a out it.
You are not adding to their lives.

At least be to honest.
It's cringe and sick bucket worthy.

I received a dozen red roses and a piece of beautiful jewellery but I had zero we'd to post pics online.
People are strange.

But you sure wanted us to know, right? More than that, you also wanted us to know that you didn't want anyone to know!

I can't believe you don't see the disconnect between the first three paras and then the next one. To be fair, you're far from the first poster to wax lyrical about how disgusting it is to tell everyone you're in love and how you did VD, and finish by telling us about how you're in love and how you did VD.

Some people, sometimes, are happy and want the world to know. They are not generally thinking of any particular person, they just have something good going on and they want it generally visible. Never heard lines like "I want the world to know" in songs?

If you've never had that experience, well, you're not superior for it. It's a common human experience. You'll have to trust me.

Wow that was a waste!

🤣
Yes. Huge waste, working and studying for 17 years to secure a really well paid career to support my daughter.

Huge, huge waste.

Look post what you like but people will always find braggy & cringey posts braggy & cringey & you can't change their minds.

Who is "their"?
The people on my SM, as I've repeatedly said, are my family and friends, and therefore they are generally happy when I'm happy; and vice versa. I wouldn't continue to have anyone on my SM who viewed me (or indeed I them) with such negativity as has been expressed on here. So I don't need to worry about "changing anyone's mind", luckily.

*Some people, sometimes, are happy and want the world to know. They are not generally thinking of any particular person, they just have something good going on and they want it generally visible. Never heard lines like "I want the world to know" in songs?

If you've never had that experience, well, you're not superior for it. It's a common human experience. You'll have to trust me.*

This. All of this.

@Figarill

But I've studied human and social psychology for 17 years so...

Wow that was a waste!

They don't exist! You can't use them to make a point!

Very arrogant.

Look post what you like but people will always find braggy & cringey posts braggy & cringey & you can't change their minds.

"Arrogant" doesn't mean what you think it means, but ok.

So when you mentioned, and I quote, "couple 3: posts a picture of 1000 red roses with diamond tips & a huge cake on the top of a red Bentley" and "a thesis on why their partner who isn't on FB is so amazing", that wasn't hyperbole? You literally saw that online and didn't make it up? So it's actually a real life, real world example that I'm supposed to take seriously?

How in any shape or form is sharing a picture of something nice that happened to YOU bringing anything at all to the people you're sharing it with?
You are not sharing something nice with other people.
Something nice happened to YOU and you want to tell other people a out it.
You are not adding to their lives.

I genuinely think this is the saddest thing I've read. My life is added to and enriched when those I care about are doing well / feeling happy and expressing it. I can't imagine being unable to ever be emotionally touched by the happiness of others, especially those I care about.

But you sure wanted us to know, right? More than that, you also wanted us to know that you didn't want anyone to know!

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

The irony pains me.

couple 3: posts a picture of 1000 red roses with diamond tips & a huge cake on the top of a red Bentley"

Christ. I was short changed this Valentines if this is what others are getting.

I remember seeing a meme once that said “the best relationships are the ones you don’t know about” in other words they are kept private. They are the ones I believe are the happiest.

What an incredibly inaccurate sweeping generalisation. Have you heard of abusive and controlling relationships where women are not even permitted by their partner to have a social media account? Where they are terrified to confide in anyone about their relationship for fear of the repercussions? No one knows much about those relationships, either. They certainly aren't the "happiest", are they?

Posting or not on SM about your relationship is literally a useless indicator of your level of true happiness, or not. There are a myriad of reasons why a happy person posts on FB other than unhappiness; and equally there are a myriad of reasons why an unhappy person does not post on FB.

I just came back to the last two pages of this thread and have a headache starting now.
Social media is a waste of time ( I read somewhere people spend two hours a day on it) and posting pics is to get an ego boost however you dress it up. 90% of the people on there don’t even know you properly and are acquaintances. Real friends exist in real life and you should use that 2 hours to talk to them.
People that put lovely dovey pics up are showboating or insecure and need validation from the masses. Each to their own and good luck to them. Come off Facebook and you never have to see them again - it’s wonderful! The end

"How in any shape or form is sharing a picture of something nice that happened to YOU bringing anything at all to the people you're sharing it with?
You are not sharing something nice with other people.
Something nice happened to YOU and you want to tell other people a out it.
You are not adding to their lives.

I agree with a pp that this is an awfully disconnected and inhuman response. I see the same sort of sentiment expressed a lot on here about "no one cares" about your wedding or the birth of your child or anything else you might wish to post about. It's not my experience. I love a wedding, a birth, good exam or new job news on my social media feed. It genuinely brightens my day. Even valentine's day posts - I agree they have the potential to be bittersweet if you're feeling unhappy with your own relationship or lack thereof but they still offer hope and a reminder that there are good relationships out there and they are worth celebrating and striving for.

I realise it's not very British to publically celebrate one's own successes and social media has brought about changes in what's socially acceptable at quite a rapid pace but actually I am learning to appreciate that it's a good skill to have - to be able to say "I am really happy/proud/pleased about something" without shame or fear of ridicule . It's surely a healthier response to think "good for them, perhaps I can aspire to that too" rather than "what a show off, I bet it's all lies and they are crying into their pillow really".

I'm also a bit suspicious of "real life friends are people you see in real life". I have online friends I share an awful lot of intimacies with - certainly more than various people I know irl but never get beyond small talk with - and generally it's distance and lockdown that stop us getting together regularly rather than the fact we have nothing in common and no affection for each other. Why the assumption that everyone hates everyone on their social media?

Totally agree that the couples who are often the most gushing/outwardly affectionate on social media tend to be the most unhappy/unstable behind closed doors. Every single couple I've known who constantly boasted about each other ended up splitting up. Every single one.

@longestlurkerever

"*How in any shape or form is sharing a picture of something nice that happened to YOU bringing anything at all to the people you're sharing it with? You are not sharing something nice with other people. Something nice happened to YOU and you want to tell other people a out it. You are not adding to their lives.*

I agree with a pp that this is an awfully disconnected and inhuman response. I see the same sort of sentiment expressed a lot on here about "no one cares" about your wedding or the birth of your child or anything else you might wish to post about. It's not my experience. I love a wedding, a birth, good exam or new job news on my social media feed. It genuinely brightens my day. Even valentine's day posts - I agree they have the potential to be bittersweet if you're feeling unhappy with your own relationship or lack thereof but they still offer hope and a reminder that there are good relationships out there and they are worth celebrating and striving for.

I realise it's not very British to publically celebrate one's own successes and social media has brought about changes in what's socially acceptable at quite a rapid pace but actually I am learning to appreciate that it's a good skill to have - to be able to say "I am really happy/proud/pleased about something" without shame or fear of ridicule . It's surely a healthier response to think "good for them, perhaps I can aspire to that too" rather than "what a show off, I bet it's all lies and they are crying into their pillow really".

I'm also a bit suspicious of "real life friends are people you see in real life". I have online friends I share an awful lot of intimacies with - certainly more than various people I know irl but never get beyond small talk with - and generally it's distance and lockdown that stop us getting together regularly rather than the fact we have nothing in common and no affection for each other. Why the assumption that everyone hates everyone on their social media?

Excellent, spot on post.

I'm also a bit suspicious of "real life friends are people you see in real life". I have online friends I share an awful lot of intimacies with - certainly more than various people I know irl but never get beyond small talk with - and generally it's distance and lockdown that stop us getting together regularly rather than the fact we have nothing in common and no affection for each other. Why the assumption that everyone hates everyone on their social media?

I meant real friends as in the ones you actually share your intimacies with not Bob from accounts. If you have real friends online why don’t you pick up the phone - surely Instagram, Facebook etc aren’t a way to communicate intimacies with them ??? Or do you mean on mn or other forums - which are forms of sm but not what we are talking about here . Also who said anything about hating people on sm, I just referenced most aren’t proper friends.

Also who said anything about hating people on sm, I just referenced most aren’t proper friends.

How are you able to judge whether everyone's SM contacts aren't "proper friends"? They might not be on your SM. But you're not the same as everyone in the world.

*I am learning to appreciate that it's a good skill to have - to be able to say "I am really happy/proud/pleased about something" without shame or fear of ridicule . It's surely a healthier response to think "good for them, perhaps I can aspire to that too" rather than "what a show off, I bet it's all lies and they are crying into their pillow really".

*
I love this. So true.

Oh ffs. There's nothing at all wrong with keeping your Facebook circle to people with whom you're close, but it's very normal, more common, to have it open to a wider bunch. It's no longer a weird new thing. You know how it works, stop pretending it's 2005 with all this "ooh, they're not all true friends" stuff. Nobody who has 300 "friends", as FB calls them (what word would you suggest?) pretends that they're close bosom buddies with all of them. It's just a connection and communication method and you opt in to what you choose to see.