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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lodger eviction update

229 replies

Hellogoodpeople · 14/02/2021 11:48

I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice in my last thread about some lodger issues I'd been having.

This included long running issues with one being generally slightly hostile in the full two years she's lived with me, the second lodger being upset that she doesn't have a full floor to herself (which I never gave the impression she'd have and she's paying a standard room rate, not full floor rent), overhearing general bitching and moaning about me and the cat, and then culminating with one lodger being completely livid (shouting and literally snarling at me) for siting at the kitchen table for a quick chat to a recruiter. (For context I sit there once in the blue moon but she felt this should be space reserved for her and the other lodger due to the fact that I have an additional work from home space and don't pay rent)... While I don't pay rent - in the flat that I own - I obviously pay the mortgage, bills and expenses.

The bitching and moaning about me that I partially overheard was apparently just about me sitting at the kitchen table that one time. But the fact that they were comfortable launching straight into a vitriolic moan about me, made me suspect they've had a couple of conversations like this before. For context, I'd say I'm fairly easy to live with. I don't have house rules and I'm fairly friendly and supportive. It's always been important to me that the lodgers feel comfortable in my home and that it is also their home.

Unfortunately when I posted the thread, someone thought I was a troll (due to someone not believing that one of my lodgers would tell me about being in a deposit dispute with her previous landlord and the reason why) and mumset deleted the thread. They've since realised I'm not a troll (I'm a regular poster but changed my user name for this thread) but I requested for the original thread to remain deleted as it contained personal details.

However, I wanted to post an update and say thank you for the feedback and also to the person who posted the assertiveness booklet which I've been reading and have found useful.

So for my update... a couple of days after I created the thread I did give both lodgers notice. I do feel a bit sad about the second lodger leaving as I mostly enjoyed having her stay. But I'd just reached my tolerance limit with the first one and felt I should ask both to leave especially as they have become close.

It's been a little frosty, especially with the first lodger (the one who told me not to sit at the kitchen table) but so far so good.

There has been a bit of oddness which I'd usually brush off but I'm now reading a bit of an eff-you to me (shutting themselves in the kitchen with loud music, leaving oil or something similar on the kitchen floor, smearing some sort of red paint on the kitchen floor and cat mat this morning, making a bit of noise outside my room first thing in the morning etc...) but I've decided to ignore and count down the days until they go.

When I gave them notice, I didn't mention anything at all about their behaviour as a reason. I kept it all quite positive and told them that unfortunately I need to isolate to help out my sick mum at short notice. This is true, and she is possibly looking at surgery soon. But the fact that neither of them have actually asked how my mum is (especially the one who has been with me for a while and who I've been really supportive of over the years), has also made me realise I made the right decision.

Most of you recommended for me to give them two weeks notice but in the end I have them a month... so hopefully not too much drama over that time.

Anyway, that's my update. I'm not a troll and I've taken everyone's advice. Smile Life is too short of a frosty home environment, especially when you can't actually go anywhere for the foreseeable. But onwards and upwards. Smile

OP posts:
TakeMe2Insanity · 17/02/2021 19:35

Well done!

Cadent · 17/02/2021 20:07

But honestly, because she's been so strange, both before and after getting notice, my gut feeling tells me she's cooking something up. So I wouldn't be surprised if I'm also reported for odd things after she moves out. But there's nothing I can think of to report me for, so I wish her luck with that!

Let's hope she's acting strange because she's realised she's overplayed her hand and lost a cushy deal.

BlobbyYouTwat · 17/02/2021 20:15

Check your curtain hems/poles for prawns.

I did that to my evil sex pest ex landlord who used to try to get into bed with me.

Cattermole · 17/02/2021 20:45

@BlobbyYouTwat

Check your curtain hems/poles for prawns.

I did that to my evil sex pest ex landlord who used to try to get into bed with me.

Reckon the cat would clock on to that first, Blobby...

In my day it was unsolicited pizza delivery and signing people up for catalogues. That said, OP, if your friends there have been good enough to gift you with a forwarding address....

Hellogoodpeople · 17/02/2021 23:18

@BlobbyYouTwat

Check your curtain hems/poles for prawns.

I did that to my evil sex pest ex landlord who used to try to get into bed with me.

Shock 😱 😂

Oh gawd! 😂 But kudos for having the imagination to think of that!

OP posts:
justilou1 · 17/02/2021 23:23

There are a few old threads on here with great revenge ideas on exes. I'd stay off those because you'd never sleep. (Think coming home after a weekend away to find the heating on and every fabric surface a sea of sprouting watercress.....)

cakewench · 18/02/2021 00:04

Thanks for coming back to update, OP! I’m so glad you’ve given them their notice.

Jobseeker19 · 18/02/2021 10:15

@justilou1

There are a few old threads on here with great revenge ideas on exes. I'd stay off those because you'd never sleep. (Think coming home after a weekend away to find the heating on and every fabric surface a sea of sprouting watercress.....)
Ohhh, what threads are they?
justilou1 · 18/02/2021 11:38

Just look up revenge in advanced search and you’ll find them

Hellogoodpeople · 03/03/2021 17:03

One last update... both lodgers have now left and deposits returned, so thankful for a little less stress.

The short-term one cause a bit of damage - a cracked or scratched tile (I'm not sure which) in the newly tiled shower and a crack in the chest of drawers. The same lodger also stabbed a frying pan so hard the knife snapped in half and just before she left, she slammed the skylight shut so hard it made the walls shake in the next room. :( (And I subsequently found a big plaster crack in the window frame).

The other one also left without paying the last of her rent.

But drama over (hopefully) and I'm looking forward to a happier home! :)

Thanks again for the good advice from everyone. I've appreciated it!

OP posts:
Palava57 · 03/03/2021 17:16

I’m so glad they have gone and you have your peaceful home back 😊 but wonder at the return of the deposits given the damage & unpaid rent?

BeenHereForAges · 03/03/2021 17:17

Congratulations OP! Now go and make a coffee/tea or whatever and sit at your own table to enjoy it. Im very happy for you to have your home back. Well done you!

LaurieFairyCake · 03/03/2021 17:28

Why did you give one her deposit back when she owed you rent Shock

Really glad you have peace again Thanks

Do you need to change the locks in case those fuckers come back ?

SugarfreeBlitz · 03/03/2021 17:35

Thanks for the update. How long til they leave finally?

Hope your cat is ok and that you're feeling stronger for taking a stand Flowers

GabsAlot · 03/03/2021 17:35

why would you give a deposit back when she hadnt paid you for the month

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:38

So hope you get them out soon!

LoudestCat14 · 03/03/2021 17:38

@Hellogoodpeople

One last update... both lodgers have now left and deposits returned, so thankful for a little less stress.

The short-term one cause a bit of damage - a cracked or scratched tile (I'm not sure which) in the newly tiled shower and a crack in the chest of drawers. The same lodger also stabbed a frying pan so hard the knife snapped in half and just before she left, she slammed the skylight shut so hard it made the walls shake in the next room. :( (And I subsequently found a big plaster crack in the window frame).

The other one also left without paying the last of her rent.

But drama over (hopefully) and I'm looking forward to a happier home! :)

Thanks again for the good advice from everyone. I've appreciated it!

I'm glad it's worked out but you're a better person than me for returning Lodger 1's deposit after all the damage she caused!
rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:47

I would have given them FA of their deposit.

I really hope you can become more assertive before taking more lodgers.

braceletsandbangles · 03/03/2021 17:50

Oh I do hope they need a lodger reference in the future Wink

cabingirl · 03/03/2021 18:10

I hope you've changed your locks. Might sound a bit paranoid but you never know.

SqeakyHindge · 03/03/2021 18:18

Glad they finally left, I can part understand giving deposits back just to end the nightmare, but in no way the should of got it for damage and missed rent.

Definitely agree about changing the locks

Well done on standing your ground and getting your home back

Hope your mum is ok too

StoneofDestiny · 03/03/2021 18:27

You do not want them coming back to get the deposit, so ensure you have an address for a cheque or bank details to pay it into, and definitely don’t want to give into any pressure to return the deposit before they are gone from the premises and you have a chance to value anything that needs deductions.

WindmillWendy · 03/03/2021 19:08

Good riddance OP. Please remember to change the locks!!

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 03/03/2021 19:15

Yeah! - glad that you and your cat have peace again - enjoy!

Dartsplayer · 03/03/2021 19:16

Good riddance to them. Enjoy your peaceful home with your cat. I am shocked though that you returned deposits to the CFs when they caused damaged and didn't pay rent

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