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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lodger eviction update

229 replies

Hellogoodpeople · 14/02/2021 11:48

I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice in my last thread about some lodger issues I'd been having.

This included long running issues with one being generally slightly hostile in the full two years she's lived with me, the second lodger being upset that she doesn't have a full floor to herself (which I never gave the impression she'd have and she's paying a standard room rate, not full floor rent), overhearing general bitching and moaning about me and the cat, and then culminating with one lodger being completely livid (shouting and literally snarling at me) for siting at the kitchen table for a quick chat to a recruiter. (For context I sit there once in the blue moon but she felt this should be space reserved for her and the other lodger due to the fact that I have an additional work from home space and don't pay rent)... While I don't pay rent - in the flat that I own - I obviously pay the mortgage, bills and expenses.

The bitching and moaning about me that I partially overheard was apparently just about me sitting at the kitchen table that one time. But the fact that they were comfortable launching straight into a vitriolic moan about me, made me suspect they've had a couple of conversations like this before. For context, I'd say I'm fairly easy to live with. I don't have house rules and I'm fairly friendly and supportive. It's always been important to me that the lodgers feel comfortable in my home and that it is also their home.

Unfortunately when I posted the thread, someone thought I was a troll (due to someone not believing that one of my lodgers would tell me about being in a deposit dispute with her previous landlord and the reason why) and mumset deleted the thread. They've since realised I'm not a troll (I'm a regular poster but changed my user name for this thread) but I requested for the original thread to remain deleted as it contained personal details.

However, I wanted to post an update and say thank you for the feedback and also to the person who posted the assertiveness booklet which I've been reading and have found useful.

So for my update... a couple of days after I created the thread I did give both lodgers notice. I do feel a bit sad about the second lodger leaving as I mostly enjoyed having her stay. But I'd just reached my tolerance limit with the first one and felt I should ask both to leave especially as they have become close.

It's been a little frosty, especially with the first lodger (the one who told me not to sit at the kitchen table) but so far so good.

There has been a bit of oddness which I'd usually brush off but I'm now reading a bit of an eff-you to me (shutting themselves in the kitchen with loud music, leaving oil or something similar on the kitchen floor, smearing some sort of red paint on the kitchen floor and cat mat this morning, making a bit of noise outside my room first thing in the morning etc...) but I've decided to ignore and count down the days until they go.

When I gave them notice, I didn't mention anything at all about their behaviour as a reason. I kept it all quite positive and told them that unfortunately I need to isolate to help out my sick mum at short notice. This is true, and she is possibly looking at surgery soon. But the fact that neither of them have actually asked how my mum is (especially the one who has been with me for a while and who I've been really supportive of over the years), has also made me realise I made the right decision.

Most of you recommended for me to give them two weeks notice but in the end I have them a month... so hopefully not too much drama over that time.

Anyway, that's my update. I'm not a troll and I've taken everyone's advice. Smile Life is too short of a frosty home environment, especially when you can't actually go anywhere for the foreseeable. But onwards and upwards. Smile

OP posts:
MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 14/02/2021 15:25

Obviously I dont know you but well done, proud of you! It's so good when people follow advice on here and stick up for themselves. Hope things go smoothly from here.

Cattermole · 14/02/2021 15:31

OP, just a thought about the nail varnish and the oil.
My mum spilt some oil on a laminate kitchen floor, cleaned it up, but had quite a nasty fall on the leftovers/debris: it remained slippy for some while. I would not like to think it was a sort of childish practical joke that you might be meant to slip on it.
Likewise paint/nail varnish. Amazing how far little cat paddy-paws can track a mess. Ho ho ho, how amusing - not.

Cattermole · 14/02/2021 15:33

Cross posted there, evidently suspicious minds think alike :-)

HappyasLaura · 14/02/2021 15:37

I haven’t read the full thread so sorry if my advice has been given upthread but I did read your last one.
I recommend that you document everything between now and when they leave, photograph any red paint (perhaps video it with commentary), document unreasonable loud music in the kitchen, outside your bedroom etc. I imagine you’re the sort that will give them back their full deposits for an easy life but don't rule out not doing do, especially if there is actual damage done to your property. But document it all, even if there is no actual damage, gives you a strong case, should you need it.
Good luck.

AntiHop · 14/02/2021 15:41

Well done op. You deserve to be comfortable in your own home.

Once they have gone, I'd text them the real reason. They need to know that actions have consequences.

SeaShoreGalore · 14/02/2021 15:45

Good luck with getting them gone - living in a bad atmosphere is horrible!

crazylikechocolate · 14/02/2021 15:52

I would put your cat in a cattery until they have gone , honestly they sound really spiteful and you sound sweet and quite naive as to how nasty some people can be , mattress etc can be replaced but not your cat , please take care

ItIsMyName · 14/02/2021 15:53

I think you should get a new lock so you can change it as soon as they leave!

Lady089 · 14/02/2021 15:56

Sounds like you made the right decision, no one should be treating you the way they are in your own home.
Good luck and enjoy the house again with just you and your cat!

DNHandTNS · 14/02/2021 16:04

Suspicious minds all right @Cattermole Grin I speak from experience as I've lived with some right nutters !
Kudos to the person who said watch the cat. I'd actually be really careful for the next month. I think a month is a long time to watch your back, but please be careful and document anything troubling.

So pleased for you that the days are counting down OP

mumwon · 14/02/2021 16:07

my last tenant (from hell could have been on those programs - I kid you not the stuff she abandoned & yes we gave her ages to clear with warning date- we had skips & the filth - shudders) left nail polish marks on the radiators. It was actually not that difficult to get off - try scraping the edge of it with a flat edged thing (old bank card) gently you may find it comes off as nail polish layers on top.

Maybeoneday20 · 14/02/2021 16:08

Really glad you have told them to go. They both sounded awful. Do make sure you warn them about the deposit (in writing if possible by sending a message).
Also, you might want to consider getting your lock changed when they've left just as a precautionary measure (but I am a paranoid soul!)

Staffy1 · 14/02/2021 16:13

Pity we won't know what happens to the lodgers after they move out. I think they are in for a rude shock if they try the same behaviour as lodgers with a lot of other landlords.

DoItAfraid · 14/02/2021 16:14

Well done OP.

One last thing please do formally notify them of this:

"Well done but remind them they are there under a licence agreement and any continued comments or damage will change the extremely reasonable months notice to immediate request to leave."

You may have been able to get the red stuff out but next time it might be something different.

Please just state this so that it's upfront. The atmosphere is already chilly so you dont even have to worry about that now - just do it today and then it's done.

GreySkyClouds · 14/02/2021 16:23

Thank you for the update.

morninglive · 14/02/2021 16:28

putting oil on the floor is dangerous, so I would nip that in the bud with your newly found assertiveness.

remind them of the risk of losing their deposit and good luck for the future.

DrinkSnackRepeat · 14/02/2021 16:29

Any chance we can have the link to the assertiveness booklet again since the last post was deleted? I sure could use it.

ScribblingPixie · 14/02/2021 16:30

Ah, when I saw the title of the thread on Active I hoped it was you. Good for you, very glad this will be over for you soon and good luck with finding much nicer lodgers (be sure to keep your nicest bedroom and some private space for yourself next time).

Ohnomoreno · 14/02/2021 16:33

I'm quite worried for you. They are I think going to ramp up the nasty behaviour if this is only a few days in. Still, fingers crossed you can put it all behind you.

Sorka · 14/02/2021 16:38

So glad to have you back OP and to hear that you’ve given them notice. I can’t get over how entitled people are. Why on earth do they think they out rank you in your own home and why would anyone deliberate damage others property? I just don’t get people like that. I bet you can’t wait until they’re gone.

Let’s hope @mnhq manage to stay away from the delete button this time. I’ve no idea why someone thought your last thread was posted by a troll or why MNHQ went along with it.

thosetalesofunexpected · 14/02/2021 16:41

@Hellogoodpeople

Also make Sure Any of your Personal Sentimental and Valuable ornaments and Any Other stuff,(Possessions) of Yours op.
Is Safety Locked, or Put somewhere safe from these Arseholes Nurses Lodgers of yours op.

As they are so Spiteful,Nasty people, they Could deliberately damage/or Steal Any of your personal Possessions.

Do this straight away/As soon as Possible.!

I do not Trust these Nurses at All.

chillied · 14/02/2021 16:47

I read your first thread and rooted for you but didn't realise you'd been deleted.

When is move-out day so we can all celebrate with you?

Betaalpha · 14/02/2021 16:47

Well done op. You were clearly being abused. It's your home your rules, don't let this happen to you again. Life is short and not feeling comfortable in your home is not worth it. Please take care of yourself. Don't give all their deposit back because you can say you'll need to clean their room and the floor. The nurse sounds horrific.

thosetalesofunexpected · 14/02/2021 16:53

@Hellogoodpeople

Make Sure any of your Photo Albums and Family ones are put safety locked away from these Nurses op.

I really do not trust them.

These Nurses are obviously trying to undermine you,and sabotage your New found Cofindence op.

Mia184 · 14/02/2021 16:57

OP, I’d make sure that they are not alone with your cat. They sound vile.