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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lodger eviction update

229 replies

Hellogoodpeople · 14/02/2021 11:48

I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice in my last thread about some lodger issues I'd been having.

This included long running issues with one being generally slightly hostile in the full two years she's lived with me, the second lodger being upset that she doesn't have a full floor to herself (which I never gave the impression she'd have and she's paying a standard room rate, not full floor rent), overhearing general bitching and moaning about me and the cat, and then culminating with one lodger being completely livid (shouting and literally snarling at me) for siting at the kitchen table for a quick chat to a recruiter. (For context I sit there once in the blue moon but she felt this should be space reserved for her and the other lodger due to the fact that I have an additional work from home space and don't pay rent)... While I don't pay rent - in the flat that I own - I obviously pay the mortgage, bills and expenses.

The bitching and moaning about me that I partially overheard was apparently just about me sitting at the kitchen table that one time. But the fact that they were comfortable launching straight into a vitriolic moan about me, made me suspect they've had a couple of conversations like this before. For context, I'd say I'm fairly easy to live with. I don't have house rules and I'm fairly friendly and supportive. It's always been important to me that the lodgers feel comfortable in my home and that it is also their home.

Unfortunately when I posted the thread, someone thought I was a troll (due to someone not believing that one of my lodgers would tell me about being in a deposit dispute with her previous landlord and the reason why) and mumset deleted the thread. They've since realised I'm not a troll (I'm a regular poster but changed my user name for this thread) but I requested for the original thread to remain deleted as it contained personal details.

However, I wanted to post an update and say thank you for the feedback and also to the person who posted the assertiveness booklet which I've been reading and have found useful.

So for my update... a couple of days after I created the thread I did give both lodgers notice. I do feel a bit sad about the second lodger leaving as I mostly enjoyed having her stay. But I'd just reached my tolerance limit with the first one and felt I should ask both to leave especially as they have become close.

It's been a little frosty, especially with the first lodger (the one who told me not to sit at the kitchen table) but so far so good.

There has been a bit of oddness which I'd usually brush off but I'm now reading a bit of an eff-you to me (shutting themselves in the kitchen with loud music, leaving oil or something similar on the kitchen floor, smearing some sort of red paint on the kitchen floor and cat mat this morning, making a bit of noise outside my room first thing in the morning etc...) but I've decided to ignore and count down the days until they go.

When I gave them notice, I didn't mention anything at all about their behaviour as a reason. I kept it all quite positive and told them that unfortunately I need to isolate to help out my sick mum at short notice. This is true, and she is possibly looking at surgery soon. But the fact that neither of them have actually asked how my mum is (especially the one who has been with me for a while and who I've been really supportive of over the years), has also made me realise I made the right decision.

Most of you recommended for me to give them two weeks notice but in the end I have them a month... so hopefully not too much drama over that time.

Anyway, that's my update. I'm not a troll and I've taken everyone's advice. Smile Life is too short of a frosty home environment, especially when you can't actually go anywhere for the foreseeable. But onwards and upwards. Smile

OP posts:
toddlermom · 14/02/2021 12:34

Well done you!! That must feel great to know they are leaving and that you have done the right thing.
Especially if neither have even asked about your mum! They are behaving horribly and so glad that they will be gone!! Onwards and upwards!!

1Morewineplease · 14/02/2021 12:34

Great to hear your positive outcome!

Roadtohades · 14/02/2021 12:38

Well done! Hope they don't do any damage before they go, but if so, withhold the deposits. And if by any chance there is serious damage, threaten them with the police (and go to the police, if necessary). They both sound like a nasty piece of work and you will be well rid of them. Flowers Thank you for the update.

Maireas · 14/02/2021 12:39

Welcome back and thanks for the update.
You really have been very kind and patient - hood luck to them finding another landlord so tolerant and accommodating. Keep your eye out for any damage, and conceal anything valuable. Obviously change the locks on the day of the move.
Good luck!

Osirus · 14/02/2021 12:43

They’ve been shits but I think a month, in the real world, is perfectly fair and reasonable for someone to find a new home.

I hope they go peacefully, and I wouldn’t relax until they’ve gone.

Best of luck - enjoy your new freedom!

isitsafetocomeoutyet · 14/02/2021 12:44

So glad you're ok.

And yay to the notice.

I don't know if it's possible (perhaps a wiser mnetter can advise) but I would write a letter stating if there is any damage to your property before they move out the one month notice is rescinded and they have to move out immediately/whenever is legally allowed.

You've been more than generous. Don't let them mess you around.

I'll be waiting for the celebratory gin/tea when you get your home back.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 14/02/2021 12:44

If they've previously moaned about the cat and you're now finding stuff smeared near its mat (feeding area?) then I'd keep a very close eye on that. Is it worth thinking about a cheap camera for the kitchen - might come in useful for any more damage and deposit issues.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/02/2021 12:47

From what you've mentioed about these appalling people.... I can imagine they're likely to cause intentional damage/upset...

I'd deffo send them a text/mail along those lines upthread...

Something like :

Can I remind you both of you any messes/intentional damage to my house/property can be deducted from your deposits. The return of the full deposit is conditional.

I'd add something like... 'to help you, I've given you both a month's notice, I don't have legally to do this, as you are both lodgers and could ask you to leave immediately.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 14/02/2021 12:50

Don't let them be in any doubt that you can do this.

Don't let these people get away with any more shitty treatment of you.

I'd also change the barrel of the lock once they've gone

CaraDuneRedux · 14/02/2021 12:51

Good stuff, OP. Glad you found a way of doing it that made it non-confrontational (always for the best in the long run, however tempting it may be sometimes to yell "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!")

Go for the passive aggressive "Oops, someone spilled oil on the kitchen floor the other day, just to let you know, I bought in some extra rolls of kitchen towel to deal with accidents," PA-smile-and-head-tilt. Don't accuse them directly of doing it deliberately (even if you know they are.)

ScrapThatThen · 14/02/2021 12:53

Politely (assertively) ask for the red mess to be cleaned up and state that if it's not you will consider deducting the cost of cleaning. Be polite and courteous at all times and put any requests in writing. Well done.

Eleganz · 14/02/2021 12:55

OP, strongly suggest you get proper agreements drawn up next time you take in lodgers (I am assuming that you didn't have them in place as you seem to not have an agreed notice period). As such, do you have any agreements on deposits and damages in place?

BlueThistles · 14/02/2021 12:55

well done for Ending the Tenancy OP ... and if they do damage anything ... keep the deposit to repair/replace the damage.

Make a list of the red paint the oil spills.. all of it...

they sound nasty 🌺

StellaDendrite · 14/02/2021 12:55

That’s a good update. I’d have done the same.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 14/02/2021 12:56

Glad you are getting rid of them. I did raise an eyebrow when the thread got deleted so I'm happy you've come back to update.

pasturesgreen · 14/02/2021 12:56

So glad to hear you gave them notice! (Although YAB a bit U to have given a month, two weeks would have been more than enough).

As many others have already said, warn them about damages to property, and work on your assertiveness in case they're staying put at the end of the month.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 14/02/2021 13:00

thanks for the update - hope that the month goes by speedily and smoothly.
Hope your cat is OK; he'll be relieved to see the back of them too.

Wait until they need a reference for their next rental to exact revenge.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 14/02/2021 13:01

Hope their 3xit goes smoothly. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

safariboot · 14/02/2021 13:02

Good one.

To those saying a month is generous - reasonable notice is usually equal to the rent payment period, so if they pay rent monthly then a month's notice is normal. Their behaviour would have to be way worse than it so far is to justify immediate eviction.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 14/02/2021 13:02

on the red paint - oil spills, etc, Just tell them that if they don't clear up after themselves, they can leave at the end of the week.

2021Sunshine · 14/02/2021 13:04

Well done but remind them they are there under a licence agreement and any continued comments or damage will change the extremely reasonable months notice to immediate request to leave.

FelicityPike · 14/02/2021 13:07

@2021Sunshine

Well done but remind them they are there under a licence agreement and any continued comments or damage will change the extremely reasonable months notice to immediate request to leave.
Absolutely this! Glad to read your update but try and stop them walking all over you and ruining your home!!
JetBlackSteed · 14/02/2021 13:07

Thanks for the update, I have been wondering about you.

Well done on giving notice, now you just need to casually mention that deposits can be retained to pay for damage.

rawalpindithelabrador · 14/02/2021 13:07

Please don't get any more lodgers until you do some serious work on your assertiveness. You are still allowing them to walk all over you - loud music and stuff. I'd loose my shit and tell them to STFU. And they are damaging your property and should only have had 2 weeks. The fuck they'd been getting the deposit back or a good reference. These two cunts could seriously damage your property between now and then or harm your cat.

I'd have thrown them out for doing that to my cat's bad. WTF?! Fucking cunts, taking it out on an innocent animal!

HildegardNightingale · 14/02/2021 13:09

Good for you. Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable in their own home.

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