Lodger eviction update

[Hellogoodpeople]

I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice in my last thread about some lodger issues I'd been having.

This included long running issues with one being generally slightly hostile in the full two years she's lived with me, the second lodger being upset that she doesn't have a full floor to herself (which I never gave the impression she'd have and she's paying a standard room rate, not full floor rent), overhearing general bitching and moaning about me and the cat, and then culminating with one lodger being completely livid (shouting and literally snarling at me) for siting at the kitchen table for a quick chat to a recruiter. (For context I sit there once in the blue moon but she felt this should be space reserved for her and the other lodger due to the fact that I have an additional work from home space and don't pay rent)... While I don't pay rent - in the flat that I own - I obviously pay the mortgage, bills and expenses.

The bitching and moaning about me that I partially overheard was apparently just about me sitting at the kitchen table that one time. But the fact that they were comfortable launching straight into a vitriolic moan about me, made me suspect they've had a couple of conversations like this before. For context, I'd say I'm fairly easy to live with. I don't have house rules and I'm fairly friendly and supportive. It's always been important to me that the lodgers feel comfortable in my home and that it is also their home.

Unfortunately when I posted the thread, someone thought I was a troll (due to someone not believing that one of my lodgers would tell me about being in a deposit dispute with her previous landlord and the reason why) and mumset deleted the thread. They've since realised I'm not a troll (I'm a regular poster but changed my user name for this thread) but I requested for the original thread to remain deleted as it contained personal details.

However, I wanted to post an update and say thank you for the feedback and also to the person who posted the assertiveness booklet which I've been reading and have found useful.

So for my update... a couple of days after I created the thread I did give both lodgers notice. I do feel a bit sad about the second lodger leaving as I mostly enjoyed having her stay. But I'd just reached my tolerance limit with the first one and felt I should ask both to leave especially as they have become close.

It's been a little frosty, especially with the first lodger (the one who told me not to sit at the kitchen table) but so far so good.

There has been a bit of oddness which I'd usually brush off but I'm now reading a bit of an eff-you to me (shutting themselves in the kitchen with loud music, leaving oil or something similar on the kitchen floor, smearing some sort of red paint on the kitchen floor and cat mat this morning, making a bit of noise outside my room first thing in the morning etc...) but I've decided to ignore and count down the days until they go.

When I gave them notice, I didn't mention anything at all about their behaviour as a reason. I kept it all quite positive and told them that unfortunately I need to isolate to help out my sick mum at short notice. This is true, and she is possibly looking at surgery soon. But the fact that neither of them have actually asked how my mum is (especially the one who has been with me for a while and who I've been really supportive of over the years), has also made me realise I made the right decision.

Most of you recommended for me to give them two weeks notice but in the end I have them a month... so hopefully not too much drama over that time.

Anyway, that's my update. I'm not a troll and I've taken everyone's advice. Life is too short of a frosty home environment, especially when you can't actually go anywhere for the foreseeable. But onwards and upwards.

@Hellogoodpeople

Well done for giving those nurses their marching orders/notice op.

The sooner they are out of your life the better.

I do think op, you are being too genourous letting them stay for a month,Consirding their shitty attitudes are continuing in a different forms with making a destructive messes of all kinds at your place.

Make sure both Nurses know any destructive behaviour of theirs,you will expect them to pay everything.

Ake sure you take lots of photos of all the destructive damages they create.

And also make sure you make note of how expensive it is to clean any messes they create and to replace stuff.

Get them to clean any of the mess they create,if they don't they will pay for it.

Write it down about all damages,messes they create in a official log book, and paperwork.

And in tenancy agreements.

Well done OP. xxx

So glad you're getting rid of these ghastly creatures, but I agree that a month is incredibly generous.

Definitely write them a letter with a phrase in it along the lines of, "I am confirming in writing that you will be leaving my property on [date]. The return of your deposit is contingent on whether any items are damaged by you between now and that date."

And I'd also be worried about the cat, definitely get a camera. I think you said they were health professionals? I've worked amongst health professionals for many years now though I'm not one myself (lots amongst friends and family). Healthcare professionals can be just as spiteful and petty and entitled as anyone else on the planet.

I'd go further than previous posters suggest though, and take photographs of the damage they do so you can present them with photographic evidence if they dare say it wasn't them.

And if they ask for references mine would be limited to one line: "[Lodger X] paid their rent on time". (Assuming they did.) Okay, maybe two. "[Lodger X] moved in on [date] and paid their rent on time". It's the equivalent of a company or organisation giving the "Person X worked at this company from [date] to [date]. They were employed as a [unicorn tangler]." For private companies in particular, anyone with half an iota of nous will read that and understand it means "Go near this person at your peril".

And if you want to stop the music, assuming it's your stereo or radio or whatever they're using (which I presume it is), you could always just mysteriously lose the power leads.....(can you tell I've had awful experiences with housemates before?!)

Definitely look into some assertiveness training, though. I was timid as a mouse growing up, intermittently dispersed with outbreaks of aggression when people took the mickey out of my general good nature, and it wasn't until I was quite a bit older that I understood you can be assertive without being aggressive.

Oh, and absolutely change the locks the day they move out.

Another person grateful for the update, and also hoping for a link to the assertiveness booklet?

And don't feel bad about them having to find somewhere to live either - if they're genuinely nurses/healthcare people, doesn't the hospital have accommodation they can go into? Though I can tell you from experience they wouldn't get away with such appalling behaviour in the residences, they'd be out on their ears with short shrift from the management!

@Hellogoodpeople

Do not be tempted to give these spiteful nurses Any Character References of any sort.

They do not deserve this at all.

Its their problem where when they find alternative places to live.

You are well rid of them op.

Do not be a push over any longer.

Best of Luck op.

I think you've been more than reasonable and generous by giving them a month's notice. Any problems, it's got to come out of their deposit. They should be cleaning the oil and paint. Did they?

Let's hope they find somewhere a lot sooner!

@avocadospringseternal

I'm glad that you've taken steps to bring the situation to a close and it's great you're finding that assertiveness booklet useful. I hope things improve for you from here.

I think you may need to give your assertiveness booklet another read!!!

You've given them double the notice you need to and invented a reason?

I'm sorry you've had to go to these lengths to get the lodgers to leave.

I hope you manage to find a way to become more assertive in the future.

Glad you've got them to go but I think a month was generous. When are they actually due to move out? Remind them in writing of the loss of part or all of their deposit if damage is caused. Do not give them good references if they ask, either refuse or keep it very basic/ambiguous and maybe their next landlord/lady will read between the lines.

I think they're nasty pieces of work who will want to seek revenge at a petty level. Watch out for yourself, your belongings and your cat! And do that assertiveness course. Maybe they can do a 'be a respectful, considerate and less arrogant lodger' course!!

When does the notice expire?

They did both pay deposits but I think any small issues in the communal areas I'll just have to live with as I won't know who did what.

I'm not sure what the paint was. It looked like nail varnish but I was able to scrub it off with a wet wipe so must have been something else. It was in three places with two quite long lines of it and a bigger rounder blob. But as I managed to get it off pretty easily it's not worth the stress of mentioning.

I did tell them I'm going to be reasonable about normal wear and tear over the period they've been here but that will apply more to the grumpier one who has been here a long time. Everything in the second lodger's room was brand new when she moved in fairly recently, so I would definitely want to buy a new mattress if I find a huge stain for example. And would take that from the deposit. But hopefully that won't be an issue.

And I've never taken the deposit from previous lodgers, so hopefully I won't need to now, fingers crossed.

I did give them notice in writing so hopefully no confusion there. But pics of anything else going forward might be a good idea just in case.

And for anyone else who was interested in the assertiveness booklet that someone posted last time, it was this:
www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness

... which linked to this:
www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Assert-Yourself/Assert-Yourself---01---What-is-Assertiveness.pdf

I was seething for you when I read your last thread, how dare they be so disrespectful towards you in your own home!

I'm so glad you found the confidence to stand up for yourself and get rid of them.

Good for you in being so assertive, don't back down now and let them away with any nonsense. If they persist in deliberately leaving a mess / making lots of noise tell them they can pack their bags earlier.

Well done OP. Yes, make sure you deduct any damage from their deposit x

Protect your cat.

If you’re starting to notice them (or one of them) doing little things to upset you, and are deciding to let it go, they might decide to do a bigger thing to get a reaction.

It sounds paranoid of me, but it recently made the news that someone in my street has been leaving out cat food laced with broken glass. Was someone I knew to chat to as well. So I’m not feeling particularly positive about humanity at the moment. Keep your cat safe.

@Hellogoodpeople

Also Warn tell these Nurses that you will get in contact with good Solicitors/or small claims court to claim get all destructive damages payments for all they do.

Even have it writing officially that this is what will happen in regard of any all damages they create.

Also op find out about getting on the internet paying for secretive covert CCTV Cameras for outside and inside your property so you know what all your Tenants get up with destructive damages/safety reasons.

I am so glad to read your update , i was so angry that they had the nerve to behave so badly , a pair of bullies.
I too would be changing the locks .
Can someone be with you on the day they leave ?
I hope this goes well for you .

Also just to add, there hasn't been any damage and the little things I noticed in the kitchen this morning, I'd usually brush off and wouldn't give too much thought about. Only in this context I raised a bit of an eyebrow. So I'm not too concerned right now, although a bit more aware in case I'm starting to need to clean up odd and unusual things every day!

But I'm definitely being protective over the cat though. I've recently changed the feeding schedule, so no longer leaving food out all day. So no chance of any contamination.

Shit themselves in YOUR kitchen playing loud music? You really need to keep reading that assertiveness booklet! I would have stormed in, made myself a cup of tea and turned off the music. Remind them in passing that any damage/stains will be looked at and deposit retained as necessary. What a pair of childish bullies, dropping oil on the floor. Are they hoping you’ll injure yourself? I would say any more incidents, even minor stuff, then they get their notice shortened drastically. I don’t think you have to give lodgers notice.

Shit themselves in YOUR kitchen playing loud music? You really need to keep reading that assertiveness booklet!

And they really need some Imodium!

Shit themselves in YOUR kitchen playing loud music

I hope they dont go that far op 😂

Well done OP. Maybe once covid is done you can start afresh with a lovely new Tennant and some firm boundaries

So glad you checked back in to update! Great they've been given notice, Be strong and don't put up with shit from them, I definitely reiterate the reminders to lodgers about their behaviours and mess/damage will result in less deposit back and a shorter notice period

Good luck - you're in control now, don't let them snatch it back

Take photos of the damage (time stamped on your phone).

Be careful about filming in case they say you’re filming them illegally, but definitely keep an eye on the cat.

@TheyIsMyFamily

Well done.

I'd remind them after any more 'smearing of oils/paints/mess' incidents that the return of their deposit is on condition of your home not being damaged by them.

Well done OP!

On the mention of the oil on the floor, sounds like they might be trying to get you to fall over. I would photograph the evidence and put it in an email to them (legal document) that their deposit will be reduced by "cleaning fees" of x amount for each failure to clean up their mess. I'd probably say it's a slip hazard and a Health and Safety hazard to leave a slippery mess, which it IS . Being nurses they should know about Health and Safety. God help us all if they don't!