Honestly, @Missrhodes, the more you post, the more I think you should break up with him.
I think you don't want to sleep with someone until you're sure they're not going to bin you off immediately afterwards. You can't guarantee the future, but you want to go into things with good odds. I don't think your approach is a bad one. I have a similar attitude when it comes to sex - I don't expect a marriage proposal, but I don't sleep with men unless I think we have a possible long-term future together.
Something about him makes you think he's not going to respect you after sex. You haven't fully articulated it, but equally, you are holding back from sleeping with him. I think that's the relevant bit.
Always trust your instinct. Us women are so perceptive, which is what gives us this warning signal - it's based on the words men say, their tone, their body language - lots of things you may not have consciously seen and therefore cannot describe in this thread. When we make bad decisions, it's usually because we've ignored our gut.
Your gut is saying not to sleep with him. Of course, he's trying to talk you into sleeping with him. But I think your gut knows that this is not the sort of match you are comfortable with.
You met him at university, so you sort of know who he is. And yet, that's not enough for you to trust him. There's something holding you back, maybe stories you haven't told us, but maybe just his body language, which might have shown some kind of insincerity.
Whatever you do, don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't feel you should. There's usually a pretty good reason why you didn't want to in the first place.