This makes my skin crawl and reminds me of something that happened to me 20 years ago.
I reconciled with my first love and it was about 4 months later that he revealed he was married with children. Hideous. I broke it off. He got back in touch and I agreed to remain friends with him (stupid decision on my part). Nothing untoward ever happened. About 6-8 months later he called me, saying his wife had found out about me, she knew I was his first love and that she had gone ballistic. He said that she had demanded he ring me, with her on speaker and end it. I asked ‘end what?’, he simply said, I’m so sorry, I need to do this. I agreed - simply because he had children and I did not want to be cause of their marriage breakdown.
He called a few hours later, what followed was an intensely humiliating 2-3 minutes. It was clear I was on speaker and he ran through a script. I was not to call him, I needed to leave him alone, he loved his wife, had no intention of leaving her. I stayed silent. Call ended.
The reality? I would have loved to have shown his wife my phone bills. This was pre whatsapp. I hadn’t called him once. Or instigated contact, once. Ever. All efforts were from him. All calls were from him.
On and off, for years he would continue to try and contact me. Facebook? Yup. Blocked him. LinkedIn. Yup. Blocked him. (You get the picture.)
He has feelings for her Op. how much she is complicit in what is going on, I obviously have no idea but for this to have been a 10 year relationship, there’s deep connection.
But based on what he’s just done? I assume based on your behest. I think he’s scum. He’s done it to keep you happy - but you’re deluding yourself if you think that with that call, his feelings for this woman will stop.