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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In not going to drop things off at the hospital

820 replies

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 11:38

My mum fell about 10 days ago and was taken to hospital where she has had an op. The hospital is very close to my house and when she has been there before I have been daily and taken food etc (she hates hospital food). I don’t mind visiting under normal circumstances and it’s nice to see her.
However, we have been pretty careful during Covid and stuck to the rules around seeing her. She and my sdad have health issues so are vulnerable but have been out and about more than they should, plus I know my brother has visited regularly. We are healthy but DD has mild asthma and I am overweight, plus DH is SE so if he was ill and couldn’t work it would cost us ££££££.
I dropped off a book and a couple of things my mum asked for last week but despite wearing a mask, using have gel etc I was pretty uneasy about being at the hospital and when DH had a blood test he also dropped off some clean nighties for her, the nurse taking his blood actually advised against it as he said Covid was rife in the hospital and my mums ward was opposite the Covid ward. DH did it anyway
This morning I had a text asking me to take her some more things and some food as the food there was awful, last time she was in hospital I cooked extra and took it in a cool bag to keep warm. I have replied saying I am not going to shops at the moment (thank you Ocado) and in any case I am not comfortable with coming to the hospital. I have suggested sdad do it as he has had both jabs so it’s safer to him. He does have some cognitive issues but can drive, go to shops etc.
I have had quite a nasty text back and now feel guilty - not guilty enough to do it but even so. DH is quite cross my mum would even ask
I am right not to go aren’t I? In an emergency I would go obviously but wanting a sandwich and clean undies isn’t an emergency

OP posts:
RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 20:33

@Hoppinggreen

Sdad has issues with long term memory, that’s all. He is fine He doesn’t need a break, he has literally had nothing to do for 10 days other than feed himself with the large supermarket delivery I sent him. My Mum had her knickers by about page 15 of the thread,
🤣🤣🤣 around the time you absolutely nailed your pile on and sadface started making her posts!

It's been 84 years...

Jellybeans53 · 14/01/2022 12:31

Hoppinggreen you’ve obviously decided you’re not going to go so not sure the point of this thread? If everyone on here said YABU and to go would you? I suspect not so I guess it’s just a pat on the back you’re after?

NewMessageFrom · 14/01/2022 12:39

@Jellybeans53

Hoppinggreen you’ve obviously decided you’re not going to go so not sure the point of this thread? If everyone on here said YABU and to go would you? I suspect not so I guess it’s just a pat on the back you’re after?
why on earth have you res'ed this thread???

Tue 16-Feb-21 20:33:51!!

Beautiful3 · 14/01/2022 13:06

Yabu. It's your mum!

Blossomtoes · 14/01/2022 13:12

Wtf? Her mum must have been home for months now!

MyComputerGetsSadWithoutMe · 14/01/2022 13:32

@Jellybeans53

Hoppinggreen you’ve obviously decided you’re not going to go so not sure the point of this thread? If everyone on here said YABU and to go would you? I suspect not so I guess it’s just a pat on the back you’re after?
It's almost a year later...
pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 14/01/2022 13:34

After nearly a year, I'd say the poor woman might need some extra pants...

dotherighthing · 14/01/2022 13:45

You are lucky to have a mum. I have not had one since I was 8.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 14/01/2022 13:49

What is it with all these posts at the moment from adult children being shit to their elderly parents and not putting themselves out for them? Karma's a bitch - wait until you are elderly and vulnerable and see what help you get from your kids. They will follow your example.

episcomama · 14/01/2022 13:52

You're scared about COVID but unvaccinated?

Kitfish · 14/01/2022 13:52

ZOMBIE!!!

TokyoTen · 14/01/2022 14:18

I cannot imagine leaving my DMum without assistance like that. You sound really over concerned about covid. Personally I think YABU.

Nanny0gg · 14/01/2022 15:04

@Hoppinggreen

And my sdad is perfectly capable of going and has had both jabs
Have you not had your jabs/booster yet?

Are you not leaving the house otherwise?

Nanny0gg · 14/01/2022 15:05

@Kitfish

ZOMBIE!!!
Bugger!!
Arethechildreninbedyet · 14/01/2022 15:23

@poblwcymru

YABU.

I have nothing nice to say so that's where I'll leave it.

This.

However uncomfortable you are think how your Mum feels. I couldn't for shame leave any relative, especially not my mum, in hospital without something as basic as clean underwear.

You don't have to go daily. Pack a bag of her favourite snacks and treats, maybe a few sandwiches (our hospital lets patients store perishable food in the ward fridges), clean underwear, pyjamas, clothes, magazines, books or whatever and that would set her up fine for a few days.

skellingtonboot · 14/01/2022 15:25

@Arethechildreninbedyet

Maybe check the date of the original post - it was almost a year ago.

Kelly7889 · 14/01/2022 16:06

I am fat, and asthmatic and would not hesitate to go every single day or twice a day if visiting permitted.

Why? Because hospitals cannot be trusted with the most basic things like making sure water is available and making sure someone is clean. I have watched friends and relatives near death in hospital and had to intervene and seen stupid accidents like falling because they don't read the notes about the patient's mobility/disability/condition.
Wear an FFP3 mask - a real one, not a Chinese fake KN95 mask which is utter crap You can get hold of them from building stores online.

StyxBankDweller · 14/01/2022 16:22

@Kitkat151

I like my Mum too and would definitely do this for her .......if your dads had 2 jabs I’m assuming he’s over 80 as that’s the only age that has had 2 jabs and at his age he is still vulnerable.... your poor Mum
Over 80? Where are you? I'm 60 and have had two and a booster. Likewise my son and daughter in law who are in their twenties.

OP, I'd feel very mean not doing this for my own mother.

StyxBankDweller · 14/01/2022 16:24

Aaaaah. Old thread. Sorry.

Theunamedcat · 14/01/2022 16:28

@Kitfish

ZOMBIE!!!
THIS ^
AngelinaFibres · 14/01/2022 16:42

How the hell can he drive when he has cognitive issues.

VelmaandShaggy · 14/01/2022 16:44

YABU. It's so miserable being in hospital with no visitors or ability to access a shop or your own things. You're being overdramatic

Isgooglebroken · 14/01/2022 16:49

Why?

In not going to drop things off at the hospital
Flossflower · 14/01/2022 16:49

Hospitals will provide a clean nightdress and disposable pants every day.

Mylittlepotofjoy · 14/01/2022 16:55

As a different way of curing the problem could you buy some from Amazon on prime next day delivery? I have sent things into hospital this way since covid

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