In not going to drop things off at the hospital

[Hoppinggreen]

My mum fell about 10 days ago and was taken to hospital where she has had an op. The hospital is very close to my house and when she has been there before I have been daily and taken food etc (she hates hospital food). I don’t mind visiting under normal circumstances and it’s nice to see her.
However, we have been pretty careful during Covid and stuck to the rules around seeing her. She and my sdad have health issues so are vulnerable but have been out and about more than they should, plus I know my brother has visited regularly. We are healthy but DD has mild asthma and I am overweight, plus DH is SE so if he was ill and couldn’t work it would cost us ££££££.
I dropped off a book and a couple of things my mum asked for last week but despite wearing a mask, using have gel etc I was pretty uneasy about being at the hospital and when DH had a blood test he also dropped off some clean nighties for her, the nurse taking his blood actually advised against it as he said Covid was rife in the hospital and my mums ward was opposite the Covid ward. DH did it anyway
This morning I had a text asking me to take her some more things and some food as the food there was awful, last time she was in hospital I cooked extra and took it in a cool bag to keep warm. I have replied saying I am not going to shops at the moment (thank you Ocado) and in any case I am not comfortable with coming to the hospital. I have suggested sdad do it as he has had both jabs so it’s safer to him. He does have some cognitive issues but can drive, go to shops etc.
I have had quite a nasty text back and now feel guilty - not guilty enough to do it but even so. DH is quite cross my mum would even ask
I am right not to go aren’t I? In an emergency I would go obviously but wanting a sandwich and clean undies isn’t an emergency

Bloody hell, some people on here are frankly loopy! Why the hell should the OP have to go to her mum’s house, collect stuff then go to the hospital when her mum’s DH is more than capable?? It’s completely illogical!

@Hoppinggreen I was agreeing with you

[quote PugInTheHouse]@Hoppinggreen I was agreeing with you [/quote]
Yes I know, thank you
But I still dont think I got shitty with anyone - at least I hope not.

Sorry it was a throwaway comment, i was saying I thought you got shitty, but quite rightly, people were being awful IMO. Maybe I read the tibe of posts wrong. Either way I felt your responses were justified.

I am in the minority clearly but usually AIBU is not as evenly split as 60/40 so there are quite a few who agree with you.

No need to apologise at all.
I find it interesting that 40% of people don’t think IABU but the comments are around 90% that I am. It seems the people who DONT think IABU are less likely to comment.

@Cherrysoup

Bloody hell, some people on here are frankly loopy! Why the hell should the OP have to go to her mum’s house, collect stuff then go to the hospital when her mum’s DH is more than capable?? It’s completely illogical!

Because he's 80 odd and vulnerable. Why shouldn't OP do it?

How do you know he is odd?

Plus he is not shielding , the daily Newspaper collection!

@Whythesadface

How do you know he is odd?

Plus he is not shielding , the daily Newspaper collection!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 my favourite response yet

Hey your the one who called him odd...
But lots not let the truth get in the way of you trying to bully people.

I think she meant old
To be fair he is slightly odd too but we love him anyway (and it in no way impairs his knickers delivering abilities)

@Whythesadface

Hey your the one who called him odd... But lots not let the truth get in the way of you trying to bully people.

Bullying aye? You have left a stream of incessant bizarre posts about us killing people but I'm a bully?

80-odd. As in, in his 80s. Commonly used expression.

@Hoppinggreen

I think she meant old To be fair he is slightly odd too but we love him anyway (and it in no way impairs his knickers delivering abilities)

🤣

Using Symantics to divert how covid is spread.
It's person to person.
Would you like links to schools closed because of covid?
This all started because one single person in the world caught this virus.
Emotionaly Bullying someone who wanted to avoid a hospital because going frightened her and she was worried about about getting Covid, passing it to her family and the economic impact on her family, all so she can supply knickers to her mum.
A woman she doesn't live with, who has a partner.
I really hope OP does not catch covid because MN forced her to change her mind.

@Cherrysoup

Bloody hell, some people on here are frankly loopy! Why the hell should the OP have to go to her mum’s house, collect stuff then go to the hospital when her mum’s DH is more than capable?? It’s completely illogical!

Because he is an ~80 year old man who the op described as having "cognitive issues". I'm not sure what exactly cognitive issues means in this context, but it seems like going out of your way as a young healthy person to make their life easier is going to make more reward for everyone than the effort it would take you.

Can an 80 year old man with cognitive issues pick things up and take them to his wife in hospital?

Sure probably.

Would it be nicer for everyone if her daughter picked some things up and have a vist while the old man can take a break?

@Whythesadface

Using Symantics to divert how covid is spread. It's person to person. Would you like links to schools closed because of covid? This all started because one single person in the world caught this virus. Emotionaly Bullying someone who wanted to avoid a hospital because going frightened her and she was worried about about getting Covid, passing it to her family and the economic impact on her family, all so she can supply knickers to her mum. A woman she doesn't live with, who has a partner. I really hope OP does not catch covid because MN forced her to change her mind.

Thank god there's no risks to a mother from pregnancy, otherwise they might worry or be frightened.

At the hospital I work at NHS Staff have been buying underwear out of their own pockets due to families not bringing this kind of stuff in when needed at the moment. Please, how ever you do it, get some clean underwear to her.

Do you think we can start a charity?
Knickers for all?
All joking apart, I would be quiet willing to donate funds to ensure this can happen for people stuck in hospital alone and helpless.

Sdad has issues with long term memory, that’s all. He is fine
He doesn’t need a break, he has literally had nothing to do for 10 days other than feed himself with the large supermarket delivery I sent him.
My Mum had her knickers by about page 15 of the thread,

@Whythesadface

Do you think we can start a charity? Knickers for all? All joking apart, I would be quiet willing to donate funds to ensure this can happen for people stuck in hospital alone and helpless.

Maybe see if you can get Bono interested?

I would personally go in a heartbeat if it was my mum. However, OP has stated she does have underwear. So she's not being left without. I would approach the situation differently if it was my mum but its not like she's leaving her with nothing. If she has a device, could you even arrange video calls? Maybe she's feeling lonely on top of everything else. To the comments about wife work - I would absolutely arrange for personal things for my mum or MiL rather than my brothers or DH having to do it.

Well I’ve had close family in good for cancer surgery and everyone was told in no uncertain terms that there would be no visitors and nothing dropped off for patients. There was an exceptional ability but had to be cleaned etc and it was clear this would be difficult and taking resources from where they were most needed. I’m astonished to read if anyone thinking about dropping off anything unless expressly allowed and permission/arrangements having been sorted out.

I'd take her the thubgs she asked for. I work on a covid ward and being in hospital is utterly shit right now. I feel the risk of walking in the hospital corridoor very low but would massively boost your mums moral. If you odnt take her clean Knickers she will be stuck with god awful net Knickers. And the food is shit, she probably isn't eating as much as usual so a few nice bits would be a big boost.
Alternatively if you have a local fb group, you could maybe post and ask if there are any nurses that work there and would be happy to drop it off. I have done this 5 or 6 times now for family members who didn't feel like they could but were desperate for their relatives to get some bits.

@Hannahusky

I would personally go in a heartbeat if it was my mum. However, OP has stated she does have underwear. So she's not being left without. I would approach the situation differently if it was my mum but its not like she's leaving her with nothing. If she has a device, could you even arrange video calls? Maybe she's feeling lonely on top of everything else. To the comments about wife work - I would absolutely arrange for personal things for my mum or MiL rather than my brothers or DH having to do it.

I have phoned her every day since she was taken in and I know my brother and sdad have too.

@tigerbread20

I'd take her the thubgs she asked for. I work on a covid ward and being in hospital is utterly shit right now. I feel the risk of walking in the hospital corridoor very low but would massively boost your mums moral. If you odnt take her clean Knickers she will be stuck with god awful net Knickers. And the food is shit, she probably isn't eating as much as usual so a few nice bits would be a big boost. Alternatively if you have a local fb group, you could maybe post and ask if there are any nurses that work there and would be happy to drop it off. I have done this 5 or 6 times now for family members who didn't feel like they could but were desperate for their relatives to get some bits.

And again, she has her knickers now

@Whythesadface

Using Symantics to divert how covid is spread. It's person to person. Would you like links to schools closed because of covid? This all started because one single person in the world caught this virus. Emotionaly Bullying someone who wanted to avoid a hospital because going frightened her and she was worried about about getting Covid, passing it to her family and the economic impact on her family, all so she can supply knickers to her mum. A woman she doesn't live with, who has a partner. I really hope OP does not catch covid because MN forced her to change her mind.

Omg are you still going?? Your tenth post doesn't make any more sense than your first!