Can men do the washing?

[GrannyBags]

This may seem like a small thing as DH is generally not too bad with household things but he will not load the washing machine. This morning he pointed out that the pile has built up a bit. We are all getting over Covid - he was in hospital to be fair, but he has never done the washing since we have been together. I’ve been washing all day and am feeling resentful. I asked our 12 year old DS to put his washing in with me and he questioned why he had to if DH didn’t. I said that’s because I was raising him not Nanny and he was fine with that! My MIL did all the ‘woman’s work’ and is very po faced if I suggest DH should do any chores. Is there any hope for him? Am I right to be fed up with this?

Look, it's clearly unreasonable of you to expect him to use a washing machine when his giant willy and massive bollocks get in his way.

Honestly, I'd have told him to fuck off and that he'd be washing his own clothes from now on. And then get him to teach your son how to do it.

DH can do the washing. I normally put it on because I’m a control freak about how I want it done- vanish here, vinegar there, anti Covid disinfectant in with my work stuff, what temperature and spin.
DH can do it though and I have trained him quite well!
He often hangs it to dry/ puts the tumble drier on. When we both worked FT he did all the ironing but now I work PT with a school age child I do the ironing.

You have to train him OP, and make sure your DS comes ready trained.

I’m too angry at the title to even begin discussing this calmly.

OF COURSE MEN CAN DO THE WASHING. YOU DON’T GET MAGICAL WIFEWORK POWERS ISSUED WITH YOUR MAGICAL VULVA/VAGINA.

Ridiculous of him. Stop washing his clothes.

Oh and YADNBU to be fed up with it!

@Alfaix

You have to train him OP, and make sure your DS comes ready trained.

No you don’t have to train him. You just have to stop doing his washing. He’ll work it out.

Well, he could, I assume it's something he's capable of.

Is there some reason he thinks this is a job you have split up? Lots of times jobs in a family are divided so one person does the whole job. When I was growing up my mum didn't want other people to do the laundry - she was very anal about how it was done and felt it was more efficient to do it together.

I don't do that - I am happy for dh and the kids to do their own laundry. In fact at one point I did all laundry, and dh would try and help by doing more when I seemed backed up, not realising that my choke point was folding and putting away, so he was actually making things worse. Now he does his own and the kids often do theirs too, and that has fixed the issue overall. I do have some other jobs I prefer to do on my own, and so does dh, and so overall I think we have a fair balance.

So it might be worth looking at who has what job overall in the family, and if you'd like laundry help, you can make it clear then - and maybe think about what help would work best too.

I would not be washing his clothes.

My DH does as much washing as I do, therefore we just wash whatever is in the basket. However, in your case I absolutely would be leaving his stuff out of it.

How ridiculous.

LOL.

What did he do when he was living alone/single?

Get the fairies to wash his clothes?

Of course they can, he'll soon learn if you stop pandering to him.

What the fuck? You don't have to plug the washing machine into your vagina for it to work. I've never seen a "do not operate if attached to a penis" instruction on any washing machine. Of course men can do the washing.

My husband does more of the washing than I do. I do more of other chores.

Tell your son if he can operate a phone he can operate a washing machine, your husband the same and if he drives a car again he can operate a washing machine.

It's ridiculous he doesn't do any washing. But it's even more ridiculous you've been doing it all for the last 12 years and only saying something now.

Tell him to do the washing sometimes.

Also gay men manage as so single men.

Do single... straight, gay or whatever!

It must be quite the turn off to find that your husband lacks the intelligence to turn a washing machine on.

My DP does his washing, I do mine. If he didn’t do it, he’d have nothing clean to wear. We don’t have dc yet. He doesn’t seem to think to do all our sheets/towels etc though, that is normally down to me, which grates a bit.

Anyone (leaving aside severe disabilities) can learn to use a washing machine. Some may have odd settings you need to work out, but the actual process isn't difficult.

Mine (59 in a week or so) does, has done for decades.

He even checks my washing bag to see if there are any clothes in there that are suitable to join his. He manages to miss my bras, tights, dresses and woollen articles every single time. He shrinks, discolours, wrecks nothing in the washing machine or tumble dryer.

If my washing is in the machine when he needs it he transfers my washing to the dryer, or washing line, and manages to recognise items that might not be dryer friendly.

If my stuff is in the dryer he manages to take it out and place it on my bed, often folded, so I can put it away where I want it.

And I taught him nothing. He worked it out for himself, just like I did. So men can, they just have to see it as art of their every day lives.

Of course we can, it's just that some people are dickheads and don't.

Yes

What? Why won’t he load the washing machine? And why do you enable this? Stop washing his clothes- he’ll soon get the message.

It is the 21st century. He should do all household chores equally. My DH does washing, all his own ironing, cleaning and hoovering.

You’re doing your own DS no favours by setting this example and are storing up trouble for your future DIL if you don’t make your son do chores.

There are no men/women jobs now, and you can’t generalise about all men. My DH and my DF are very good around the house- better than me as well.

Men can do laundry.

Tragic whiny bitch babies can't.

Glad to see you're raising your son to be the former, despite an example of the latter from his father.