To feel possessive over nice food items

[WellPlayed]

I know I probably am but it is really getting to me that I buy decent food and it is being devoured without a second thought to the quality and cost by DP. It doesn't touch the sides with him. A mountain of peanut butter in a snack sandwich, almost a pack of ham in a one go, chocolate eaten in one sitting, a think covering of jam on toast with a slab of butter underneath. I know I'm jealous as I'm calorie counting. But when I go to have a small treat from these items and find them gone or almost finished it annoys me. I feel it is a bit petty to buy cheaper versions for him but I don't actually know that he'll care or notice. AIBU?

@Clicketyclick21

When the shopping gets delivered, I only put half out & store the rest in hiding places. So I freeze half a loaf/crumpets etc, one pack of biscuits/treats & the rest is hidden and then replaced when finished. Half a pack of butter in the dish but I always leave a big bowl of fruit out so people can help themselves.

My hiding places are wardrobes, suitcases and an old microwave box in the cupboard under stairs.

Yup, I have to do this with treat items otherwise DS eats it all and none of us gets any treat food. I feel like a right Scrooge but then I realised that he didn’t care so I needed to do something about it.

YANBU I don't calorie count but am the person who goes to look for a biscuit and finds them all gone. I don't feel the need to eat a whole packet in one sitting. It's greedy and selfish to never think the other person might want some at some point.

Get yourself a treat box to go under your bed or at the back of your wardrobe, where you can keep some nice things just for you.

Oh I love all the food issues that come out on these threads! @Thewiseoneincognito I’m particularly interested to know how jam on toast or peanut butter sandwiches are utterly grotesque

I think a lot of the disagreements on here are down to differences in budget and upbringing.

To some people ham is 'a normal everyday food"

To others it's a bit of a luxury.

To me, people who buy a 'stash' of chocolate for their kids seem weird...to me chocolate is a thing you might buy once a week or something...not a thing you buy in with the lettuce and eggs!

Nothing useful to add but this thread is making me glad I live alone and don’t need hiding places for my food!

He eats food meant for the baby and (almost) a whole pack of ham in one go? Yeah that’s greedy. Plus you pay more and earn less?
I would be having a cupboard for me and the baby and a separate one for him. Same with shelves in the fridge etc. if he can’t control himself.

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

Nope. I read it just fine thanks.

You seem to be having difficulty comprehending OP’s issue. You also like patronising people but don’t like being patronised yourself 😂

If I bought ham, which I don't - bring g vegetarian, I'd buy the decent stuff that had 4-6 slices in a pack. So no I don't think eating almost all of that in sandwiches makes a grown man greedy. You might buy large packets of budget ham, the OP doesn't.

OP has an issue with her H eating nearly all the expensive ham. Do you lack empathy in real life too?

He eats most of it, not all of it. Given the OP only wants a little bit of everything as a 'treat' I'm sure there's plenty left gor her to nibble.

That’s not for you to decide.

He eats food meant for the baby and (almost) a whole pack of ham in one go? Yeah that’s greedy.

Food “for the baby” was peanut butter. That’s not exactly exclusively baby food. I don’t think the op said not enough was left for the baby?
Where did the op say it was a big pack of ham? The posher packs often only have a few slides in them.

We have a joint account which we both contribute equally too. But that money runs out fast and as I do the majority(all!) of the food shopping I end up topping it up and I can't really reclaim the money as then we have none for the next month. Asking for money from him leads to arguements so I don't bother.

OK, your problem is not the peanut butter, is it?

It is being in a relationship where you cannot speak out for fear of arguments. That is the issue, and you need to tackle that. If he is arguing in order to shut you down then you need to examine your whole relationship.

Is he tight about other things than food?

He sounds greedy. Nobody needs to eat a full pack of ham in one go. Is he fat?

I would draw the line at stealing the baby’s food. Who takes food out of their own child’s mouth? It’s not just greedy, it’s disgraceful.

And I’m shocked by all of these women who are enabling greedy men by hiding food from them! They’re not children - they should be able to control themselves! Why don’t you set expectations for them to behave like responsible adults and not take more than their fair share?

Put everything that's yours only into a carrier bag and pop it in the fridge/cupboard/wherever it needs to go.

Tell him anything in that bag is solely for you only, so there's no miscommunication.

Hell would freeze over before I would start hiding food in my own home. I can't believe the amount of people who have to do this.

He obviously cares more about his belly and his bank balance than he does about you and your little baby.
I would stop buying him any treats...nothing. Tell him firmly he can stop eating the things you have bought for you and baby out of your own pocket.
Otherwise I would just hide the bloody lot. Leave him with cheap products like what he tends to buy.
Selfish twat.

Is he overweight and eating abnormally large quantities?

I would up the food budget and ensure he contributes half if not more.
If you have a joint account you can top it from the joint account no?

To the pps. Not posted before bout this. I'm not the food controlling wife or the wife with the greedy husband. In fact I'm not even a wife just a mere girlfriend with a hungry partner.

This annoys me. I want to use some babybels to make my own ‘McDonald’s’ cheese melt bites. I’ve bought 5 packs of 10 over the past few weeks and STILL don’t have any bloody babybels to make these.

God why do these threads always get filled by the food-issues posters and the competitive 'one slice of ham will fill me up for a week' brigade.

@WellPlayed

To the pps. Not posted before bout this. I'm not the food controlling wife or the wife with the greedy husband. In fact I'm not even a wife just a mere girlfriend with a hungry partner.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you do have a greedy partner. And a financially abusive one too.

@Haffiana And they manage to insert their vegetarianism into the thread when it’s irrelevant 🙄

I will never understand how people get to the point of co-habitating and procreating with greedy, tight, selfish gits like this. Hiding food in own home. Nope. I think that would be the end of the joint account. Everyone gets space in the fridge and cupboards/larder and does own shopping, like uni flatmates, because he can't behave like an adult in a partnership.

So OP,
You are paying more than him, though he earns more.

He's a greedy pig with food.

You are afraid to mention it because it causes arguments.

So you have had a baby with a greedy pig, who is very tight with money and who you tip toe around because if you challenge him, it will cause arguments?

Can you see how this reads.

Greedy, nasty man that earns more but costs YOU more to feed because he is financially abusive.

Causing arguments when you ask for him to pay his share of what HE eats is abusive.

Doesn't sound as if you have any prize there.

Do you have real life support from family and friends?

Bullet proof your contraception but can you bear this greedy pig near you🤢

....and start being really honest about this relationship.

Keep posting

I would hide it. Whenever I buy crisps my dh and kids gobble the bag in one session and then when I go to have some a few days later they are all gone! Sometimes I buy things to have later so hide them. I share them when I have them of course 😀

Wellplayed I could probably just about tolerate him eating all the nice food but buying cheaper replacements and complaining when you ask for more money would drive me mad.

I wish I could think of a solution but other than him doing all the food shopping for a month (which doesn't sound very realistic), I think you just have to keep on showing him receipts. The £50 extra a month that you pay for the milk and bread doesn't seem very fair.

Yes, he is being thoughtless about the food. Just gobbling it down without considering that you might want some.

It sounds like he needs to do some food shops and pay for it too.
How are household chores and childcare divided up between you two? Do you have spending money of your own? Is there a reason you're not married?

If a partner eats a lot then goes on to polish off your food and snacks too of course it's annoying.

I do think your attitude to food in terms of quality, how much butter he puts on bread etc is strange OP. I bet he wouldn't care if you bought cheaper stuff anyway.

But "see and eat it all" people who don't consider others can be aggravating.

If he's eaten most of the food shopping then wants more snacks, why can't he pop to the shop and buy some?