Window open at night and it’s freezing

[crumble82]

My DP doesn’t like to be hot at night, fair enough. But it’s -8°c outside and he has the window open, our bedroom is like an igloo. We still have the thin duvet on our bed so he doesn’t get hot, I have a blanket and a hot water bottle but I just don’t sleep well in a freezing bedroom.
So AIBU - it’s healthier to have the window open at night
Or AINBU - it’s winter!

Too hot

@LimitIsUp

To fellow 'running hot' people / does anyone have a problem with pillows. I frequently wake up at night because my head and face have got to hot and I have to flip over the pillow to the cool side

A wool pillow? It's a cotton pillow stuffed with wool. I have a wool duvet too and it definitely helps. Next on my list is a wool mattress topper as we have a memory foam one and I hate it. It's very comfortable, but I get so hot it's almost unbearable.

Wow I didn’t expect so many replies. I might have given the wrong impression in my posts, I don’t mind the window open a bit most nights, it’s just that the last few nights have been SO cold. We have both compromised, he would like the window wide open but knows I hate a draft so he just has it open a bit. He usually sleeps with the duvet pushed back, it’s the middle of the night when he’s asleep that he likes to roll himself up so not like he’s doing it on purpose. Before lockdown he would sleep naked under a wide open window in the spare room quite frequently but we’ve lost the spare room so I have somewhere to work and the sofa bed is rock hard, I’m not going to ask him to sleep on it on a regular basis.

I wear warms pjs, have a wooden blanket on the bed and a hot water bottle but I like some of the other ideas people have put on so will research them. To be fair to him I do think it’s easier to warm up than cool down so happy to do more of the compromising in this situation. I don’t think that makes me a martyr as some posters have suggested!

Also I think my phone is listening to me as I had a suggested article this morning on how to sleep well in winter has anyone tried the hybrid duvet from Simba? It looks like it might be the type of thing we’re after but it’s £119 so would appreciate feedback.

I think it would be far better to just have two separate duvets (but I’m Danish so that’s very normal to me anyway - if DH and I weren’t so similar in our sleep temp requirements I’d have two separate ones for sure as it’s much more comfortable and one person isn’t potentially left without enough of duvet to keep them comfy). You don’t need to buy whole new sets of bedding - just buy one white one (or whatever colour would be the best neutral). When you make the bed put the patterned duvet on top of the other and your bed will look just fine.

Me and the ex-husband had this problem, but I'm the hot person. We got him his own single duvet to use under the double one, and an electric blanket for his side of the bed that he kept on all night. Solved the problem

Holy shit I'm in Australia and I don't even sleep with a window open. What if the bogey men get in?

We have the same - I like a massive 13 tog feather duvet to snuggle under. He prefers a thinner duvet but balls himself up in it so drags the covers off me. So quite some years ago we moved to two double duvets on the bed - during the day they're spread one on top of the other, at night we each get one.

What's with the selfish men-folk deciding how everyone sleeps, and the women-folk just pandering to this shite? This isn't the first thread I've read where the OP is cold but wanting tips on keeping warm - it's your fucking bedroom too - why are you putting up with this selfish behaviour???

I still don't understand why someone who gets hot at night would sleep under a duvet

I don't even own a duvet

I always need window open at night, I feel instant relief when it's open if it's been shut!!
I ve recently upgraded our duvet to a soak and sleep Hungarian down, I'm so impressed, I also got some electric blankets which dh can use.

I sleep under a duvet because I like being cosy. We also have a duvet mattress topper on our bed for extra cosiness factor. We just don’t like sleeping in a stuffy room that’s too hot.

It's below freezing outside. I don't care whether you prefer fresh air and a cool room to sleep in, if you want to have the window open overnight in -8 degrees you are going to be sleeping an a room other than mine. I'd seriously suggest to my DH if he wanted to have our window open overnight atm that he go and sleep in the shed.

I sleep cold, DH sleeps hot. I have an extra single duvet underneath the double duvet and a hot water bottle. I am cozy every night even with the window slightly ajar. Highly recommend this set up!

I've had this for 26yrs, he runs hot, I can't cope with the cold at all, it just makes me feel ill. We have separate single duvets (I actually have 2) and then a king size that I pull over to make the bed tidy in the daytime. I can't emphasise enough how much difference it makes having a quilt each. I've put my foot down this winter and we alternate the window opening - one night on, one night off. And for the first time in 26yrs the heating is on in the bedroom first thing. We live in a freezing draughty Victorian house.

We are very lucky that we both prefer the same sleeping conditions - I don’t think our marriage would have survived otherwise!

I'm the one who hates bedroom being hot.

But I got my DH a single heated blanket which he puts on about 20 mins before he comes to bed and he has a thick duvet I think its 14 tog. If I'm hot I sleep on top of the duvet.

Oh there is no way I could sleep with the window shut!

@LimitIsUp

To fellow 'running hot' people / does anyone have a problem with pillows. I frequently wake up at night because my head and face have got to hot and I have to flip over the pillow to the cool side

Yes - because of my sinus issues having a 'hot head' is awful so I bought one of those 'chillow pillows' that you stick in the freezer and then place underneath your pillow or pillowcase. Of course I don't use it at this time of year but in the warmer weather it's essential otherwise I just won't be able to sleep.

@ChasingRainbows19

Those who have windows in minus temps cos they can’t possibly sleep any other way. What do you do when it’s heatwave weather, no air flow through the windows as it’s so hot? Do you move to a cold country for the summer?

I have a fan near my bed in the summer. It's the only way.

Apparently the prime temperature for good sleep is 16-18 degrees... Which sounds about right to me.

@Octane

I still don't understand why someone who gets hot at night would sleep under a duvet

It’s a sensory thing I think. I hate sleeping without a cover with some weight (a sheet isn’t enough for me) even though I get really hot.

@Octane

I still don't understand why someone who gets hot at night would sleep under a duvet

I don't think it's too difficult to understand that some people like to feel cozy/snug rather than hot and stuffy. I sleep with my window open and under a duvet because I feel this gives me the best of both worlds; a slight breeze (as opposed to hot air) and the snug feeling of warmth under a duvet. I don't feel cold because the duvet is doing its job of keeping me warm.

If the window were closed, I'd feel suffocated under a duvet with no fresh air circulating the room. I couldn't imagine sleeping with the radiator on. People also forget that humans sweat bucket loads during sleep, and our bodies do tend to heat up.

He gets hot hot hot no matter what the weather or room temp, and will sleep with the duvet down by his knees.

I cannot sleep in a warm room but like the duvet up to my eyeballs and I like to roll myself up in it as well.

We have no heating upstairs at all.

The solution has definitely been to have our own duvets, he has a thin double, I have a thick kingsize feather AND a thinner one AND a hot water bottle. Suits us all and there are a variety of layers to cover up various dogs depending on how cold.

The window is always open, but last night was so cold even the toughty outdoorsy french hound wanted under one layer.

I don't think it's too difficult to understand that some people like to feel cozy/snug rather than hot and stuffy

It is quite difficult to understand for someone from a hot country where duvets are almost never used. I use a sheet, and if I get hot, I throw the sheet off. I feel quite cosy in my bed still!

And the idea of wrapping myself in a thick duvet and then complaining about being too hot and opening the window to -8C and upsetting my partner in the process rather than just not using a duvet... that's really difficult to understand.