Friend says boyfriend has been suspended for having a threesome

[radiateforme]

AIBU to think that there must be more to this? Friend phoned me because her partner has been suspended (he works in a professional job - think police). They have an open relationship and both sleep with other people. I have been considering having a threesome recently, or starting a fwb relationship, and am well and truly put off by this whole debacle! Apparently he disclosed to a colleague that he had a threesome before lockdown and this made its way to management and he's been suspended for this and this alone! Surely he is entitled to a private sex life? My friend knows I've posted this here and is also curious to know if he's hiding something from her... Thoughts? Is he lying?

@Playnoh

Sounds complete bull. Unless he had it at work, on the bosses desk!

Someone needs to flag this idea to Jed Mercurio.

Does it matter? Get better friends, don’t get embroiled into this shit. A wank would be better...

[quote Ileflottante]@LunaHeather 👏🏻[/quote]
😂

Dunno @Ileflottante but they've put all the previous series on iPlayer already so I'm thinking it must be soon.

Years ago, I was brought in to do HR consultancy work for a public sector organisation. An employee had been jailed for the most heinous crime and the body wanted to sack him.

Couldn’t be done.

Went down every single avenue but ultimately paid the guy off to go quietly (once he got out of prison!).
To be honest, it was more for his safety than anything by the end of it, such was the nature of his crime.

Sickened the shit out of me to give him a settlement.

Anyway, either your friend, her boyfriend, or you, are bullshitting here.

Men talking about their sex lives at work is not uncommon. I’ve worked in several male dominated sectors and they do brag/talk about their exploits.

I’m really glad if some one has reported him.

@JackieWeaver4PM

Dunno *@Ileflottante* but they've put all the previous series on iPlayer already so I'm thinking it must be soon.

To the letter of the law. I have a weird crush on Hastings.

Anyway. Sorry. Back to the most believable thread that was ever to be believed.

Is he lying?

@JudgeJudee

Years ago, I was brought in to do HR consultancy work for a public sector organisation. An employee had been jailed for the most heinous crime and the body wanted to sack him.

Couldn’t be done.

Went down every single avenue but ultimately paid the guy off to go quietly (once he got out of prison!).
To be honest, it was more for his safety than anything by the end of it, such was the nature of his crime.

Sickened the shit out of me to give him a settlement.

Anyway, either your friend, her boyfriend, or you, are bullshitting here.

I’ve carried out fair dismissals for these kind of situations. Of course it can be done. Sounds like their processes and policies were the problem

Blatantly used a prostitute OP

Which yeah...is a sackable offence given paying for sex is illegal

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/53A

@JackieWeaver4PM

Apparently so.

And I'll tell you now that they're not on fucking iPlayer. 😠😠

Small mercies...

I remember training up a young woman (18/19) to cover reception where I worked, her mum worked in HR as well and this was a holiday job for her daughter before Uni, the first day I met her she started telling me about these wild threesome she had in Malaga in great detail, I really didnt want to know this information, her mum thought she was completely innocent (although I question that in reality if her DD went on a girls holiday to Malaga) The point is, we were sitting in an open reception area where people walked through and she was talking (boasting) about these 2 men and what they did to her when she was drunk abroad, to be honest when she told me at first it sounded very much like she was with one guy and then his friend came in and joined in, without asking but she mentioned it to me as if it was the best thing in the world. Now if your friends DH has done something similar in work, he could well have upset someone with over sharing.

It sounds unlikely. There must be more to it, like it is with someone he met through work such as a victim or witness, or it was an inappropriate relationship with a colleague.

bit bored?

@sabrinathemiddleagewitch

Blatantly used a prostitute OP

Which yeah...is a sackable offence given paying for sex is illegal

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/53A

Paying for sex is not illegal. Paying for forced sex is illegal. As it says on the page you linked to.

Anyway OP:

he disclosed to a colleague that he had a threesome before lockdown and this made its way to management

Yeah, what's happened here is he has propositioned someone at work, or at the very least been using sex talk in front of a colleague. Especially bad if it was a junior colleague. Definitely sackable.

@funnylittlefloozie

I very much doubt that your friend is getting the full story. I imagine this will teach her husband to be a bit more careful who he goes telling stories to, though.

I work in a place where pretty much everyone is shagging everyone else. I worked for the police back in the Stone Age, and it was exactly the same back then. So there is bound to be much more to it than she has heard so far. I hope it's not too nasty when she finds out the truth.

My late mother always said One tale's good until the other one's told, and I think this is probably the case here. You're getting a sanitised version of one side of the story.

Well this thread has taken several interesting turns.

Did he misuse company property eg. Handcuffs and truncheon?

Did it take place in the cells?

And in answer to your question, of course he's lying. He's covering his back for what actually happened.

Not sure about this...

Surely he is entitled to a private sex life? Well he is entitled to a private sex life but he chose to make it public.

NEVER sleep with your boss's partner or family members. Twunk.

He won't be suspended for the act of the threesome alone. He probably was reported from someone who overheard the details of this threesome. I.e if we're thinking police was there a destressed member of the public in the vicinity who overheard.

He is of course entitled to a private sex life but he is not entitled to make it public especially within a work environment. Even more so if while at work it's important to conduct yourself in a professional manner.

If it involved someone he met through his duties then he absolutely can be suspended, even if they consented and encouraged. Same if in work time, with any subordinate, person he has influence over if, for example, he trains or assesses anyone or goes into the community to teach or mentor. Also if he shared details with colleagues either verbally or through the email system or singled out people for explicit details.

The actual act of sharing bodily fluids with two others will not be the issue, it will be with who and when he did it or the reporting of it in the workplace.

So the question is which is it?

I love your wording - he "disclosed to a colleague" that he had had a threesome.

As you do