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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend says boyfriend has been suspended for having a threesome

159 replies

radiateforme · 11/02/2021 18:58

AIBU to think that there must be more to this? Friend phoned me because her partner has been suspended (he works in a professional job - think police). They have an open relationship and both sleep with other people. I have been considering having a threesome recently, or starting a fwb relationship, and am well and truly put off by this whole debacle! Apparently he disclosed to a colleague that he had a threesome before lockdown and this made its way to management and he's been suspended for this and this alone! Surely he is entitled to a private sex life? My friend knows I've posted this here and is also curious to know if he's hiding something from her... Thoughts? Is he lying?

OP posts:
Crakeandoryx · 11/02/2021 19:22

There will be more to this. Some contracts state no personal relationships with colleagues. Did he have the 3some at work, during work hours, whose he told, in what context has he mentioned it etc. It's not unheard of but it must be linked to work in some way to result in his suspension

JackieWeaver4PM · 11/02/2021 19:25

Good point about possible work time.

Did he forget to turn off his zoom stream, OP?

JackieWeaver4PM · 11/02/2021 19:26

Cos I mean that would be way worse than the guy with the cat filter.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 11/02/2021 19:28

It's hardly private if he's cornered some poor woman and told her ALL about it by the photocopier.

Would be sexual harassment, though.

Not particularly Covid safe, either, lockdown or not.

He's lying to his partner to try and wriggle out of responsibility for something.

CodMouth · 11/02/2021 19:28

She doesn’t want to have a threesome with you so she’s made it up to put you off?

rwalker · 11/02/2021 19:30

probperly someone complained if he's been talking about sex as inappropriate behavoiur.

medebourne · 11/02/2021 19:30

oo er. Spicy ! Is he a window cleaner, or possibly taxi driver?

Redburnett · 11/02/2021 19:30

If he has made his behaviour public he may have brought his profession into disrepute.

Jackie2022 · 11/02/2021 19:32

Could it bring his company’s reputation into disrepute? This usually constitutes gross misconduct. This even includes him posting profiles on dating website with explicit language and photos of him in his uniform

Was the sex consensual or has a complaint been made?

Was the sex with a colleague, and are workplace relationships against his handbook guidance?

CakeRequired · 11/02/2021 19:33

I really doubt that he got suspended for discussing his sex life while on annual leave to be honest. He's hiding something.

YoBeaches · 11/02/2021 19:34

Well clearly he's lying to her. This is not why he was suspended. And suspension is always 'pending investigation' to validate any allegations made against him. So he's lying through is teeth.

AnitaB888 · 11/02/2021 19:35

I don't believe this.

The only way he could get suspended from work for having a 3-some is if he did it at work, in work time.

JackieWeaver4PM · 11/02/2021 19:35

posting profiles on dating website with explicit language and photos of him in his uniform 👀👀👀

This sounds like quite a specific example.
Voice of experience?

Daphnise · 11/02/2021 19:36

I don't believe much of what is being stated at such a second hand distance.

But policemen don't always tell the truth, you know!

JackieWeaver4PM · 11/02/2021 19:36

Did he show you his truncheon?

radiateforme · 11/02/2021 19:36

Not a journalist. Thanks everyone. Going to ask for this to be deleted now.

OP posts:
hillarypcof · 11/02/2021 19:37

Decisions to suspension employees are not taking lightly and only come as a result of a risk assessment where there is no other option (light duties, alternative assignments etc) other than to suspend that person because they are a risk to the organisation and the people they serve.... on that basis, I do not think he is telling the truth.
There is more to it than this.

BoomBoomsCousin · 11/02/2021 19:37

Is he armed forces?

I believe there are some consenting sexual situations that might be against the armed forces statement of values. Especially if they involve someone of a more junior rank or the spouse of a colleague.

ParlezVousWronglais · 11/02/2021 19:37

@SilverBirchWithout

Daily Mail journalist again?
Ohh you beat me to it.

Or perhaps people in professional jobs (think police) shouldn’t be discussing their rampant sex lives at work.

AIMD · 11/02/2021 19:38

Prison officer

Jackie2022 · 11/02/2021 19:38

@JackieWeaver4PM haha no not personal experience- I just see people get exposed on Twitter all the time Grin

Georgyporky · 11/02/2021 19:38

3 blokes?

Armed forces ?

radiateforme · 11/02/2021 19:39

Why would it matter if it was 3 blokes as opposed to 3 women,, out of curiosity?!

OP posts:
JackieWeaver4PM · 11/02/2021 19:41

@Georgyporky now we're onto "suits you sir".

I love this thread.

GCAcademic · 11/02/2021 19:42

Incredible.

Literally.

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