To, in actual fact, be grieving life before Covid and our collective lost future?

[StarsAndsunbeams]

Just that. I'm a ball of knots, despite trying my best to deal with this all.

I'm starting to doubt my inner reserves and my ability to adapt to change.

Please cast your vote. I need to know that I'm definitely not alone in this feeling. Advice greatly appreciated too.

It’s obvious what the thread’s about. Opening it’s a choice.

@VinylDetective

It’s obvious what the thread’s about. Opening it’s a choice.

Exactly

Yes, and I also keep thinking about moving to New Zealand or anywhere else in the world that is living normal! Does anyone else think about doing that?

There's also the option to hide individual threads if it bothers you that much 🤷

I had to search for an old photo yesterday on my iPhone, which forced me to look at smiling, maskless, huddled photos from a few years ago. I was hurt and astonished. I’m a grown woman and I almost can’t recall the sensation of standing in close proximity to strangers without a care.

@lindy2 and it may also be that your infection was less as you may have been subjected to reduced viral shed.

Thank you for this thread OP!! I had such a little life really would work during the week go for a couple of drinks after work on a Friday or have a few Saturday afternoon takeout and home, coffee with friends and out for special occasions birthdays etc. As someone said upthread everything is beige and not much to look forward to. I am lucky really as still working and have no money worries and thankfully my kids are ok and terrible to say my parents are long gone doesn't mean I can't grieve for my little life 😞 anyway sending love and I hope everyone keeps the faith it will get better ❤️

@madmumofteens, thank you for that.

I lead a small life too. I miss it though. I was shopping today and it was so sad. People shuffling past in masks. Parents pulling their children away from people. Shoppers observing distancing which always makes me feel like we ought to be wearing “unclean” signs around our necks and ringing bells.

It’s just awful.

Many thanks to those who've said (paraphrasing) "it's been all right, I don't know why you're moaning, it's only been a year, and things will get better soon" - thanks for pointedly invalidating others' feelings and thoughts just because you can.

I am angry at a certain country's government for having ignored the virus and its potential risk until much too late and then lying about it. I've no issues with the people in that country but do for those in charge who made decisions that have had horrible consequences for millions.

I've lost time to live that I do not have to spare and am both sad and livid about that. I get stabby when I hear "restrictions will continue until we say they won't" followed by "we're working hard to make a better future, hang in there" because the two are mutually exclusive.

"What did you do today?" "Nothing." "What have you got on for tomorrow?" "Same as today." It's no way to live.

Many of us are aware that others have tough and difficult lives every day and we understand that having food and shelter is more than others have - but that doesn't mean we aren't devastated by a situation totally out of our control that has impacted us so severely.

I fear there won't be a world to come back to if this doesn't end soon.

@ChewtonRoad 👏

What a difference a day (and a President!) makes.

Yesterday, I was pretty much in despair, and had little hope when looking out to the rest of the year. I also had too little mental bandwidth to see beyond that. At the end of my work day, President Biden announced he had ordered 200 million more vaccines - which means that everyone who needs one can be done by end of July THIS YEAR. I literally gasped and broke down in tears.

it is incredible to be able to look at a time when schools can go back (our California public schools have been off since last March 15) and we can begin to resume some sort of 'normal', albeit a new normal, life here. The incredibly poor management up to a few weeks ago, has meant that we could not look ahead with any certainty to a change this year. Not a positive change, anyway.

I can look forward to hugging my DGS's, and having them in my home again. That is everything.

@BigButtons

Christ, in the grand scheme of things it's not going to last that long. There's an awful lot of histrionics. There's a chance things will never return to how they were pre covid. But you know we've had it good for a long time compared to previous generations. There are people living in horrendous conditions in other parts of the world- permanently- in war torn areas. Time to get some perspective.

I agree BigButtons. Not everyone feels absolute despair over this situation and some of us can see things improving in the future.

@StarsAndsunbeams

Grief seems to be for something permanently lost; this is a temporary state of affairs.

@Lovely1a2b3c You've made an assumption here that no one has suffered permanent loss. And that permanent loss can only mean death and anything else does not justify deep sadness/grief.

Some people have suffered permanent loss but there's also a collective hysteria about the situation, which I find unhelpful.

For those who have lost relatives, jobs etc. I really do feel sorry. For those stuck in apartments or who have lost precious months with terminally ill relatives; I totally understand why they would feel utter despair.

I'm just not sure that it's helpful for everyone to suddenly pretend they are clinically depressed when if restrictions were lifted tomorrow a percentage of those people would just go back to normal.

I am disabled and have lived a lockdown sort of life for about five years; you adjust.

Every time you find the mental reserves to bounce back again you are knocked down by some shifting of the goalposts or new rule or bad news. I think the affect of it is a bit like being abused - the loss of control over your own life, the gaslighting, being denied access to your friends and family, someone else having control over where you go and what you wear.

*And to see it damage your children both now and in the future is the hardest thing.

I don't think normal resilience helps that much. I don't think I'm generally lacking in resilience but nothing prepares you for being cut off from your support network and essentially placed under house arrest for months at a time.*

Wow. That describes it. This thread is a revelation - such a change form all the judging/we must be positive nonsense. There's a place for being positive. But I think being honest is a better way forward in coping with this.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

What makes me irrationally angry - and probably why I should spend less time on MN! - are the people who embrace the lockdown and the restrictions. The people who join every thread to remind us that we're in a pandemic. And emphasise it by prefixing it with the redundant "global". And sometimes write it in capitals.

The ones who have no ability to apply common sense but want us all to slavishly follow the rules - but secretly love it when we don't because they can then hoist themselves on to their extremely high horse and scold us for not caring, for being stupid, for wanting to kill our grandparents.

I am equally enraged by anyone who comes on to a thread to draw some sanctimonious comparison to the war. They seem so pleased with themselves, as if they've just done something incisively profound and clever. Not something tediously lame and predictable, which demonstrates how hard of thinking they are.

Meanwhile the rest of us are mourning the life we used to have and waking up to the slowly dawning realisation that having managed to strip us of our freedom so effectively, the government might not be so keen to return it as they were to remove it.

Oh this this, so much this

@StarsAndsunbeams

How would any of these people cope in the majority of the world?

@Sapho47
What makes you think that posters on here don't know strife? Or have lived in or originate from third world country? RTFT and infer. Tip: empathy will aid you.

Empathy means "putting yourself in the other persons shoes" right?

OK one minute let me just try to imagine I lived through 2030..........

To be honest, people who lived in Britain in WWII reported it was the sense of community that got them through. It was specifically said that shutting ourselves away from each other is one of hardest things to do and has felt harder than during their time in WWII

I would agree with that. It is one of the most unnatural things for humans to do.

That. I'll never understand the WW2 comparisons. I don't see what this has in common at all.