AIBU to have finally snapped?

[ChilliWillies]

Strap yourself in, this will be long. I’ve also name changed as what I’ll write is so identifying if you know me.
DH is a fussy eater. He claims he isn’t and that I’m the ‘weird’ one as I eat almost anything. DS6 is also going through a phase of saying he ‘hates’ the food I’ve made. For the record, I’m a good cook and am often complimented on my food.
I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food, but any new recipe is met with suspicion. I can almost accept this, but what is CANNOT handle is that he changes his fucking mind! Something I made last week that he really enjoyed, this week ‘tastes awful’. I never know if he will like something that week or not. He also has form for getting annoyed about how food is served - I served curry and rice in big pasta bowls once and he made a big performance of tipping it all out onto a plate before he would eat it. I am the only cook - he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.
Last night, I put dinner on the table, DS said ‘yuck, I hate this’ (he doesn’t, he loved it last week, getting this behaviour from his dad 😡) and left the table. DH poked at it dubiously, tried a bit and said ‘this is really bad’. It was some Sicilian Lamb Stew, leftover from the week before, that I’d frozen and then defrosted yesterday, served over a jacket potato. I explained he had liked it last time, and he said ‘what, with a jacket potato?’ I explained last time I’d served it with mashed potato and he literally said ‘oh that will be it then, you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato’!!!! 😡🙄. As if that would change the taste of the stew completely.
So, I actually lost it, stormed out, went to the shop and bought crappy white sliced bread, (he will moan if I buy unsliced bread, or anything with healthy seeds and grains in it) cheap ham, burgers, chicken nuggets and chips. When I got hone, I told him that’s what they were getting from now on, I give up.
He clearly didn’t believe me, because when I made lunch just now I made them plain ham sandwiches and made myself a new chicken story fry with peanut noodles recipe I’d been wanting to try. He’s got the right hump and is now not speaking to me.
So, we’ll done for getting this far. AIBU for subjecting to them to ham sandwiches and beige food for at least two weeks until they realise how good they had it?

1. For the love of god, please stop making your husband's lunch. Just stop. Why do you do this?

1. The situation you describe sounds like Marie Antoinette pronouncing upon whether or not a dish is to her liking. That's not what being the cook of the house is about. You cook, they eat. Not everything will be something they like - it's not a restaurant - although it generally will be.

1. Your husband needs to grow up and become a better example to his son. And you need to stop being a doormat.

I like your style. Being fussy is one thing, but being rude is not on. He should make his own dinner from now on and you can continue to eat nice food.

You are not being unreasonable. You've handled this well! If he doesn't like plain and easy food then he shouldn't be complaining about your well cooked meals!

Stay the course, if he wants something better he'll have to show appreciation.

P.S. As someone who really cannot cook, you are very talented, I wouldn't know where to start with sicilian lamb stew!

you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato

This is so fucking rude. She shouldn't? What he means is "I'd rather have it without that" instead of SHE shouldn't do something.

She hardly blew her top either given this also involved meekly going shopping to provide him with an alternative while somehow thinking she showed him.

If I got told that after cooking a meal, I would tell them they were really bloody rude and leave them to it. It's not his fussiness, it's his mind changing, rudeness and ingratitude. He needs to wake the fuck up.

Why do you even bother..I would have given up long ago.Its ridiculous.If my husband said my food was horrible..he would be wearing it...Sod that.

I’d never cook for either of them again.

Just a little point.
Sicilian lamb stew is served with potato.

I would happily eat it with any potato.

In fact I'd happily eat anything someone else made for me.

YANBU!!

Your DS is copying your DH. Slap the old man down a bit, make him cook for himself and then issue a threat to DS. Eat what your given and be thankful or go hungry! You've been too soft for too long!

Any reason DH can't meal plan and cook himself if he's so fussy?

I meal plan everything as I do SW so I am more restrictive of what I eat than DH but we alternate cooking every evening. I don't understand why you seem to be doing it all, especially given the lack of appreciation and gratitude.

YANBU at all. I'd buy a 'meals for one' recipe book and make yourself some lovely meals and make DH sort himself and DS out.

Ask him to make the meals for the family so he can make sure everything is just to his liking. You’re doing him a favour by abdicating the responsibility he so clearly feels you are incapable of fulfilling!
It’s hard to believe he could be so clueless as to realise just how pathetic his behaviour is or how hurtful and insulting to you his comments are.
You’ve volunteered to do something nice for your family by preparing meals - it isn’t automatically your job - appropriate appreciation should be shown and if he really doesn’t like it or want it again he should get more involved in preparing meals.

Send your husband for an autism assessment. Would explain a lot.

Why are you pandering to someone who clearly treats you like dirt and has no respect or any gratitude for you?

You're not his Mother, so stop acting like it.

You deserve to be waited on hand and foot as well. Tell him to buck up or buck off.

As for your Son - Leave his food on the table and tell him he eats that or he starves. Even if he has to come back to a cold dish. Although, your food might be a little rich and exotic for a younger one - I would take your Son shopping and let him pick put healthy, simple recipes you can make together.

Absolutely right, l told my lot that they’ll get lceland ready meals if l hear any more complaints, instead cooking from scratch for ungrateful lot. To be honest my husband is great he’s delighted with anything l cook, but kids are turning into spoiled brats and l won’t have it. It is partially our fault as we are foodies and got them eating great, diverse food and now stews can’t compare to handmade soft-shell crab roll or bleecker burger 😩
But husband and l will also pretend we eat certain foods while slyly avoiding bits we don’t like, l hate/don’t want to eat this is not allowed, it’s not my favourite/greatest - and answer is: we won’t have it often then...

He sounds like a dick!!

This is ONE of the reasons I divorced my husband!!! He was a dreadfully plain eater and I didn’t want the twins growing up with his habits!! Luckily they eat anything now 😅

@NemosMum21

Send your husband for an autism assessment. Would explain a lot.

Wouldnt explain the rudeness, the lack of manners and the being content to see his son being rude to his own mother.

Actually, what WOULD it explain?

Don’t make him lunch or dinner. Not even a ham sandwich. Absolute pathetic behaviour

No you are not and good on ya . Ungrateful git

I think this is deeper than merely fussy eating. He may have been indulged as a child, but I feel he has learned to use food to control and undermine. The silent treatment is abuse. The lamb incident pure gas lighting . I think you have an emotionally abusive partner in your hands. Sorry OP

I would make sure you eat proper tasty stuff and leave him to get on with the beige food . Miserable sod

Hey OP, haven't RTFT but read all your posts so far & a few others here and there. Def YANBU & I am glad you have some flowers. You have my sympathies. DS2 is ASD and loves something 1 week, the next it is dead to him
I'm mainly posting to ask if I can invite myself round for dinner please? Your food sounds delicious and lovely and I'm very fed up of cooking for all my ungrateful bu$$ers! I'm quite good at baking and desserts so if it's a 'date,' I'll bring pud and

My god, I was getting furious just reading it! Just make what YOU want to eat, taking any of their allergies into account. They are free to eat but if they don’t it will be your dinner the next night and they’ll have to get their own. Don’t reason with them and no arguments. They are just so rude!

I've read the OPs posts.

"This is really bad" - I would have completely lost it. A (real) adult might have said: "Too bad you don't like it, I guess you'll need to sort yourselves out." And meant it, not gone to the store for them. I wouldn't have been so calm.

Flowers are bullshit and a "Calm down, dear!" move.

Pst: He's cooking really slowly because he knows you'll just take over eventually and he'll get out of it (sure this has already been said though.) Send him on a cooking course at Betty's. Christmas present. (I'd love to see his face if you did.)

Good for you, I was born in 1955, just after rationing ended, but food was never ever wasted and there wasn’t much selection in the shops. You were expected to eat what was put in front of you, if not it was brought out at the next meal. There were no snacks, crisps, squash or ready meals, sweets were a weekly treat if we were lucky. To be honest it wasn’t a bad way to be brought up, we were always hungry at meal times and as an adult, I’ll eat , which of course does come with it’s on issues 😂. I find it difficult to deal with fussy eaters, although my granddaughter is one and of course if I look after her, I spoil her with everything she likes, with approval from parents of course!