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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:

DileenODoubts · 10/02/2021 11:56

So they thought he was rating her as an 8 and a bit game as in ‘teacher looks like an 8, bit game’?
Sorry but that is hilarious. I bet she is mortified that she got the head involved so that’s why she’s defensive

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2021 11:57

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game

That's so weird.

I could understand if he'd said Miss X looks like an 8 bit game and they misheard it as 'she looks a bit game'.

But Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game", just doesn't make any sense.

It makes even less sense that they read what he wrote and still came to that conclusion

Unbelievable really.

Comefromaway · 10/02/2021 11:57

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

because you don't make that kind of comment on a class chat?

Don't parents teach any manners to their kids any more?

Of course you do. The chat box is to communicate any issues or if the child doesn't understand something. Well at least that's what my kids schools/college tell them. Any issues whether technical or you missed something or don;t understand something put it in the chat box and the teacher will respond.

BrumBoo · 10/02/2021 11:58

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

because you don't make that kind of comment on a class chat?

Don't parents teach any manners to their kids any more?

What kind of comment? 'The glitch makes someone look like video game character' says 9 year old, like a typical 9 year old. I'm really failing to see what's offensive or ill mannered to the point of requiring any mention beyond 'yes, thanks Daniel but Mrs Jones is trying to teach here'.

KnobblyWand · 10/02/2021 11:58

Yeah that's really weird and petty. I would expect a teacher at our school to laugh, call it a silly misunderstanding and end the call on a positive note, not carry on being stern and mildly threatening.

I can imagine the teacher being a bit embarrassed that she jumped to that conclusion, but they're an adult, they should be able to walk something back without too much difficulty.

Holly60 · 10/02/2021 11:58

It sounds to me like the stern dressing down you got was actually embarrassment on the part of the teachers at being caught out and in the wrong. Also embarrassing for them that they thought a 9 year old would think to rate a woman out of ten and call her a bit game! Quite old fashioned language if they’d thought about it, and he is only bloomin 9!

If you really wanted to, and would feel better, you could write an email along lines of ‘I’m glad we resolved the issue regarding XYZZ and it was clarified that DS was referring to 8 Bit game (insert explanation of what that is if you wish). Can I also just clarify that my son would never use the language that you mistakenly thought he had. He has not been brought up to hear anything of the sort. Please note in future that if you have similar concerns, that you ask me first as I will be able to support you in clarifying what he actually meant. Best, ...’

HoppingPavlova · 10/02/2021 11:58

I would have been chuffed with the 8.....

HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 11:59

@RandomMess

Aren't you legally entitled to withhold rent and use it to pay for repairs instead?

I would put in writing to the landlord that you are not paying rent and instead are paying to get the following repairs carried out and are currently getting repairs.

List everything that needs doing.

Obviously it is going to take many months of rent to save enough to get them done. That way you are not making your intentionally homeless through non payment of rent and getting evicted but legally paying for repairs instead.

I would include in your letter to him that you are no aware of the previous judgments against him or whatever it was of him being a struck of landlord.

More interference in the ether

SignsofSpring · 10/02/2021 11:59

I have not heard about 8 bit games, but now I have, I see what he was trying to tell the rest of the class and the teacher was I can't see them properly! I don't think this was inappropriate at all, the only way the teacher can know that there's connection issues is if everyone tells her!

I wouldn't be apologising or making him feel bad for letting the teacher know something she needs to know if she's to teach anything at all, I need my students to report connection issues with me.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 10/02/2021 11:59

Pair of idiots! I swear I don't know how some people get to be in a position of responsibility for children.

They owe DS & you an apology, that wasn't a leap it was space travel.

Then lying on top that none of the others were having a problem

He wasn't being silly & messing about, he was commenting on his connection. They're 9 year old humans, not auto bots.

Toorapid · 10/02/2021 11:59

We have had some proper issues with the chat feature and inappropriate language and needed to come down hard on it, but we're secondary.

I might not have "got" what DS was saying but I wouldn't have jumped to that conclusion for a 9yo, unless there a reason you would for this particular 9yo?

Worth a call home, possibly, but also a laugh, when she realised what had happened, I'd have thought.

The only thing I will say for the head though, is that this new way of working is incredibly stressful for the staff and if teacher really thought that's what DS meant, it's right that head attempted to make her feel supported.

Also, should he he "chatting" on the chat during the lessons? Presumably he'd be distracting others, even if he wasn't getting the full benefit if the lesson because of the IT issues. Isn't it like chatting in class? Not the biggest crime, but he was misbehaving.

I understand why you're put out but I think it's one to let go.

Confusedandshaken · 10/02/2021 12:00

I wouldn't have understood the 8 bit game reference and I'm old enough to have played them.

I'd let it go. You've spoken to the head who understands. Youve apologised to the teacher. They are probably as embarrassed as you. It's over.

Holly60 · 10/02/2021 12:00

*you could use a slightly affronted tone to really hammer home that the mistake is theirs

DartmoorChef · 10/02/2021 12:00

The comment he made was perfectly fine. Had he made the comment they thought he did it wouldn't have been fine.

If they can't see the funny side of this now they have a clear explanation they are being ridiculous

felineflutter · 10/02/2021 12:00

I still can't stop laughing at this OP. I am in pieces so funny.

LApprentiSorcier · 10/02/2021 12:00

I'm in my late 40s and hadn't heard of it, because I've never been into computer gaming (I don't hate it or anything, just not my cup of tea).

Holly60 · 10/02/2021 12:01

@HoppingPavlova

I would have been chuffed with the 8.....

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2021 12:02

And what 9 year old would use a phrase like 'So and so looks a bit game' anyway?

Too weird.

Original poster

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 12:02

@BrumBoo I have emailed apologising for any disruption and misunderstanding but providing the context to his comment very clearly and providing some picture examples of 8 bit games and how they related to the issues he was having

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer - the chat function is there for them to makes comments. It was the only channel he had to raise his IT issues. I have however spoken to him to ensure he understands to only use it to comment on his work and to remember that it is visible to everyone so he must be careful not to cause any distractions to others.

OP posts:

lioncitygirl · 10/02/2021 12:02

I would have been a bit more angry and annoyed that they have implied that’s what my son said. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Holly60 · 10/02/2021 12:02

FWIW I think he was being quite imaginative and descriptive.

SophieB100 · 10/02/2021 12:03

So young teacher took offence - went to the Head who blew it out of proportion and called you and told you off.
How ridiculous. A more experienced teacher would have handled it herself. A sensible Head would have googled the term and sorted it, before calling you.
I'd definitely send a screen shot of the frozen screen, with an email to the Head, saying that further to your talk (telling off) you are attaching an image which clarifies the comment. I'd also add that you are concerned that they reached the conclusion they did, but hope that they are in doubt that it was an innocent comment made by your DS. Tell Head that you've sent info about what your DS meant to teacher, because you feel that she needs to understand that your DS was not being disrespectful.

They probably feel rather foolish, and not backing down and apologising when you explained the misunderstanding was wrong - but some Heads are unable to do this. Let her know that you're not happy.

You can come off the naughty step now OP

Holly60 · 10/02/2021 12:03

@lioncitygirl

I would have been a bit more angry and annoyed that they have implied that’s what my son said. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I agree actually.

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 12:03

I don't know about how other class calls go, but with both of my kids it's perfectly normal for the kids to write in the chat if they are having trouble following the lesson, the other day they had to tell the teacher her camera had stopped working, sometimes they'll say their sound has cut out or their mic isn't working. Writing in chat is less distracting than just talking over the teacher.

rockingllama · 10/02/2021 12:03

Your son sounds an intelligent and descriptive thinker, the teacher and HT sound narrow minded and judgemental.
Buy her a copy of Viz as an end of term gift and continue to raise your son the way that you are.

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