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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 10/02/2021 12:29

He shouldn't be commenting about anything other than schoolwork - a lot of schools will follow this up and remind people about typing non-school related things in the chat.

Looking like an 8 out of 10 and an 8-bit game are completely different. Do you think they misunderstood him or you misunderstood them?

If you think they misunderstood him - I would definitely contact them as that would be really rude of your son and I do think it should be made clear.

Although I feel like you may have misunderstood them - just because I don't know any 9-year-olds who speak like that!

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 10/02/2021 12:29

^That's the nitendo version. This is atari.

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?
Original poster
8bitgame · 10/02/2021 12:31

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams I am SO doing that Grin

I keep veering between rolling my eyes and moving on and being annoyed that they took this approach and concerned that they would think that and handle what would actually have been a safeguarding issue if true so badly.

I'm going to assume that my email and the helpful pictures cover it (and are now on record) and that everyone can move on. But should he appear to be in any trouble this afternoon or if it comes up again I will be making my concerns very clear.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 10/02/2021 12:31

Sorry I commented too slowly. I think you have done the right thing OP.

TrialOfStyle · 10/02/2021 12:32

Although I feel like you may have misunderstood them - just because I don't know any 9-year-olds who speak like that!

Do you know a lot of 9 year olds who call women 'a bit game' instead?

PolloDePrimavera · 10/02/2021 12:33

They are being ridiculous! Your DS is a year older than mine but I cannot imagine mine would be referring to looks in a year... And "game" is really not exactly current vernacular! I'd send an email saying on reflection, you're disappointed that a conclusion was jumped to but that you wish to hear no more about it. Or something , I like to have the last word though ;-).

fruitbrewhaha · 10/02/2021 12:33

I would follow this up with a letter to the head and the governors.

It is totally inappropriate to sexualise the actions and comments of a 9 year old. That they jumped to that conclusion and didn't stop to look up the reference is a terrible display of prejudice that would make me question the head and or the teacher, is that the kind of language they use or are used to? Is there a safeguarding issue at the school ? Are there children at the school who use this kind of language ? If a child said they were reading about beavers and going to draw a picture for their class project would they be getting a phone call?

qalb · 10/02/2021 12:34

@8bitgame

I do get they might not have understood what an 8 bit game is but it's a bit of a leap to him rubbing his thighs and calling his teacher "a bit game" and rating her a solid 8. Hmm
I keep coming back to laugh at this Grin

Completely bonkers situation OP

cultkid · 10/02/2021 12:36

Omg I love this

Faultymain5 · 10/02/2021 12:36

@toocold54

He shouldn't be commenting about anything other than schoolwork - a lot of schools will follow this up and remind people about typing non-school related things in the chat.

Looking like an 8 out of 10 and an 8-bit game are completely different. Do you think they misunderstood him or you misunderstood them?

If you think they misunderstood him - I would definitely contact them as that would be really rude of your son and I do think it should be made clear.

Although I feel like you may have misunderstood them - just because I don't know any 9-year-olds who speak like that!

If he can't do schoolwork because of connection issues, how and where should he let them know. My DD is in high school, so that's the spot, but maybe it's different in a school that your DC attends/you teach in.
RonObvious · 10/02/2021 12:38

Although I feel like you may have misunderstood them - just because I don't know any 9-year-olds who speak like that!

You should listen to my 7 year old talk about Minecraft servers, or the different ways to run Minecraft Pocket Edition on a Mac. If kids are really interested in something, then their knowledge base can be extraordinary. Now, if I could only get him to apply the same focus to his school work...

Faultymain5 · 10/02/2021 12:39

I find it interesting that many posters are saying to just let it go, given the school was so offended, it went from 0-60 in practically no time.

IcedLimes · 10/02/2021 12:40

I understood what the comment meant as my teenaged dds used a similar comment last week and I was aware of what 8 bit meant. I think you were right to send an email explanation. Did you CC the Head? I would, just to be sure she understands that they misunderstood the comment.

Staffy1 · 10/02/2021 12:40

I would send the screenshot and explain again that what he said was totally innocent and wasn't a comment on her appearance at all, but on the computer picture, and that you don't think there is any reason for you to be apologising, or them to be annoyed now that they have had it explained to them.

ArosAdraDrosDolig · 10/02/2021 12:41

School are bonkers! I’d have to put it in writing to the Head that on reflection your son did nothing wrong and they have misinterpreted and jumped to conclusions, along with a screenshot.

I don’t know what an 8 bit game is! But sounds like he was explaining his connection problems which is completely appropriate.

Stupid school!

tatutata · 10/02/2021 12:42

Schools often seem a bit keen to jump on stuff.. I got a call from the head because my son was a bit upset when my DH picked him up from school. She was implying there was some other issue, like she was inviting me to say my DH was wrong. Weird.

WittyUser · 10/02/2021 12:42

I (a) am impressed he knows what an 8 bit game is, and (b) think it's a good simile!
As PP have said, surely you'd just google "8 bit game" and come to the same conclusion!

Original poster
8bitgame · 10/02/2021 12:42

@RonObvious - totally Grin

We've had actual tears this morning trying to think of two fronted adverbials that could be used when talking about rivers.

But ask him about Minecraft and he could give a full Ted talk with technical diagrams and in-depth breakdown of server types and operating systems Confused

OP posts:
hansgrueber · 10/02/2021 12:42

@Sheleg

What a ridiculous situation! The teacher and Head need to give their heads a wobble. I swear, this pandemic has sent a lot of people doolally.
I would include the OP in that too. Do people really have nothing better to do with their time?
blowonitthen · 10/02/2021 12:42

Given she still gave you a telling off even after you had explained they had got it wrong, I'd be emailing, reiterating what actually happened, and saying that on reflection, you think they should be apologising to you/DS.

stackemhigh · 10/02/2021 12:42

YABU, he commented specifically about his teacher. He didn't say the screen looks like an 8 bit game.

Sounds like he knew he was being cheeky.

IcedLimes · 10/02/2021 12:42

I agree that "bit game" would be an old fashioned comment for a 9 year old. Grin My mum would use that comment and she's in her late 70s. It would be a bit old fashioned for me and I'm in my 50s Grin

hansgrueber · 10/02/2021 12:44

@tatutata

Schools often seem a bit keen to jump on stuff.. I got a call from the head because my son was a bit upset when my DH picked him up from school. She was implying there was some other issue, like she was inviting me to say my DH was wrong. Weird.
And yet if something were wrong and the school ignored it you'd be all the MN specials, fuming for one.
IcedLimes · 10/02/2021 12:46

Dd1 has played Minecraft since she was 8 and is now 16 Smile

Okokokbear · 10/02/2021 12:48

@TrialOfStyle

Although I feel like you may have misunderstood them - just because I don't know any 9-year-olds who speak like that!

Do you know a lot of 9 year olds who call women 'a bit game' instead?

Haha! I'm laughing at the thought of a 9 year old boy speaking like an old man from th 1960s!
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