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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:
Respectabitch · 10/02/2021 11:46

I think everyone is stressed, virtual communication is hard, wires get crossed. They overreacted and misunderstood but these things happen.

I don't think there's much point in dwelling. Have a little chat with your DC about using the chat for silly comments, take a deep breath, and forgive everyone and let it go.

DimidDavilby · 10/02/2021 11:46

Wtf! I can't believe thats what they took from his comment. I think they should apologise for a bizarre reach!

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 11:47

@AbsitivelyPosolutely

Would a 9 year old even know what "bit game" means? Or am I being naive?

I think I'd feel the same as you. I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself ringing the head back.

I'm picturing a middle aged man trapped in the body of a 9 year old, in a freaky Friday type scenario 😂
growinggreyer · 10/02/2021 11:47

I think you should send an email of the 'thank you for your call today where we discussed ... and we concluded ...' just so that it is on record. Schools do keep information on file and you don't know what the Head or the teacher herself have written. It might seem to have blown over but could come back up later on and they might not have the same memory of the phone call as you.

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:47

He knows what an 8 bit game is as he is really into retro gaming and watches a lot of You Tube stuff about old SNES games etc. I appreciate that his school may well not have got the reference but as a PP said - could they not just have asked him to explain what he meant rather than getting an angry Headteacher to ring me with hints of safeguarding issues and frosty censure.

Anyway - as long as no more is said to him on the matter I'm happy to draw a line and move on but I'm just a bit Hmm by the stretch they made here.

OP posts:
DimidDavilby · 10/02/2021 11:48

How old are they? Surely an 8 bit game is fairly understood term, unlike "a bit game" which sounds distinctly Carry on ie about 50 years out of date!

TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe · 10/02/2021 11:49

I'm surprised he knows what an 8-bit game is. And surprised the school don't.

Normally I'd side with the school with all issues regarding the discipline of (other people's) children, but in this case your son hasn't done anything wrong and you need to make your complaint more formal.

Even if everyone else's connection is fine, your own might drop out or be weak. Working from home myself, going in Teams calls all day, dropouts occur all the time.

Comefromaway · 10/02/2021 11:49

@AbsitivelyPosolutely

Would a 9 year old even know what "bit game" means? Or am I being naive?

I think I'd feel the same as you. I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself ringing the head back.

Yes, there is quite a resurgence of retro games amongst kids at the moment.
8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:49

I have emailed his teacher directly to apologise for any disruption but also to explain the context of his comment. Including a couple of pictures of 8 bit games for clarity.

OP posts:
Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 11:50

YABU

It was inappropriate anyway

you don't know how many parents contacted the school to complain if they saw the message

and the head has a duty to ensure people stay appropriate

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:50

His teacher is quite young (mid to late 20s?) so 8 bit games may well have passed her by. Head Teacher is in her 50s I would guess.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 10/02/2021 11:50

I love how todays kids wouldn't be out of place in the 80's what with Retro gaming and Rick Astley etc etc

poppycat10 · 10/02/2021 11:51

Why did they make assumptions? They could have just called you to ask what it meant as they didn't know. If indeed they had enough time in their busy lives to do so.

Dear oh dear.

Comefromaway · 10/02/2021 11:52

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

YABU

It was inappropriate anyway

you don't know how many parents contacted the school to complain if they saw the message

and the head has a duty to ensure people stay appropriate

How on earth was that comment inapropriate.

A 9 year old retro gaming nerd using something he understands and connects with to inform his teacher that he cannot follow the lesson because of technical problems is NOT inappropriate.

poppycat10 · 10/02/2021 11:52

@Comefromaway

I love how todays kids wouldn't be out of place in the 80's what with Retro gaming and Rick Astley etc etc
I was out for a walk with my husband a few months ago. We were on a path which is a disused railway line and passed under a railway bridge where a bunch of teens were sitting listening to Spandau Ballet's "True" with a CD player next to them - not listening to it on their phones. We joked that we'd disappeared down a wormhole to the 1980s Grin
8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:52

He did actually Rick Roll me the other day @Comefromaway Grin

The 80s must be back in style

OP posts:
Newlyblubberised · 10/02/2021 11:52

@8bitgame your subsequent comments about this are making me laugh 😂 rubbing his thighs 70s sitcom family

BrumBoo · 10/02/2021 11:53

Can you email the teacher? Something along the lines of 'sorry that you misread 8 bit game as something rather offensive, these glitches can make us look like Minecraft characters according to son! Have spoken to son, and he knows no more silly comments on Zoom, only things related to the lesson. He'll back in class tomorrow, barring anymore tech issues.'.

Basically, a sorry-not sorry for crossed wires and that you for one are not blaming your son for her misunderstanding. Unless she's much older, most people know what an 8 bit game is, they've been around since the 80s at least.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 11:53

because you don't make that kind of comment on a class chat?

Don't parents teach any manners to their kids any more?

redcarbluecar · 10/02/2021 11:54

This made me laugh. School are being OTT and you’ve done your bit by speaking to DS.
I have a class this afternoon so will ask them to rate me out of 10 and comment on my level of ‘game’. Smile

HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 11:54

It's about fairness, isn't it? Schools demand that pupils are not unfair to each other.

And yet they are being unfair to him!

They've realised they look like idiots, but can't be seen to totally back down.

felineflutter · 10/02/2021 11:54

I just feel like they think we are some strange 70s sitcom family where DH leans out of the widow shouting a passing "birds" for having cracking knockers and DS has clearly picked up on this behaviour.........

Grin You have cheered me up today. What a funny thing to happen. I would laugh about it tbh.

Comefromaway · 10/02/2021 11:55

My son is almost 17 now and he LOVES the 80's. Sunday morning he was in the shower singing A-Ha & Toto at the top of his voice.

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 11:55

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

because you don't make that kind of comment on a class chat?

Don't parents teach any manners to their kids any more?

What? Explaining what technical problems you are having is rude??
RandomMess · 10/02/2021 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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