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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do people like this actually exist?

188 replies

Stingebag100 · 10/02/2021 10:45

Backstory (have posted this before) - next door neighbour moved in few months ago. As soon as she came she made friends with few households on our cul-de-sac. Thought ok, just being friendly which is nice. Noticed she was asking more and more favours from men on street (and my husband). Help me paint this, can you come and pour some concrete, can you help me put some plaster on walls etc. Fine, she just needs some help and can’t afford to pay someone yet. Fast forward to present time, she is a CF on all levels! She had been coming around our house regularly (in our bubble) just to socialise a bit and see actual people as she is on her own furloughed. One night she came and our male friend was here and they hit it off, he is really into her and they have been meeting regularly. He has noticed that every time she messages him (which is every single day) it’s because she wants something. She wants a lift here or needs to pick up something here (sometimes up to an hour drive). Every time they go out he buys lunch (she will always make an excuse to not pay) and has now ended his friendship with her as he has realised she is a user. Since then she’s been messaging me asking if I can drive her here or drive her there ETC. I am at home with two children under 3 and definitely not going anywhere. She even asked me today, in this snow!
Am I right in thinking this is my life now? I think I need to construct a message or sentence to say to her to get her to leave me alone! CFCFCF!!

OP posts:
islockdownoveryet · 10/02/2021 12:27

It’s a good point if you were following the rules then this wouldn’t be a problem would it ?. So it’s kinda your own making op not that you’ll be back to update us . But good luck with your erm cf neighbour .

MummyDummyNow · 10/02/2021 12:28

Totally agree with @Dannydevitoiloveyourart You can't just see your mates and say "oh it's ok we're in a bubble" No wonder we've been in lockdown for nearly a year when people are STILL behaving like this.
Yes your mates a CF but so are you.

Rainbowsandstorms · 10/02/2021 12:30

Argh the use of the phase ‘they are in my bubble’ to justify rule breaking! You get one bubble not three! I’ve not seen my parents or anyone outside my household for months behaviour like this drives me crazy. Simple solution you stick to one bubble as is in the rules, problem solved!

SummerBlondey · 10/02/2021 12:33

Whatever she asks, just tell her "It's Impossibubble" Wink

GCAcademic · 10/02/2021 12:33

You are worse than she is, with your multiplicity of "bubbles".

toocold54 · 10/02/2021 12:34

I can't wait to have my party this weekend - 250 guests so far - but it's ok because they're all in my bubble Hmm

The more I think about it, the more I think this may be a fake post/troll.

knittingaddict · 10/02/2021 12:35

I wouldn't get too invested in this thread.

thosetalesofunexpected · 10/02/2021 12:36

@islockdownoveryet
Why on earth would op want to see cheecky Fucker neighbour after Lockdown L.o.l !?😕😂😂

GabsAlot · 10/02/2021 12:37

the only bubble i have is n my bath

GCAcademic · 10/02/2021 12:38

@knittingaddict

I wouldn't get too invested in this thread.
Yes, I think you're right.
Aquagirl19 · 10/02/2021 12:42

@FuriousWithTheNHS

'We are in a bubble' seems to be the new get out clause for 'We are just carrying on as normal and doing whatever the fuck we want.'
Totally agree! My neighbour has a network of about 20 people all from different households but its ok coz they're in her "bubble". Pisses me right off.
Lovemusic33 · 10/02/2021 12:44

@WorraLiberty

The OP has more bubbles than a foam party, yet her neighbour is the cheeky fucker? 🤣🤣
This 🤣 I don’t think op gets the bubble thing, she has this neighbour round and her partner has his mate over, surely she’s not even meant to have a bubble as she’s not a single person yet she has 2 people combing over who are now involved with each other, neighbour has people running around after her left right and centre, OP giving her lifts in her car.

OP should just tell everyone to fuck off and tell them she’s sticking to covid rules, not bubbling up with random people.

lottiegarbanzo · 10/02/2021 12:45

More bubbles than on a threadful of frothing Mumsnetters, eh OP?

PursuingProxemicExactitude · 10/02/2021 12:46

Is it that all these Aero people genuinely don't understand how the virus is transmitted?

Or is it that they just do not care about anyone but themselves?

ProfessorPootle · 10/02/2021 12:49

There's lots of people about like this unfortunately. Had a flatmate at uni exactly the same, she'd come out to the pub without any money, stand at the bar when everyone was ordering and sadly order herself a water. It worked for a while. She'd help herself to my clothes (and underwear!) and go on an evening out, found her in the art dept. painting once wearing my brand new white cashmere jumper my mum had got me for Christmas, made here take it straight off! These people don't understand the word no and also have very thick skins so aren't offended. Just keep saying no, if she's nice company in other ways might be worth staying friendly but if not ignore / say no and repeat.

NuniaBeeswax · 10/02/2021 12:50

"More bubbles than on a threadful of frothing Mumsnetters, eh OP?"

Bingo

KitKat1985 · 10/02/2021 12:51

  1. Okay, firstly you can't have 3 people in your 'bubble' (I.E, CF, your Mum, and your male friend).

  2. You say CF does childcare for you. Out of interest are you paying her for this or is she doing it as a favour for you? I'm only asking as if she's doing you a lot of childcare favours then her asking you for favours in return is less cheeky.

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/02/2021 12:56

I don't know OP but it's absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible to have multiple people over INSIDE your home during the pandemic. Two of them bloody at once from separate households is like you're actively taking the piss really.

If you are in a bubble with her, she can't meet indoors with anyone else, and nor can your household, if you've chosen to bubble with her she is the only person you can see. It isn't as though people are dying in the thousands or anything is it. You're right though the problem here is whether or not she gets too much done for free from others Confused

She's cheeky clearly and you know she exists so that answers your question. More fool the people that do it all for her though.

BigBadVoodooHat · 10/02/2021 13:06

I don’t understand this at all. Confused

Why would you need to ask ‘Do people like this actually exist?’ when you have provided a derailed summary of such a person apparently existing next door to you?

Why would you make up your own ‘bubble rules’ in order to ‘bubble’ with someone that you didn’t know as soon as they moved in?

If she’s only lived there a couple of months and you’ve already posted about it on here, why have you name-changed to post about it again?

It all seems rather strange.

BobbidyBob · 10/02/2021 13:11

Oh I got sucked in. But PP are right, this has been written with a goal in mind, hasn’t it. Ugh. Annoyingly, even if this isn’t real, there are so many people out there actually doing the things OP is writing about.

sneakysnoopysniper · 10/02/2021 13:13

I can see how you can get sucked into this kind of relationship with a needy person. I once filled up a DLA form for an older lady (near but not immediate neighbour) and then suddenly found myself helping with shopping and lots of other tasks when I myself had a demanding full time job and mobility issues. She was constantly round at my house because I was an academic who WAH and she knew I was in.

Eventually I told her the uni had stopped WAH and I had to attend my office 5 days a week. Fortunately she did not go out evenings so that helped put distance. Then I began being more and more unavailable and hard to contact, not answering door or phone. When I saw her I cultivated a brisk "busy busy must get on" manner so had no time to stop and get chivvied into things.

I should have been more assertive and simply said "no" but thats difficult to do when you feel a bit sorry for somone old and lonely.

Eventually she got her claws into someone else and I rarely saw her, then she moved away.

In your case I see a choice between coming out straight with telling her that its time she pulled up her big girl pants and did more for herself. You could suggest that she is getting herself a bit of a bad reputation with others for being a bit of a "taker".

Alternately you can "do distance" by being busy, unavailable and not answering calls in the hope that she gets the message.

Derbee · 10/02/2021 13:15

Troll hunting and speculating is against the rules here. So I guess I won’t comment

evenBetter · 10/02/2021 13:16

You both sound perfectly suited as piss takers. Form a best friends ‘bubble’ where you all just go into houses and wee jaunts out all day every day, fuck everyone else, eh?

Neversleepingever · 10/02/2021 13:17

What in the Jeremy Kyle is this!?

user1471538283 · 10/02/2021 13:18

The thing is you don't mind helping now and then but when it seems all the time! I had a neighbour who constantly wanted something picking up at the shops after I left work. Then wanted a couple of eggs or milk or something from our home. A lift would turn into several drop offs taking ages.

Most of us have enough to do to get our own circuses on the road without having to do it for someone else as well unless they are close friends and do the same for you!