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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do people like this actually exist?

188 replies

Stingebag100 · 10/02/2021 10:45

Backstory (have posted this before) - next door neighbour moved in few months ago. As soon as she came she made friends with few households on our cul-de-sac. Thought ok, just being friendly which is nice. Noticed she was asking more and more favours from men on street (and my husband). Help me paint this, can you come and pour some concrete, can you help me put some plaster on walls etc. Fine, she just needs some help and can’t afford to pay someone yet. Fast forward to present time, she is a CF on all levels! She had been coming around our house regularly (in our bubble) just to socialise a bit and see actual people as she is on her own furloughed. One night she came and our male friend was here and they hit it off, he is really into her and they have been meeting regularly. He has noticed that every time she messages him (which is every single day) it’s because she wants something. She wants a lift here or needs to pick up something here (sometimes up to an hour drive). Every time they go out he buys lunch (she will always make an excuse to not pay) and has now ended his friendship with her as he has realised she is a user. Since then she’s been messaging me asking if I can drive her here or drive her there ETC. I am at home with two children under 3 and definitely not going anywhere. She even asked me today, in this snow!
Am I right in thinking this is my life now? I think I need to construct a message or sentence to say to her to get her to leave me alone! CFCFCF!!

OP posts:
DoItAfraid · 10/02/2021 11:59

I cannot get past you breaking the Covid rules when some of us haven't seen our family members for over a year.

People like you make me so cross OP.

Devlesko · 10/02/2021 12:00

You invited her into your life knowing what she was like Confused

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 10/02/2021 12:01

Why are you having so many people round to your house?!

I swear people make their own rules about bubbles these days

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/02/2021 12:02

mate + CF neighbour form their own bubble - problem solved

NotSorry · 10/02/2021 12:04

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

mate + CF neighbour form their own bubble - problem solved
The mate has already wised up and binned the CF neighbour
friendlycat · 10/02/2021 12:04

Do you not realise the irony of what you have posted?
Firstly you say she wants lifts here there and everywhere from you or this random man she met at your house who has now refused her due to the frequency of the requests. In the next breath you state she never leaves the house apart to come and see you.

Just no no no. You both need to get a grip on what the current rules and regulations are. This is just not allowed at present so use this as your excuse as to why you cannot do this anymore as you should not have been doing it in the first place.

PursuingProxemicExactitude · 10/02/2021 12:05

[quote Stingebag100]@whatswithtodaytoday she does only see us as she is on her own next door, I never see her leave her house unless it’s to come here. We also don’t meet with anyone apart from essential working, her and my mum as she does childcare for us. Our male friend comes to us as he is vulnerable on his own and also doesn’t meet anyone else. I realise we have broken the rules[/quote]
Why are you doing this? Deliberately and continuously.

Just. Why?

HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 12:05

[quote Stingebag100]@whatswithtodaytoday she does only see us as she is on her own next door, I never see her leave her house unless it’s to come here. We also don’t meet with anyone apart from essential working, her and my mum as she does childcare for us. Our male friend comes to us as he is vulnerable on his own and also doesn’t meet anyone else. I realise we have broken the rules[/quote]
Then tell her that he is now your bubble, not her.

toocold54 · 10/02/2021 12:06

I realise we have broken the rules

It's called karma.
A simple solution - follow the rules like everyone else does and you won't have this problem.

Candyfloss99 · 10/02/2021 12:06

So you have at least 3 different bubbles? You are allowed one!!!!!

Of course people like this exist but they can only exist if there are people stupid enough not to say no to them.

Very easily solved now, you tell her you realise you've been breaking the rules and you are bubbled with your other friend so cannot be bubbled with her and she'll need to find someone not already in a bubble to bubble with.

Eeeeeeeeeeeek · 10/02/2021 12:07

@DoItAfraid

I cannot get past you breaking the Covid rules when some of us haven't seen our family members for over a year.

People like you make me so cross OP.

Snap It's just bloody ridiculous, I question why I have made so many sacrifices & why we have these guidelines when people like the OP just carry on Unfucking believable
HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 12:08

Actually, it's people like you who I didn't realise really existed - constantly flouting the Covid regulations, and always having an "excuse"!

Justcallmebebes · 10/02/2021 12:09

Very flimsy "bubble" hun

HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 12:09

You're flouting the regs, she's flouting the regs, your male friend is flouting the regs... No wonder we're in this state Angry

BobbidyBob · 10/02/2021 12:09

For a start, you can stop using the word “bubble” because that’s not what you’re doing. You’re breaking rules/bending them as you see fit, and using terminology that doesn’t match your actions to feel better about it.

Just say no - why do some people find this so hard? Confused

Bythemillpond · 10/02/2021 12:12

I am always amazed on these threads that the men folk are all really good at diy.

I could send my husband round to help her out. She would have to move after because he would probably make her house uninhabitable.
He was once asked by a female neighbour to help shut her garage door. He broke it. She never asked him for anything again😀
Garage door never worked again

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2021 12:14

Did you you say foam party? Well I suppose it’s useful to hide from the coppers when you’re flouting the rules.

Do people like this actually exist?
MrsMoastyToasty · 10/02/2021 12:15

Tell her that you suspect you have covid.

ddl1 · 10/02/2021 12:17

Two possibilities: (1) You could say that she seems to need a lot of lifts, help, etc., and that, much as you would like to help anyone who needs it, you simply cannot, as you have two children under 3 - that should have been obvious to her from the start but some people need such things hammered in; (2) You could cite Covid rules, and that you have been made aware that you are breaking them, and you don't want trouble with the police!

grapewine · 10/02/2021 12:18

@IloveFebruary

So you get childcare from your mother. You get to ‘bubble’ with your neighbour and you have friends round who you casually declare are vulnerable (but ok to take girls out on dates, drive them for hours and do odd jobs as well as go to their mates houses socialising)?

I’m out.

Yeah, sorry, but your neighbour isn't the only cheeky fucker here.
HelloThereMeHearties · 10/02/2021 12:18

@Justcallmebebes

Very flimsy "bubble" hun
Yeah, and I'll bet that the OP's mother is flouting the regs as well...
Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 12:19

I cannot get past you breaking the Covid rules when some of us haven't seen our family members for over a year.

Yes, it does make it a bit difficult to engage with the OP's dilemma.

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 10/02/2021 12:22

I’m really starting to get pissed off with threads like these. I haven’t seen my mum or siblings for a year. Only bubbled with the in laws for childcare help once the schools closed as didn’t want to put them at risk.

Then I see threads like this wonder what’s the fucking point of following the rules and being responsible when people like OP don’t give a shit and make constant excuses. I’m so tired of it all now. So many selfish arseholes.

Funnily enough I couldn’t care less about your predicament OP. If you were respecting lockdown you wouldn’t be in this situation at all.

Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 12:25

I’m so tired of it all now

Yes, it makes me feel as though all of our sacrifices a bit pointless and that we're never going to get out of this situation.

subsy1 · 10/02/2021 12:25

If either of you exist, just say "No."!

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