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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do people like this actually exist?

188 replies

Stingebag100 · 10/02/2021 10:45

Backstory (have posted this before) - next door neighbour moved in few months ago. As soon as she came she made friends with few households on our cul-de-sac. Thought ok, just being friendly which is nice. Noticed she was asking more and more favours from men on street (and my husband). Help me paint this, can you come and pour some concrete, can you help me put some plaster on walls etc. Fine, she just needs some help and can’t afford to pay someone yet. Fast forward to present time, she is a CF on all levels! She had been coming around our house regularly (in our bubble) just to socialise a bit and see actual people as she is on her own furloughed. One night she came and our male friend was here and they hit it off, he is really into her and they have been meeting regularly. He has noticed that every time she messages him (which is every single day) it’s because she wants something. She wants a lift here or needs to pick up something here (sometimes up to an hour drive). Every time they go out he buys lunch (she will always make an excuse to not pay) and has now ended his friendship with her as he has realised she is a user. Since then she’s been messaging me asking if I can drive her here or drive her there ETC. I am at home with two children under 3 and definitely not going anywhere. She even asked me today, in this snow!
Am I right in thinking this is my life now? I think I need to construct a message or sentence to say to her to get her to leave me alone! CFCFCF!!

OP posts:
LunaHeather · 10/02/2021 11:44

@ivykaty44

say

I am not going to run errands for you, get a taxi, plumber, workman etc
I will be happy to do the occasional favour but Im not happy about your constant requests for help

Don't even offer the occasional favour

Tell her you will not be "helping" and that's that.

Jobsharenightmare · 10/02/2021 11:45

"more bubbles than a foam party" Star

Mittens030869 · 10/02/2021 11:45

* 'We are in a bubble' seems to be the new get out clause for 'We are just carrying on as normal and doing whatever the fuck we want.'*

^Yep, in a nutshell.

CakeIsEternal · 10/02/2021 11:46

You get to be part of one bubble. Either the niegubour, your mum for childcare or your male friend. You dont get t have 3 different bubbles.

The trouble you're having now with this woman is karma. Dont break the rules and you wouldn't be dealing with her at all.

Chewingle · 10/02/2021 11:46

She’s just seeing your family
She’s part of your bubble
You are obviously very close
She’s asked for favours as on her own

And yet here you are - bitching about her.

Nice.

Chewingle · 10/02/2021 11:48

And if she’s part of your bubble
Why is she going out for lunch with your male friend (who is also in your bubble Hmm)

MacDuffsMuff · 10/02/2021 11:48

@AbsitivelyPosolutely

I just can't anymore.
Yep. Me neither.
NuniaBeeswax · 10/02/2021 11:48

"do people like this actually exist"

Only in made up stories like these.

Mrgrinch · 10/02/2021 11:49

[quote Stingebag100]@whatswithtodaytoday she does only see us as she is on her own next door, I never see her leave her house unless it’s to come here. We also don’t meet with anyone apart from essential working, her and my mum as she does childcare for us. Our male friend comes to us as he is vulnerable on his own and also doesn’t meet anyone else. I realise we have broken the rules[/quote]
How can she be asking for lifts every day but also not leaving the house?

Okay so you illegal 'bubble' consists of:

  1. your household
  2. your neighbour's household
  3. your mother's household
  4. her mother's household
  5. random lonely friend's household

And you seriously expect people to care about her asking for too many favours?

You are the cheeky one. Disgusting, you know it's illegal and you can't even be bothered to make up an excuse.

ClangingChimesofDoom · 10/02/2021 11:50

Its almost totally unbelievable!

ShalomToYouJackie · 10/02/2021 11:50

So you're in a bubble with her, you're in a bubble with your mate and she's been going for lunch and getting in a car with your mate too?

MrsEricBana · 10/02/2021 11:51

I am a bit speechless about all this. 1. How can you possibly not understand the rules by now? 2. Just say no.

Chewingle · 10/02/2021 11:51

Anyone willing to take a bet that the OP won’t be back?!

knittingaddict · 10/02/2021 11:51

@Atalune

You know that’s not how bubbles work???

Just say no. She’ll stop asking soon enough.

I'm so glad that someone said this first. I was sitting on my hands. Is op not in UK, maybe?
minipie · 10/02/2021 11:52

Bloody hell you’ve broken the rules all over the place.

So has she

Sure she’s a CF but pot and kettle jumps to mind. It’s hard to have sympathy tbh.

HoppingPavlova · 10/02/2021 11:52

I don’t think this is uncommon sadly. I once had a neighbour move in, house was very run down. They quickly got a boyfriend who just so happened to be a builder. He did a lot of work, took several months and when it was done she gave him the boot. She immediately acquired another boyfriend - luckily a plumber! He did a lot of work and then she moved him on. Enter the electrician who was kept on for a few months. The grand finale was a painter. We felt so sorry for the guys, only had brief over the fence neighbourly encounters but they all seemed to be nice, decent blokes.

oneglassandpuzzled · 10/02/2021 11:54

How can you be in a bubble with her but still have a male friend around as well? If you're in a bubble, it's with one person, who's living alone.

knittingaddict · 10/02/2021 11:55

This feels like a post that got lost in the ether and has just landed, out of time and space.

Weird bubbles?
Lunches out?
Driving here, there and everywhere?

I'm intrigued.

JellyNellie · 10/02/2021 11:55

We have one like this in our village!
Absolute mess,was asking OW DHs for little jobs ect around the house and then told the village she had been with sleeping with somebody's DH which was a lie!
Lots of people was feeling sorry for her as she had been moved here to protect her children! And now nobody actually likes her so once again she's lonely!
She would often ask to lend money,fags,lifts ect
Women like this need warning signs!
Tell her you realise you've been breaking covid rules and to protect your children she can no longer be in your "bubble"

digbygreen · 10/02/2021 11:56
  1. You have a tongue in your head. Just say no!
  2. That's not how bubbles work. At all.
Hettya · 10/02/2021 11:57

Just say no i can't help with that, sorry. And keep saying it. You don't have to explain why. It gets easier after the first few times.

saraclara · 10/02/2021 11:57

Normally I hate it when people come onto threads about other things to be the covid police.

But in this case it's well deserved.
OP, decide which ONE of these people you're bubbling with, and tell the others you screwed up, and sorry you can't see them while lockdown is on.

knittingaddict · 10/02/2021 11:57

Ok just seen the second post.

I still need to know about lunches out!

Really people should make their threads covid compliant.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/02/2021 11:58

she exists Grin
she is not a figment of your imagination nightmares

at least you have the bubble mistake excuse to reduce contact
hopefully she'll be so hacked off she won't return after lockdown (but she sounds very thick skinned).

ktp100 · 10/02/2021 11:59
  1. Bubbles are for necessity, not socialising.
  2. She's a CF
  3. This will only be your 'life from now on' if you allow it to be.
  4. Just. Say. NO.
  5. Every. Single. Time!
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