It's a Parking One

[ILoveFlumps]

Ok mumsnetters I need some ideas.
I popped out for 10 minutes this morning and come home to a random car on my driveway (outside my house). This is private property and allocated parking for a New Build. The Main Street it's off is permit parking only - this car has a permit.
The only place I can park is blocking it in causing a semi obstruction which I've done.
Police won't help as a civil matter.
Note has been left on the car by me telling them it's private property.
What else can I do?! Immediate neighbours have no idea whose car this is.

Well handled @ILoveFlumps I think you dealt with it perfectly and having done care work in the past I can confirm that they’re not all wonderful saints and should indeed be told clearly when they’re taking the piss.

Whether you're a carer or a plumber, and whether it's an emergency or not, you should still park so as not to block or inconvenience someone. There are really very few times when there isn't an alternative to causing serious inconvenience to someone else. Even if it's an "emergency", a plumber has no automatic right to block a drive or park on double yellows etc - he'd still get a parking ticket as he's not exempt.

No, I completely agree with you. It was just that somebody upthread seemed to be suggesting that, unlike a plumber, a carer should be given a free pass for parking somewhere inappropriate - my point was that neither of them has the right to do that. Ambulance/fire engine/police on an emergency call: I don't think most people would quibble that; but just about anybody else, no.

If the OP was a man and the carer was a woman most people would find it much more uncomfortable

I'm sure they would. But that's not what happened is it.

[quote Whythesadface]@Christinaismyperson
There are no shades of gray in this story.
The Man was Wrong.
OP was right.
All the Man had to do was not park on her drive.
We are not telling story's again, there is no reverse to make it a man attacking a woman, that is not what happened.

Your wrong accept it.[/quote]
Eh?

I’m not saying he was right. He WAS wrong to park there, I’ve said it already. More than once.

That doesn’t make what the OP claims to have said to him ok. A simple (not even polite) “don’t park on my drive again or I will take it further” would have made the point without the rest.

Why was the unpleasantness needed? Genuine question, why do you think it needed to go beyond an initial ticking off to belittling nastiness?

Is it the best way to deal with people who do something wrong? Next time someone cuts the queue in the supermarket should I not accept an initial apology and once they’ve returned to the back of the queue should I continue to hammer the point home and get them to recite insults about themselves? It just seems excessive.

@HelloThereMeHearties

You know what would have prevented this from happening?

If he hadn't parked like a tit.

He is lucky that the OP was at home.
Think about how late he would have been if she had parked him in and had to go to work.

"If he hadn'.t parked like a tit."

Well yes-park as you wish to be treated!

@Hettya

If the OP was a man and the carer was a woman most people would find it much more uncomfortable

I'm sure they would. But that's not what happened is it.

Oh I see. So women can be like this because they are women?

Totally different power dynamics. Which is pretty obvious to most people.

Due to the inconvenience of kids wanting teaching I've only just caught up with this.

"I won't park like a tit again"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love a happy ending.

Think you've acted a bit shit to be honest. Funny how you tried to humiliate him because he was sheepish.
Wonder if you'd have acted the same if it was someone else.

I don't think he was very sorry he had done this.
None of his answers seem to be more than lip service replies so I can 100% see why OP carry on talking to him.
HIs entitlement to her drive was of his own doing.
There is no threat in OP's words, just OP pointing out to this man that he WAS in the wrong.
Maybe it's about time people accepted that they will get called on their own mistakes....

Guy came to fix my roof today and parked on my numbered space. Fair enough. I was at work and ds at home. There when I got home and I parked in ndn space (who doesn't have a car).

I asked ndn on way in if they wanted me to move when roofer left? He's fine with me staying there.

It's just polite to ask if you park somewhere that isn't your space.

Last week person opposite had a delivery in a van who couldn't park as I went off to work. Well not park close anyway. I said feel free to park on my drive as I'm not home until 4.

It's not parking in someone's space that's the issue per se. It's the assumption you won't inconvenience someone.

We happily play car Tetris here but we just communicate with each other as we all have our own space and road space is limited.

None of his answers seem to be more than lip service replies so I can 100% see why OP carry on talking to him.
HIs entitlement to her drive was of his own doing.

I totally agree. The acid test would have been if OP hadn't blocked him in, but had still caught and challenged him - would he have hung around to apologise and show his contrition then or just got in his car and driven off?

He wasn’t sorry, he was sorry he had been caught
As for being a Carer my mum has them twice a day, they get her up, to the loo, tidy up a bit, make her a cuppa in 30 minutes tops so no idea where this one has been for 2 hours

You nasty basker, you, OP. All the basking. How dare you not offer him your drive - you should have apologised for living in your house. What's the matter with some people eh? They just want to bask.

Funny thing is those being outraged at how this poor man was treated (being asked to account for himself, by a basker-type) would also have given the same replies if it were a builder a baker or even a candlestick maker. The comments are always similar, poor man, he was only 2 hours.

And that, my non-basking friends, is why entitled people park on other peoples drives and are then aghast when anyone objects.

Having just read the whole thread I feel,conflicted .
I would 100% be furious to find someone parked and blocking my drive. I would surely have a lecture to give on his return. However, I think if I saw it was a key worker or care worker I would probably take the apology and ask him not to park there again and he could have showed more consideration by putting a note in the window. I’m probably too nice but I would consider 1. He may have been attending a serious and possibly life threatening situation. 2. His job can’t be easy and he may be under massive stress already.
I would then arrange for some kind of pole that I can lock to prevent this happening again. I just think I would feel bad after if I humiliated him and asked him to repeat after me etc

Well done op.

His lucky it was her. Around here his car would of been all over the local Facebook pages and it wouldn’t of been removed when he left it would of been left forever for his boss to see and no doubt shared over 50 times.

Unless you are the police, ambulance or fire brigade you don’t park on peoples private property without permission it’s rude and you deserve any mouthful you get. Op was rather restrained.

I must be a real pushover because I'd have accepted his apology in the first instance and moved the fuck on with my day.

Imagine craving a power trip so badly you stand there and make someone repeat their apology until you're satisfied

I haven't been basking in the glory of Mumsnet as you so eloquently put it.

Well, you should! Stop responding to the people with cat-bum mouths and bask instead.

@DishingOutDone

You nasty basker, you, OP. All the basking. How dare you not offer him your drive - you should have apologised for living in your house. What's the matter with some people eh? They just want to bask.

Funny thing is those being outraged at how this poor man was treated (being asked to account for himself, by a basker-type) would also have given the same replies if it were a builder a baker or even a candlestick maker. The comments are always similar, poor man, he was only 2 hours.

And that, my non-basking friends, is why entitled people park on other peoples drives and are then aghast when anyone objects.

Who has said 'poor him, it was only 2 hours'?

We're all in agreement he shouldn't have parked there. But he apologised and was unlikely do it again anyway. And some of us feel that there was actual nastiness and belittling behaviour involved from
OP which achieved nothing other than an entertaining thread for you all.

Oh I think it achieved something.... He's not likely to park there again. Which is the main achievement really isn't it.

@Hettya

Oh I think it achieved something.... He's not likely to park there again. Which is the main achievement really isn't it.

As I said, unlikely to happen anyway following OP talking to him. Even without the belittling.

Oh well. We'll have to agree to disagree on that won't we. No point in keep going over it.

Are you usually at work then op? As he thought you would be? Bet he's parked there before and that's why he knocked on at your neighbours as he thought you would be out at work.

Don't think you did anything wrong OP. I'm a key worker I'm not going to take turns parking in every drive next to my building because of it.