Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a Parking One

572 replies

ILoveFlumps · 10/02/2021 08:00

Ok mumsnetters I need some ideas.
I popped out for 10 minutes this morning and come home to a random car on my driveway (outside my house). This is private property and allocated parking for a New Build. The Main Street it's off is permit parking only - this car has a permit.
The only place I can park is blocking it in causing a semi obstruction which I've done.
Police won't help as a civil matter.
Note has been left on the car by me telling them it's private property.
What else can I do?! Immediate neighbours have no idea whose car this is. Angry

OP posts:
Christinaismyperson · 10/02/2021 15:29

I am having a good giggle at how wound up people get about parking.

Fair enough if it was an ongoing dispute with someone especially entitled and difficult (penguin bollards thread springs to mind) but do you all get so worked up for every first offence of CF parking?! Is it that sacrosanct?

Nith · 10/02/2021 15:32

@Sparklingbrook

You are simply making things up to suit your argument now.

There's a lot of that on this thread. Apparently he wasn't even at a clients. Confused

Well, two and a quarter hours would be quite unusual for a care visit. Council carers tend to be limited to an hour at most (and usually considerably less), and paying for that amount of care from private carers costs an absolute fortune.
Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 10/02/2021 15:35

@Christinaismyperson

I am having a good giggle at how wound up people get about parking.

Fair enough if it was an ongoing dispute with someone especially entitled and difficult (penguin bollards thread springs to mind) but do you all get so worked up for every first offence of CF parking?! Is it that sacrosanct?

Confused

I don't know, how do YOU react if people randomly park on your own drive?

I'd react the same way if someone is using my garden or any of my private property because they feel like it .

Needsmustnow · 10/02/2021 15:35

Do you think it might have been a bit kinder of him to leave a note with his phone number on prominently displayed so that he could minimise the inconvenience he was causing to others?

Yes. I don't think kindness is exhaustive or mutually exclusive.

callmeadoctor · 10/02/2021 15:35

I think that you handled it beautifully, OP x

Christinaismyperson · 10/02/2021 15:37

Yeah, he was probably having a two hour shagfest with a married woman down the road. He couldn’t park outside her house incase her neighbours saw. He also made sure to wear his uniform and badge so should the furious drive owner confront him she would believe him to be a carer.

Or he was a time strapped home carer for someone who has needs considerable enough to require 2 hours of care?

We will never know.

clolo · 10/02/2021 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nith · 10/02/2021 15:41

@Nith I already answered this -

Only by inventing a totally fictional scenario of someone incredibly dependent on care arriving at a very precise time and based on your experience of residential care. In fact, people who are that dependent on the right care at the right time, and needing over two hours of care in one session, are likely to be in homes anyway.

If you were in such a vulnerable position you might appreciate your carer parking closer to you so that you don’t have to wait.

But if OP hadn't conveniently gone out presumably that would have had to happen anyway. As I've said, someone for whom care is so time-critical is unlikely to be at home on their own, otherwise they'd be in danger every time the carer got stuck in a traffic jam.

Having home care has an incredibly high bar, you won’t get it for being a little bit frail and needing a cup of tea making. It’s likely that the person needs full personal care.

You're assuming it was council funded care. As I've pointed out, that's pretty unlikely.

Sometimes I have to balance the needs of my clients against each other. It’s not nice but it’s sometimes necessary.

So how does that work out when all you have to do to minimise the problem is spend a few seconds putting a large note with your phone number on the dashboard?

we know he’s a carer because the OP told us she saw his work ID badge. I don’t believe there is any doubt about this?

We don't actually know that he was doing a care job at the relevant time.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2021 15:41

@Christinaismyperson

Yeah, he was probably having a two hour shagfest with a married woman down the road. He couldn’t park outside her house incase her neighbours saw. He also made sure to wear his uniform and badge so should the furious drive owner confront him she would believe him to be a carer.

Or he was a time strapped home carer for someone who has needs considerable enough to require 2 hours of care?

We will never know.

Yes the married woman that has a 'thing' for young men in carer's uniform. Sounds plausible. Grin
Nith · 10/02/2021 15:42

[quote Whythesadface]@Nith
The OP just said he had a uniform on.
So would you still be OK if he was going home to have 2 hours in bed with his partner?[/quote]
Is this addressed to the right person? I've never said I was "OK" in the first place.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2021 15:42

@Nith seems to have all the answers!

Nith · 10/02/2021 15:42

@Sparklingbrook

on the whole rather more grovelling probably is called for

Blimey-what have you in mind? I dread to think what you would be wanting him to do is apologising repeatedly isn't good enough!

Roughly what OP did?
Christinaismyperson · 10/02/2021 15:43

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer well on the occasions it’s happened, usually I look out the window and tut, roll my eyes and mutter a little. Then I forget about it unless I happen to see the person return to their car, then I go out and tell them that the drive belongs to me and tell them to find elsewhere in future or they may find themselves blocked in by my DH when he returns. I don’t ever feel the need to talk in anyway other than as a reasonable adult and generally I get an apology back and I don’t see them again.

If someone were in my garden I would find that threatening. I don’t find a car on my drive threatening, more a mild annoyance.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2021 15:43

@Nith you said you wanted more grovelling though-what did you want him to do?

Nith · 10/02/2021 15:44

@Christinaismyperson

I am having a good giggle at how wound up people get about parking.

Fair enough if it was an ongoing dispute with someone especially entitled and difficult (penguin bollards thread springs to mind) but do you all get so worked up for every first offence of CF parking?! Is it that sacrosanct?

I'm having a hell of a laugh at how wound up people are getting at an inconsiderate young man having his feelings hurt for a few seconds.
Christinaismyperson · 10/02/2021 15:54

@Nith unfortunately more and more people who SHOULD be in homes, probably in hospital in some cases, are being left at home with home care packages. The funding for residential care is not there, it’s much cheaper to have 2 hours of home care twice a day than a place in a care home.

There are some people who are lucky enough to be able to self fund a few hours care a week for some light care duties, but please don’t underestimate how many old and disabled people with high needs are struggling in their own homes due to lack of funding. I know this because we frequently get emergency 6 week assessments admitted to us, they clearly require 24hr care but are sent home by the LA with care for a couple of hours over meal times each day. It’s heart breaking.

This has nothing to do with the parking and I’m sorry for the derail but I think people should know the current appalling lack of services for older people and disabled people. We will all be old ourselves one day (if we’re lucky) and I hope the next generation take better care of us than we have the older generation.

Jaxhog · 10/02/2021 16:01

Good for you Op! Except in an emergency, when they should leave a note to that effect, no-one has the right to park like a dick.

OpenShop · 10/02/2021 16:03

He shouldn't have parked on your drive. You shouldn't have made him repeat a self-denigrating sentence after reprimanding him. That took your perfectly proportionate response (ticking him off) into unnecessary nastiness. He was silly for parking on your drive but if you already knew he was a carer asking him to repeat "I'm a tit" or similar was a bit cruel don't you think?

Whythesadface · 10/02/2021 16:05

Sorry Nith.
I just think it's funny we have no idea why he was there, yet the jackanory storys some people are making up to excuse a rude selfish person stealing a drive are amazing.
So how long is ok to steal a drive ?
I mean is there a limit after which it's ok to be annoyed?
Can I park on a drive for a two week holiday, say sorry 4 times when arrive to owner, and the owner has to suck it up buttercup?

Nith · 10/02/2021 16:07

[quote Sparklingbrook]@Nith you said you wanted more grovelling though-what did you want him to do?[/quote]
What I said just up there?

viques · 10/02/2021 16:08

You made him say “I’m sorry I parked like a tit”

I am really shocked.

Don’t you know you should have made him say “ I’m sorry I parked like the bit of chest flesh a chest feeder uses to chest feed a baby.”

Hettya · 10/02/2021 16:09

Handled like a pro op. If he didn't want to be called out for it he shouldn't have parked there.

Christinaismyperson · 10/02/2021 16:09

@Whythesadface

Sorry Nith. I just think it's funny we have no idea why he was there, yet the jackanory storys some people are making up to excuse a rude selfish person stealing a drive are amazing. So how long is ok to steal a drive ? I mean is there a limit after which it's ok to be annoyed? Can I park on a drive for a two week holiday, say sorry 4 times when arrive to owner, and the owner has to suck it up buttercup?
No not at all. But you can make your point to the drive thief without resulting to being condescending. It’s all so cringey to imagine a conversation between two adults where one is making the other repeating back “I won’t park like a tit”!

If the OP was a man and the carer was a woman most people would find it much more uncomfortable.

Hettya · 10/02/2021 16:10

Don’t you know you should have made him say “ I’m sorry I parked like the bit of chest flesh a chest feeder uses to chest feed a baby.

Gosh, not inclusive language. I take it all back op 😱😂

Whythesadface · 10/02/2021 16:14

@Christinaismyperson
There are no shades of gray in this story.
The Man was Wrong.
OP was right.
All the Man had to do was not park on her drive.
We are not telling story's again, there is no reverse to make it a man attacking a woman, that is not what happened.

Your wrong accept it.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread