It's a Parking One

[ILoveFlumps]

Ok mumsnetters I need some ideas.
I popped out for 10 minutes this morning and come home to a random car on my driveway (outside my house). This is private property and allocated parking for a New Build. The Main Street it's off is permit parking only - this car has a permit.
The only place I can park is blocking it in causing a semi obstruction which I've done.
Police won't help as a civil matter.
Note has been left on the car by me telling them it's private property.
What else can I do?! Immediate neighbours have no idea whose car this is.

@MustardMitt

What if he wasn’t a carer? Why do carers have to be ‘handled more sensitivity’ than any other person that parked on someone else’s drive without permission?

Agree @MustardMitt Well done OP. I think everyone on this thread is grateful to all carers and NHS workers and key workers. They have done a fantastic job in a truly shit time. BUT That does not give you the right to just go around behaving exactly as you want. The fact that parking is not easy in OPs area is not her fault nor the fact that the Carer has difficulty parking, he was parking in a place he shouldn’t have been, again, not OPs fault or problem. I despair at some of the responses on this thread.

He probably had to choose whether to inconvenience a random drive owner who he thought on the balance of probabilities was out at work for the day, or inconvenience a vulnerable old or disabled person who needed essential personal care. I don’t think that qualifies him as a dick or a tit.

The decision lay between inconveniencing the person he was caring for for a few minutes - and, face it, they probably wouldn't have been in the least bit bothered by that - or inconveniencing a couple of strangers (OP and her NDN) for over two hours. For all he knew, they too were vulnerable. Do you think he made the right choice, @Christinaismyperson?

I think you did really well OP, good you gave him a little bit of a hard time but not too much. I don't think he'll do it again.

I despair at some of the responses on this thread

So do I but for the opposite reasons...

Who cares if he was a carer or a "key worker' aren't we all
We are not talking about paramedic responding to an emergency

He didn't know if someone in the house needed a carer themselves
if the owner was disabled and needed to be close to their front door
or whatever reason someone who pays to have a drive needs it for

2 hours is simply not acceptable.

It’s highly likely the person he was visiting was still in bed unable to get themselves to the toilet. Not able to get water or food. Likely required help with medication (which could be something time critical such as insulin). Possibly confused with dementia.

No, it really isn't "highly likely". You are simply making things up to suit your argument now.

Do people realise that nobody knows if he was actually a carer on duty? Using the drive for 2 hours he could just as easily have been on a personal visit somewhere.

You are simply making things up to suit your argument now.

There's a lot of that on this thread. Apparently he wasn't even at a clients.

[quote Christinaismyperson]@stablefeet why the air quotes around key worker? Do you no think care workers should qualify as key workers?[/quote]
Air quotes because we don't know if this bloke was actually a key worker, nor would I if someone knocked on my door. Why are people so stupidly quick to take offence here when none is intended ffs.

Possibly confused with dementia.

no MN thread would be a valid thread without someone mentioning dementia.

Carers don't just pop in, say Hi! and do a bit of dusting. They are there to support vulnerable and needy people, and certainly where council-funded carers are concerned, it's a pretty high bar before the state will pay

Where does it say these were council-funded carers?

So the next appointment was undoubtedly a vulnerable person who cannot live at home or look after themselves without support

But probably not someone who needed care that minute and no later, because someone that vulnerable isn't likely to be at home. It could just as easily be someone like my Dad, who has carers to do a bit of shopping for him, make sure he takes his medication and provide a bit of company. He really doesn't care when they turn up.

Just because someone parks on your property it doesn’t give you the right to talk to them like that

Actually, you know, it does.

Just don't park on a drive you don't own.
Just how hard is that to understand?
Unless the owner has said you can!
There are no excuses.
This was not a life or death emergency it was a person being an entitled idiot, thinking their rights Trumped anyone elses.
Maybe he learnt his lesson.
Because honestly he was lucky to not have met with someone who did get angry, and if his time is SO important being carless all day would have caused him far more problems and any employer would 100% have blamed him for parking in an inappropriate place, not the person who blocked him in.

Sounds like you went a little heavy thinking it would please the MN massif. I think it was a little unnecessary.

@Nith

He probably had to choose whether to inconvenience a random drive owner who he thought on the balance of probabilities was out at work for the day, or inconvenience a vulnerable old or disabled person who needed essential personal care. I don’t think that qualifies him as a dick or a tit.

The decision lay between inconveniencing the person he was caring for for a few minutes - and, face it, they probably wouldn't have been in the least bit bothered by that - or inconveniencing a couple of strangers (OP and her NDN) for over two hours. For all he knew, they too were vulnerable. Do you think he made the right choice, @Christinaismyperson?

@Nith I already answered this -

“ It’s highly likely the person he was visiting was still in bed unable to get themselves to the toilet. Not able to get water or food. Likely required help with medication (which could be something time critical such as insulin). Possibly confused with dementia.

If you were in such a vulnerable position you might appreciate your carer parking closer to you so that you don’t have to wait. 15 minutes or so is a long time to wait when your only other option is to poo in your bed and lay in it.

I’m a carer in a residential home, these things matter to people. When you realise how dependent your clients are on you it changes your priorities.

No harm was done, the person got their care and OP had to park on the road for 2 hours. It’s an awful lot of frothing and hand wringing for a fairly non-incident.”

Having home care has an incredibly high bar, you won’t get it for being a little bit frail and needing a cup of tea making. It’s likely that the person needs full personal care.

Had I been that carer (and I don’t drive so it’s a moot point) and I knew for certain that my client was requiring assistance ASAP I might make a dodgy parking decision. I might place the needs of my client above the theoretical needs of someone else. There is a lot of that in our job. Sometimes I have to balance the needs of my clients against each other. It’s not nice but it’s sometimes necessary.

I’m not saying he was right, but it might have been more wrong to leave the client for longer.

I’ve never once said he didn’t deserve to be told not to park there, I’m not suggesting the OP give over ownership of her house to key workers. I’m saying that the dressing down she gave him was not nice and not proportional to the “crime” committed. He said sorry, twice and she continued to berate him and make him call himself a tit! I wouldn’t discipline my children that way so I certainly wouldn’t try and discipline another adult that way.

How will anyone ever know the circumstances of the person the carer was visiting? It was a morning call so you might assume helping to get out of bed/dressing/breakfast but that's about it.
No point speculating really. Not forgetting he wasn't even doing his job according to some. He must just fancy wearing a badge for fun?

@stablefeet we know he’s a carer because the OP told us she saw his work ID badge. I don’t believe there is any doubt about this?

If there's a drive and you own it, or you have been invited to visit, you can park on it

If there's a drive and you don't know who owns it, nor have you been invited to use it, you cannot park on it.

It's private property. If you are an arse and don't understand that or you are an entitled fuckwit then you should expect some level of rudeness or patronisation on your return

Will your NDN helpfully move their car behind the offending vehicle should you need to move yours? They're fab neighbours if they do x

But personally I would think beyond “someone’s on my drive” and consider the person the key worker was caring for. Do I begrudge them getting their care in a timely manner than if the carer had to park further away? If I did begrudge that then I would simply ask the person not to park on my drive again.

It's a matter of a few minutes. Unless the carer was going to claim that his call was urgent - and he didn't - then yes, OP is entitled to begrudge the few minutes. It almost certainly made zero difference to the person in question, and is what would have had to happen if OP hadn't had to go out anyway.

It doesn't matter why the man was in the Road.
He could have been giving his affair partner a good morning call, or getting a paying client out of bed.
HE choose to park on a drive he didn't own for 2 hours.
It sounds like he wasn't even that sorry, or OP would not have felt the need to reinforce how wrong he was to do this.
You just can't justify this entitled bloke parking where he did, because there is no excuse, he invited the dressing down by his own actions.

@Nith

But personally I would think beyond “someone’s on my drive” and consider the person the key worker was caring for. Do I begrudge them getting their care in a timely manner than if the carer had to park further away? If I did begrudge that then I would simply ask the person not to park on my drive again.

It's a matter of a few minutes. Unless the carer was going to claim that his call was urgent - and he didn't - then yes, OP is entitled to begrudge the few minutes. It almost certainly made zero difference to the person in question, and is what would have had to happen if OP hadn't had to go out anyway.

@Nith wow I’ve really got your goat haven’t I?

You’re making my point. She CAN begrudge it, that’s fine. She only has to say “can you not park on my drive, if you do it again I will need to take action” and I doubt she would see him again.

Rather than the whole back and forth making him repeat her like a child and call himself a tit and threaten him will contacting his employers. It’s so unnecessary and done entirely to make him feel as bad as possible. When she could have been reasonable and adult about it and not feel the need to inflict revenge.

I actually think most people would do the latter, and if I’m honest I hope that’s what the OP actually did and the conversation is a bit of theatre for the parking vipers of mumsnet. Nowt worse than being on someone’s land!

This wasn't a mistake. He admitted it was an entirely deliberate decision on his part.

Which he apologised for....four times and it still wasn't enough?

Well, when you've taken a deliberate decision to park on someone else's property without regard to how much you inconvenience them and other people, you don't bother to leave any sort of contact number in case you're causing problems, and you then choose to lie about knowing it was private property, on the whole rather more grovelling probably is called for.

@Nith
The OP just said he had a uniform on.
So would you still be OK if he was going home to have 2 hours in bed with his partner?

on the whole rather more grovelling probably is called for

Blimey-what have you in mind? I dread to think what you would be wanting him to do is apologising repeatedly isn't good enough!