AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

SOME people, not most people

Most people. Otherwise government guidelines would not consider this temperature too cold.

Unless you really can't afford it, why would you voluntarily choose to live in a house that you describe as not that bad when wrapped up like for a polar expedition? What's wrong with having your house heated to a comfortable temperature, not just 'not that bad' one?

The difference is that when outside you are moving around. Sitting still at 16 degrees is far too cold for me, but 16 degrees when gardening or going for a walk is fine

Not necessarily. What about waiting at a bus stop or for a train? Or waiting to drop/collect kids from school?

At work we have our office window wide open for ventilation to help keep it ‘covid secure’ we all wear thermals or base layers under our scrubs!

@HikeForward

Possibly because they have no need for clothes like that, given that they keep their house warm

Hiking, camping, skiing, any winter sport or trip to a cold climate and you’d need clothes like that?

Even in the U.K. I wear base layers and warm tops, jumpers, trousers, thick wool socks etc outside when it drops below freezing.

If they did those activities they’d already own the clothes, wouldn’t they? Hiking, camping and skiing aren’t mainstream. And you couldn’t pay me enough money to holiday somewhere cold.

I find puritanism over heating and the "put another jumper on" crew incredibly frustrating and mean tbh.

Yes its true that everyone has an internal thermostat and some people are happier being colder but I think if you can afford it and you insist on keeping your family in a state of discomfort its just weird and punitive.

I grew up in the era of one coal fire to heat the house and ice on the inside of the windows. Probably as a consequence, I don't really feel the cold and maybe FiL is the same, but if I had guests I would absolutely want them to feel comfortable and I would be mortified if they were cold.

@thepeopleversuswork

I find puritanism over heating and the "put another jumper on" crew incredibly frustrating and mean tbh.

Yes its true that everyone has an internal thermostat and some people are happier being colder but I think if you can afford it and you insist on keeping your family in a state of discomfort its just weird and punitive.

Someone will be uncomfortably. Someone will be in "discomfort". Either because of cold or hot. It is easier though to put on layers though because there is only so many layers one can take off before police is called😂

He's obviously tight as you say he has a state pension and a private one too.

Sorry but some elderly people just are. I know many well off elderly people who would rather wear thermals and gloves than turn the heating on.

It's ridiculous.

Explain to him that his grandchildren cannot work from home like this. It's hard enough home schooling so can't imagine what it's like without the basics.

I actually think obsessing over numbers is the wrong way to look at it. We have our heating set at 20 during the day. My parents have their heating set at 20 during the day.

Our house is warm because it's 50 years old, well-insulated, modern has central heating, constructed with cavity walls and has large windows which bring the sun/heat in when there is any.

Their house is cold because it's a 300+ year old cottage with solid stone walls and nowhere to insulate, they have a rickety old oil-fired system as there's no mains gas, there are draughts and cold spots all over the house.

If you're cold, you turn the heating up. I will never as long as I live understand the competitiveness over lack of heating use.

I also grew up in a cold house. Heating used sparingly and on 60. Gas fire in living room, so we dressed in front of it as little kids. I still feel the cold. I have reynard 's, which doesn't help.

Dh doesn't feel the cold, so we're engaged in a constant battle over windows being open and heating on.

Ginfirdinner

“Everyone is different. Everyone has a different circulation, so being rude to someone or sneering at them because they feel the cold isn't very nice or helpful.”

But it’s nice or helpful calling people who prefer a lower temperature “well ‘ard”?

SchrodingersImmigrant

Yes but in this case the OP and kids are all in agreement that they are uncomfortably cold and visibly so so its not like he's trying to balance different people's needs. And money isn't the issue. He's just being tight and controlling for the sake of it.

My grandfather was like this and I loathe it tbh.

I cannot bare a cold house. I would insist and leave the money on the side OP.

@Sweet666

I don't have heating at this time of year, put some extra layers of clothes on will help a lot

If not this time of year what time of year would you turn it on??

That’s when would

@DenisetheMenace

Ginfirdinner

“Everyone is different. Everyone has a different circulation, so being rude to someone or sneering at them because they feel the cold isn't very nice or helpful.”

But it’s nice or helpful calling people who prefer a lower temperature “well ‘ard”?

Touche

My mums house is like this, I don't take my coat off in winter there and I stay 4/5 hours!

I think he doesnt want you there and thats why the heating is set so low.

There is no right or wrong temperature, people simply have different preferences due to physiology, activity levels, resting metabolic rate, thyroid function, etc. I have no idea what my thermostat says, I have a thermometer on the wall 3 ft away from me, and whether I feel warm or cold largely depends on whether I’ve just eaten, just had a hot drink, or just come in from a walk outside. What the numbers on a thermostat say are largely irrelevant; I can be cold at 16 degrees in one situation, but very cold at 16 degrees in another.

Gah, I meant "I can be warm at 16 degrees in one situation, but very cold at 16 degrees in another" (depending on different factors)

Knowing what you set your themostat to tells us nothing about the temperature of you house. Mine is set to 17, the temperature on the thermometer in the room I'm in is 22, as I type.

My flat has been down to 16 once before, 24 hours after the central heating failed, when there was snow on the ground outside. When the heating is working, it is above 21 degrees from about 7am to 10pm.

The ideal indoor temperature for people wearing normal clothes is supposed to be 21-22 degrees.

This thread is giving me painful flashbacks of living with my ex for years who was very stingy about the heating. There were absolutely no financial reasons for this. Our thermostat regularly displayed 7 degrees. I lived in multiple layers, he spent the majority of the time in his office room where he worked. He claimed it was an extra cold room and had two electric heaters in there.

He might be concerned about the cost.

"Look, FIL, it's too cold for us. Can I throw you £20 a week to keep the thermostat at 20C?"

Everyone is different, and every house has a different vibe at different termperatures. My current house, for instance, feels too cold at 18C, where as I was quite content at that temperature in our old place!

I’d be freezing and utterly miserable at that temperature.

I finds anything under 19 really quite unpleasant (I prefer 22c for evening when sitting around) and after growing up in a house where I was constantly told to “put another jumper on” I now revel in the fact that I can keep my own home toast warm.

Ours is on 18 while we're pottering about during the day, 20 when we settle for the evening and 16 over night. But it varies so much within those temperatures. The thermostat can say its 20 and we're freezing, or it can say its 18 and we're boiling. I'd be embarrassed if someone was so cold in my house they needed hot water bottles and gloves! Surely when you have guests you compromise on the temperature so everyone is comfortable.