AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

@oakleaffy

You nesh lot with 20😂That is too hot. Maybe it’s what you are used to as a kid?

I'm a skinny Jew: genetically meant to live somewhere like Israel or Cyprus or Egypt, grew up in London with a thermostat on 20+

My in laws are Welsh. Their house is painfully cold and damp (for me). They don't really believe in heating as far as I can tell. They do have proper fireplaces though (lovely).

I would be mortified if a guest in my home had to sit on a sofa under a blanket and with a hot water bottle.

How bloody miserable.

Gwenhwyfar

"They had fires FFS. Do you think they just sat there in the cold for thousands of years.
Yes, they didn't have central heating, but they had real fires and then heaters, gas bottle heaters, whatever"

which is precisely why further back on the thread i suggested OP buy herself a small portable oil filled plug in heater and agree with her host that she can plug it in.......

we have not been told whether it is possible in the host house in question to turn on some radiators and turn off others etc so potentially you are suggesting the host heats the entire house for an unlimited period of time (and in a way he is not used to) to please his guests...............

@fucknuckle that sucks, honestly. Spring will be here soon so I wish you speedy window works! I remember having draughty small window once, don't want to even imagine bay one! Hope it gets better asap

When we flick ours on at any temp under 20 and put it up to about 22. It is all relative isn't it to where you are. If you are cold you are cold and you are miserable and unproductive. I found this when I started WFH this winter!! I felt like shit. Even bought myself a heated throw. I did find I was toastier upstairs though and have moved to my bedroom. If poor dc are trying to do their schoolwork they can't be cold. If you are doing school work you are not able to get up and move about and keep warm - I think that's the thing. Older people have a THING about putting the heating on. Like it can't be on before a certain date or after a certain date or before a certain time etc. My parents used to be like that. Never had heating on in the day. Now they are older and dad is in bed and they are in all day and mum has charge of the heating they have it on all day even on very low at night! I used to go there and worry they would get hypothermia Costs them a fortune to have it on though - older 60s built house. Our new build is much cheaper to keep a bit warmer.

For woodwork shops there is a minimum temp. But can’t remember what it is... it came in to force as staff were losing fingers.

@oakleaffy

It’s bloody Bawtic out now.. that NE wind Is like a razor .

Except of course that nobody in Baltics would think 16, never mind 12 is a reasonable temperature indoors. In Estonia, the school must be cancelled if the classrooms are below 19c.

Not everyone is miserable in less than 20 degrees. I love cold. My dh sometimes looks at me when out just shakes his head, mubles something about fucking polar bear and zips ups his jacket. Last time I wore more than top, jacket and light scarf on top was probably the winter of 2010😂

So it's not always "bloody miserable" or "stingy". It's about comfort. Just that someone's comfort is 4 degrees less than yours 🤷🏻

You won’t find anyone who agrees on there with what the “best” temperature should be. Even in my own home we don’t! I’m too hot above 18, DH likes it toasty, to the point where I have to go in the garden for fresh air during the day. First world problems! Also, I’ve noticed older people are veeeery protective of the temperature they prefer in their home. Best to suck it up and put sweaters on!

It really does make a difference if you wear properly warm clothes, eg a wool skirt, wool/cashmere jumper, thermal tights, Ugg-type leather slippers with proper soles. Not dozens of layers, but actual warm materials. If you’re wearing jeans, wool socks make a big difference too.

Why wouldn't your DH have a conversation with his father about turning up the heating.

Different people just feel cold at different temperatures. Today I'm wearing a thermal base layer (leggings and vest), jeans, a long-sleeved top, a jumper, a gilet, a hoodie, very thick socks (so thick I can't get my shoes on over them), slipper boots, fingerless gloves, a scarf, and a hat. And the heating is on and I'm wearing a hot water bottle up my top. MIL, otoh, has a normal amount of clothing on and no heating. I'm still cold, she feels fine.

This is nuts and very inhospitable. I couldn't stay there.

My husband is the same and it's not to save money it would just be too warm for him, you do get used to it but my dad was the opposite so it took me a few years when I moved in of me turning it on and him turning it off 😂

@Gwenhwyfar

"Heating can be really expensive. Mine is electric (wet radiators) @ 9kWh x electricity 15p = £1.35/hour. I can't afford to have it on for more than a few hours. I try and keep the house about 16 degrees (using a little heater which is only 0.7kWh ie 10p/hour)."

Why don't you explore some different heating systems? Halogen heaters? Infrared heaters? I suppose that while your house is 16 degrees, you can be warmer if you're sitting right next to the heater?

We don't have mains gas in the village. It is a modern house but is 100% electric. The boiler/wet radiator system is expensive to run (at 9KwH) and I find our little oil free electric heater works well despite being 0.7 kWh. I would love solar PV panels but they cost ££ to purchase. NB Halogen heaters are still electric and typically 1.2kWh so would cost more to run per hour than my little 0.7 kWH oil free radiator. Believe me, I'm constantly exploring different ways of running the heating efficiently which is why I know the stuff off the top of my head! It's a jigsaw puzzle that isn't quite finished. However, this house is much less draughty than my previous house and although I don't have the heating on much, the house doesn't lose heat too easily. I feel for anyone in draughty houses - it can be miserable!

I think the thermostat setting is a red herring. In this house we have the thermostat set to 21 in the evening (19 in the morning), but the house is such that the bedrooms are a couple of degrees cooler, usually about 19.5 at the kids bedtime, and downstairs is cooler still (17.5-18). In our old house we used to set the thermostat to 18/19 (downstairs) but upstairs would be 20-21. So room temperature is more important than thermostat reading

Sitting still in 16 degrees is too cold. If you're walking about it's a perfect temperature

Can your DH comment that it is a bit chilly and say to his Dad that kids need more warmth when they are sitting still studying?

Otherwise I would bring a small heater with you and just plug it in in the room they are working in.

I have a heated throw that I plug in and have over my knees when sat at my desk. Maybe get the kids something like that.

Different people are comfortable at different temperatures and it’s mostly about habit.

I am most comfortable at around 16 degrees, and perfectly happy with a blanket over my legs.

I find centrally heated houses very stuffy and uncomfortable. I’m always turning the heating down and opening the windows in hotels and holiday lets.

@CoffeeRunner

But 16.5 degrees isn’t all that cold. My point was actually that maybe his thermostat isn’t working as well as it should!

I think 16.5 is cold. I'd be uncomfortable

Why can't people accept that not everybody is happy at the same temperature?

I bet that some posters have a 15 tog duvet, plus blanket and a fleece pyjama
others have a 10 tog, and sleep with the window opened despite the snow outside..
and others a 5 tog..

while some people sleep with a duvet even in August
and their neighbours have the air con blasting

It's not being a tight martyr puritan to be COMFORTABLE in your own home FFS!

Meanwhile half of MN is horrified at the idea of wearing shoes indoors and expect their guests to freeze their feet in the winter

The Government recommends 18 degrees:

publichealthmatters.blog.gov.uk/2014/10/21/preventing-avoidable-deaths-this-winter/#:~:text=Previously%20we%20had%20recommended%20a,vulnerable%20groups%20and%20healthy%20people.

@Sweet666

Yes i do live in UK it is not bad if you wear enough clothes, the winter this year has been very mild I think? It's about getting used to it and then you can handle it better

I am in the Midlands and I have found this January colder than some years.

The government can recommend anything they want to ensure landlords or employers are respecting a decent average

we are still free to do as we please in our own home!