AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

I will never understand people who are bloody mean about heating! For Gods sake put the damn heating on, its February!

Ours is set at 17 . It’s what you get used to . I hate to be too warm

@Tootshoots imagine people think the same about us ! I hate it being warm tho . It makes me sleepy

If your FiL keeps the thermostat on picture rail it’s too high. Heat rises so above your head will be 16c below at sitting level it will be 1-2 degrees lower. Also if your older child is sitting for any length of time doing homework they will get cold due to lack of movement, she will loose concentration too. I think it’s definitely too cold to live in, I know it’s only 2 weeks but I guess it will be all day as you and the kids can’t go anywhere. Fingers crossed you can find somewhere else to go if he won’t let pay and turn the heating up.

i had my heating on all day and couldn’t get it above 16.5 in here today. i have a huge single-glazed bay window and a stingy landlord who won’t replace it.

i can’t afford to run it above 17.5 anyway. it goes off at 6 and i watch tv in bed with layers on. fuel poverty is real, even on mumsnet. and i have arthritis, so being cold is not in my best interests. what can i do? i have had the Warm Home Discount but don’t want to burn through it too fast.

What I find funny is that so many people on MN talk about climate change, pollution, wasted resources, etc, etc, but refuse point blank to cope with less than sauna-like temperatures at home.

Hypocrites.

@Gwenhwyfar

"Do your friends always send you the temperature guidelines of their home before you visit? Seriously?"

I have figured out who the tight arses are by now.
Surely common sense tells you that you need heating on in February. Nobody can think it's normal not to have it on in these temperatures so if you're going to do that you need to warn people in advance.

But not everyone can afford to run their heating 24 hours a day even in winter...

@Gwenhwyfar

"FFS has it not occurred to you yet that some people CANNOT AFFORD to put the heating on."

If you're living alone in a house that can accommodate 3 people rather than a small flat like this fil, you can't really make that argument.

Of course you can. Not everybody can up and move house. It costs money to move and not everybody has that option either.

We have ours around 16.5 during the day because we all find it too hot if we’re all doing things.
In the evenings we generally have it around 18.

Perhaps you could suggest making a contribution for the additional heating while you’re there (I’m assuming FIL is retired?)

Going to stay with someone due to work being done on your house then wanting to dictate the heating....

Seriously though, it's his house and that's how he does things.

Perhaps he thinks it will prevent your stay becoming too long.....

@fucknuckle

i had my heating on all day and couldn’t get it above 16.5 in here today. i have a huge single-glazed bay window and a stingy landlord who won’t replace it.

i can’t afford to run it above 17.5 anyway. it goes off at 6 and i watch tv in bed with layers on. fuel poverty is real, even on mumsnet. and i have arthritis, so being cold is not in my best interests. what can i do? i have had the Warm Home Discount but don’t want to burn through it too fast.

He wouldn't even need to fully replace. He could just put a secondary graling on if he doesn't want to spend more. Have you looked into the cheap kits? It's like a foil you tape to frames and adds a layer. I had it once on a window and it did make bit of a difference. You can buy them in wicks and b&q and some other shops

Offer to pay a certain amount for heat to be put on for longer or at a higher temp. Sorted. It is not rocket science really. The man is used to living alone with minimal bills FGS.

Providing dinner is not enough.

Are you paying him any rent for your stay?

@Honeybobbin I laughed so much at this, I started wheezing

I just don’t have the radiator on in the bedroom so that it’s colder anyway and I don’t have to let the sitting areas get cold before I go to bed.
Then my bedroom would be cold in the morning. Heating is on between 6 and 7am, I get up at 6.30 so I like the chill off while I'm getting dressed. I'm usually in bed reading by 9:30 or 10pm so the sitting room doesn't drop by much, I just find it's more comfortable to sleep.

God mine is on 25!!

I couldn’t live in that kind of cold, bloody freezing .

Some masochists love being cold it seems.

The Puritans never left us did they, their motives live on.

Mine's 18 at night and 21 or 22 in the day. My dual fuel bill is never more than £75 a month as a family of 5. I would be bloody freezing at 16 degrees.

@Sunnydays999

Ours is set at 17 . It’s what you get used to . I hate to be too warm

Yes, it's not just about cost or being 'mean' . I am uncomfortable with the heating above 18 for longer than an hour or two. I feel unwell at relatives or friends houses set to 20.

Layers help but sometimes its just so cold you feel ill. Layers do nothing for me at this point

@SchrodingersImmigrant thank you for the suggestion. i tried one of those kits but the frame is quietly rotting and damp so the tape wouldn’t stick. i do now have the self-adhesive film that clings to the glass itself, and two sets of blinds and it’s helped a bit.

i’ve been asking the landlord to sort the window since my first winter here in 2019. they are a stubborn bunch and it takes an age to get anywhere. they have finally agreed to look into replacing the window and the front door (also wood with a single-glazed pane) but that’s too late for this winter. the front bay is huuuge so they’ve been trying to avoid the cost for as long as they can.

it’s a shame as everything else in this flat is perfect for me. i’m going to keep on bugging them until it gets sorted.

It's subjective, which is why everybody is saying different things and everybody is right, and OP is right and her dad is right.

The issue, really, is why he's refusing to do something simple that would make his daughter and grandchildren much more comfortable, when they're having to stay away from home, in the middle of the darkest, coldest, horrible-ist bit of the year. If it were me I'd be doing everything I could to make it lovely and comfortable for them, even if I ended up having to walk round in my pants with a touch of heatstroke. I just can't imagine watching guests in my house wearing hats and gloves, clearly cold, and not wanting to make it better.

Even with the thermostat set at 22 I will be sitting with jumpers and blanket over me in an evening. There is no way I would cope with 16.5 based on our thermostat

Tightness is endemic AFAIS. Save money any way you can.

Be miserable, be cold, use blankets, we know this, but honestly why?

It's really interesting reading all the replies 😊 Btw, when I said t shirts, I did meant long sleeved - short sleeves are for summer. But I guess we could wear more clothes.
At home I'd be more active - I'd be doing housework etc. Here, not so much - helping youngest DD with school work, then reading ~scrolling through Mumsnet~ so sitting more, hence colder.
DH cane for dinner (he's staying at home mostly overseeing work going on) and bought extra hoodies, blankets and hot water bottles, which will help.