AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

@Gwenhwyfar

"Do your friends always send you the temperature guidelines of their home before you visit? Seriously?"

I have figured out who the tight arses are by now.
Surely common sense tells you that you need heating on in February. Nobody can think it's normal not to have it on in these temperatures so if you're going to do that you need to warn people in advance.

you are talking nonsense.

It's not even being a tight arse or not, people have preferences and some are also more active than others.

I found that in general, people in very big house are more used to colder temperatures, while tiny modern space tend to be over-heated. (despite the poster who won't fail to jump on me for being the exception).

If you are cold in a house where someone is happily wearing just a jumper and comfortable, why do you think you are the one in the right?

Some people think wearing just a tshirt indoors is ridiculous for February, others are happy that way. You don't get to decide they are wrong!

Its not unreasonable to feel cold- it is what it is. I am a 24 degrees C person and would rather not eat than feel cold. Always been like this. However I don't expect anyone else to foot a heating bill - I take hot water bottles and heated throws everywhere (trains/train stations/ outdoor sports events) . I even have heated gilet. I probably show up on heat maps as a moving blob of heat.
Just buy hot water bottles etc or offer to contribute to the bill.
Men don't feel the cold as much as women due to hormones and effects on blood circulation apparently and women need it about 3 degrees warmer to function optimally .
There's nothing like a toasty hot water bottle in a thin tote bag carried around !

Meanwhile, a thread about having a PAID lodger who is freezing and expecting the heating on for 24hours is full of replies that the lodger is a CF, should buy some layers and stay under a duvet if they are that cold

You have to love MN!

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

Meanwhile, a thread about having a PAID lodger who is freezing and expecting the heating on for 24hours is full of replies that the lodger is a CF, should buy some layers and stay under a duvet if they are that cold

You have to love MN!

A paying lodger I suppose. Even I don't ask for heating on at night, that's silly. You just get a big blanket and a hot water bottle.

Ps, we have 21 during day, 18 at night. You can ask him whether he's struggling to pay. Tbh he probably has gotten a hint already if you have blankets on. So he either does not care,or thinks you should be OK with it cos he thinks it's the right temperature, in which case he's being rude, or he can't afford it. I'd ask him and offer him to top it up for the amount you're there. If he says I think it's fine, just say you aren't comfortable and you'd have to come back when it's warmer..

A paying lodger I suppose

yes, sorry, that would make more sense.

Even I don't ask for heating on at night, that's silly.
not silly at all. Your lodger is perfectly entitled to watch tv, study, do whatever they please and have the heating on!

This discussion comes up, usually several times, every winter on MN.

Isn't there a government advisory thing at the moment telling older people to heat their home at a minimum of 18 degrees to keep their lungs warm and healthy?

I'm currently sitting in my modern, double glazed house wearing a thermal vest, 3 jumpers, jeans, socks and boot type slippers. My thermostat on the wall is set at 24.

its simple (ish)
if you have the money to put the heating on as you wish AND you think it is important to the quality of your life then you do so.

if you do not have the money to do so then you have a dilemma along the lines of either get into debt doing so anyway; or leave the heating off but warm up some other way which is cheaper (more clothes, hot water bottles, get under a duvet, exercise etc etc) or ultimately you try to move to a different type of accommodation which is more insulated/cheaper to heat etc if you really cannot bear to be the level of cold you were before.

i am not that old but i guess i feel old when i say "how do you think they managed before modern types of housing / heating???"

yes is must be correct that in some circumstances in the UK during the coldest seasons and depending on the person in question it is indeed potentially dangerous not to absolutely prioritise heating (very young, old, infirm, ill etc) but many people have and do survive without the level of heating others think are a non negotiable.

and my first take from OP was that they were there as a guest but as a guest because they were having work done and so it was a kind of favour; not the same as purposefully holding your own home out as a place to go and "make yourself at home" as if it was indeed your own home.

I heat at night, but not during the day unless it's very cold. I sleep oddly so need it warm bf when I was young this is how we had it anyway

Most people will tell you that excessive central heating makes them very uncomfortable and unwell. (what is called excessive obviously varies)

If he's used to his own cold house, why should he ramp up the heating?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I heat at night, but not during the day unless it's very cold. I sleep oddly so need it warm bf when I was young this is how we had it anyway

😂 that's rather unusual, but as long as you are happy with that!

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer I like cold during the day to keep me alert😁 when I am at home. It also makes me move. Though it's nkt really cold. I don't make myself uncomfortable! But i kick a lot during sleep so my duvet often goes so... Heating for that. And no, attaching duvet doesn't work because i can't sleep then.

@Gwenhwyfar

"Do your friends always send you the temperature guidelines of their home before you visit? Seriously?"

I have figured out who the tight arses are by now.
Surely common sense tells you that you need heating on in February. Nobody can think it's normal not to have it on in these temperatures so if you're going to do that you need to warn people in advance.

The heating is on, just on a thermostat set to what the normal occupants find comfortable.

@sweet666 it isn't enforceable, however it is the legal recommendation in the UK. Unions did go to court over this. In ergonomics courses for light factory work 16 is minimum. For heavy lifting warehouse work it is 13. For sedentary office work 18 but 21 is recommended (and used - auditors check this)

The Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 says that your employer must maintain a reasonable temperature where you work, but it does not specify a maximum temperature. There is a minimum temperature of 16°C, or 13°C if your work involves considerable physical activity.

I hate being cold and in normal times won’t visit a couple of friends who won’t put the heating on. It’s horrible being cold and uncomfortable, I’d rather go without elsewhere than scrimp on heating.

Although, I like the house very warm during the day I never have my heating on at night.

That would make me feel very stuffy and uncomfortable.

Would he let you add a bit more seal fat to the quilliq?

16.5’ is perfectly acceptable. Does your daughter wear gloves when it’s 16.5 degrees in spring / summer?

@kowari

The heating is turned on, it's just on a thermostat. Mine is set to 17 degrees, I turn it up to 20 if I have certain relatives visit for an hour or so, but I would feel ill if I had to leave it set to that, and it turns off at 8pm so it can drop low enough for me to sleep comfortably.

I just don’t have the radiator on in the bedroom so that it’s colder anyway and I don’t have to let the sitting areas get cold before I go to bed.

Mine is between 16-18 and off overnight but it's cost related. Even at that my gas and electric is £80pm and I can't afford more
Hence why the electric heated airer is off because I can't afford that and heating

"Even I don't ask for heating on at night, that's silly.
not silly at all. Your lodger is perfectly entitled to watch tv, study, do whatever they please and have the heating on!"

Yes, OK, I get the point.
It's silly imo, but the lodger has the right to do it.

"i am not that old but i guess i feel old when i say "how do you think they managed before modern types of housing / heating???""

They had fires FFS. Do you think they just sat there in the cold for thousands of years.
Yes, they didn't have central heating, but they had real fires and then heaters, gas bottle heaters, whatever.

"Most people will tell you that excessive central heating makes them very uncomfortable and unwell. (what is called excessive obviously varies)"

What's the link? OP isn't asking for excessive central heating, just normal.

Put the thermostat in the freezer when he's not looking

OP isn't asking for excessive central heating, just normal.

The problem is again that normal is subjective. For him her ideal and normal temperature could very well be excessive heating. Same like his ideal temp is too low for her. It's a situation when no one is wrong and no one is right.