AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

"For cold feet, I find merino socks and bootie-style slippers the best combination!"

I'm wearing heat holders and booty slippers now and they're still slightly cold. I'll have a hot water bottle in bed tonight and be fine. I still need a room I'm sitting down in for more than a few minutes to be 20 degrees, whatever I'm wearing.

The heating is turned on, it's just on a thermostat. Mine is set to 17 degrees, I turn it up to 20 if I have certain relatives visit for an hour or so, but I would feel ill if I had to leave it set to that, and it turns off at 8pm so it can drop low enough for me to sleep comfortably.

I think it's reasonable to expect you to be a bit warmer dressed than that. A pair of socks plus slippers? A thermal or long-sleeved top rather than a t-shirt? A cowl? Fingerless gloves if typing?

Jeez... what do you want them to do, wear their coats, scarfs, hats and snow boots also? OP said that they were wearing t-shirts & jumpers. That is good enough!

I don't like being hot. I rarely have the heating on (middle flat in modern block) but do so today! When it's very cold (like now!) I have the heater on in my bedroom overnight as I cannot stand being cold at night (and I already have 15 togs of duvet on my bed).

I think based on staying at my parents' house which has a thermostat that I like my living space at around 18 degrees. Having said that I always get embarrassed when guests ask if they can put the heating on - makes me feel like a bad host.

Can't stand cold homes!

"because you shut your own heating if your "guests" are too hot, do you?
Yeah right..."

I would make a room available for them without heating e.g. their bedroom or a living room/kitchen if I didn't need to be there.

"Or posters who normally switch the heating off at night suddenly leave it on for a week? grin"

I don't normally have it on at night, but if someone stayed over and they needed it because it was colder where they were sleeping or whatever, I'd show them how to switch it on. I've actually done that in the past. I'm not mean like you.

"If you are visiting and my house is too cold for you, you can book another place."

But you need to tell people in advance if you're going to do this. Otherwise, it's not fair is it? OP might have been able to make other arrangements, but it's a bit late now.

Maybe use hot water bottles? Heating can be really expensive. Mine is electric (wet radiators) @ 9kWh x electricity 15p = £1.35/hour. I can't afford to have it on for more than a few hours. I try and keep the house about 16 degrees (using a little heater which is only 0.7kWh ie 10p/hour).

Sorry, OP. I hate being cold so sympathise - but take hot water bottles, wear two pairs of socks and thick jumpers etc even tights under trousers. Hot drinks too.

It's hilarious how UK posters are unable to cope with any temperature.

People are fainting (I am sure not that literally) if it's any warmer than 22C in the summer

Babies are said to be in danger of death if they get ever slightly warmer - the guidance on the GRO website are bonkers, and god knows how babies in a hot country manage to ever survive

but people cannot physically cope if they are in a cold house.

It's ridiculous, just wear more layers. It might not be your ideal, but no need to be a drama queen either. No one is asking you to take a cold shower in an unheated bathroom when it's minus 10 outside, or to sleep outside.

Again, not pleasant, but if your boiler breaks down for a few days, you'll be unhappy but absolutely fine.

Why on earth would you want to dress as if you were outside with millions of layers inside your house! This thread is bizarre with the competitive coldest house! If you struggle to afford heating fair enough but most are ridiculous. Have the thermostat turned up so you are warm with normal indoor clothes eg jeans and a top, not thermals, blankets and gloves. I like my house 20 - 22, at 16 it would be freezing!!!

But it’s just miserable shivering under a blanket with loads of layers on. (Apart from those that can’t afford it)
I’d just leave.
We’re on about 21 degrees here. Perfect. It’s off overnight though as I like to be cool at night.

"OP said that they were wearing t-shirts & jumpers. That is good enough!"

To be fair, that's not winter wear. I don't wear t-shirts in the summer because they have short sleeves and don't keep the heat in. You need some tight or warm tops such as thermal tops. A couple of these under a jumper is reasonable.
I completely agree that they shouldn't have to wear outdoor clothes inside though.
How could anyone not feel ashamed if a guest has to sit there wearing gloves?

Gwenhwyfar

But you need to tell people in advance if you're going to do this. Otherwise, it's not fair is it?

Do your friends always send you the temperature guidelines of their home before you visit? Seriously?

I have absolutely no idea how hot or cold any house will be before I visit, just... plan accordingly?

The OP is not even staying over, just spending the days to avoid some building work.

My god posters on here are so precious and fragile, it's frightening.

I'm not so sure it is a generational thing.

My DF is in his 70s and hates feeling cold / wearing loads of layers and it's never below 21degrees. He's always cold at my house, always set at 19degrees! And I would not sit in a house all day that was cooler than that. Go elsewhere or insist it's too cold for the DC (offer money again if needed).

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer the babies😂 So many people from eastern and central europe I know were horrified babies aren't dressed like for arctic. It's really fun. My grandma talked about some picture i sent, from a visit in one city, for few years because there was a baby in a buggy (or trolley? I don't know) in October in light-ish clothes😂
I often get a good giggle from the two extremes not being able to comorehend the other in this case.

I have mine set at 16.5 degrees and I normally have a window cracked in the bedroom for ventilation, even if it's minus 4, need to sleep with a window open. Obv turn the heating off at night

The NASUWT define a minimum of 16C for classrooms so it is not that cold. I'm scared that I would get a cold if I sat in that for too long though! x

At the end of the day you are the guests in the house so your needs should be taken into account if he is going to be a good host. I think I would go a little doolally staying with my FIL for that long though especially when me and DH want some cheeky time.

"Heating can be really expensive. Mine is electric (wet radiators) @ 9kWh x electricity 15p = £1.35/hour. I can't afford to have it on for more than a few hours. I try and keep the house about 16 degrees (using a little heater which is only 0.7kWh ie 10p/hour)."

Why don't you explore some different heating systems? Halogen heaters? Infrared heaters? I suppose that while your house is 16 degrees, you can be warmer if you're sitting right next to the heater?

Have the thermostat turned up so you are warm with normal indoor clothes eg jeans and a top, not thermals, blankets and gloves. I like my house 20 - 22, at 16 it would be freezing!!!
I am in normal indoor clothing, jeans, long sleeve top and hoodie. My 14 year old is in jeans and a short sleeve tshirt. It is 17 degrees and we are comfortable.

Tell him it's illegal even for factories to be under 17 degrees. Normal office temperature is 21 degrees.

I couldn't cope with 16.5 temperatures inside in the winter. I feel the cold very much. I try not to go higher than 22 degrees but it's really hard. Dh complains at higher than this. He isn't happy when he takes a look and discovers its 24 degrees in the sitting room. We are obviously mismatched. Trying to compromise here tonight. Wearing jeans, heavy jumper, thermal layers, socks. Dh in short sleeved shirt and has just gone upstairs to change into shorts. No-one unreasonable here. I am genuinely feeling cold and longing to turn up the heating a bit, he is genuinely roasting away. And we've been married 47 years. One or the other of us is always sneaking the heating up or down a notch. Maybe FIL just doesn't feel the cold. Dh would do anything for the dgc though, so maybe really stress how cold they are and he will put the heating up.

Why on earth would you want to dress as if you were outside with millions of layers inside your house!

why not?

It's absolutely irrelevant if you wear a tshirt or thermal base layer in your own home.

Some people don't like to have too much difference between indoor and outdoor, or spend money, or whatever. Their home, their choice.

Why do people need to have the air con installed in the UK because it might be over 25C one or 2 days a year?

No one gets to dictate how others warm their house. That might explain why there are so many fights over central heating at work when people not only have different expectations but are unable to accept other people's preferences.

It's only wrong when people only put the heating on when they are home, but leave someone like an au-pair in an unheated house whilst THEY are away. that's just wrong.

"Do your friends always send you the temperature guidelines of their home before you visit? Seriously?"

I have figured out who the tight arses are by now.
Surely common sense tells you that you need heating on in February. Nobody can think it's normal not to have it on in these temperatures so if you're going to do that you need to warn people in advance.

@Betaldene

Tell him it's illegal even for factories to be under 17 degrees. Normal office temperature is 21 degrees.

where did you see that he's running a factory?

I think it's reasonable to expect you to be a bit warmer dressed than that. A pair of socks plus slippers? A thermal or long-sleeved top rather than a t-shirt? A cowl? Fingerless gloves if typing?

Jeez... what do you want them to do, wear their coats, scarfs, hats and snow boots also? OP said that they were wearing t-shirts & jumpers. That is good enough!

Er, no. I would want them to consider a pair of socks plus slippers or a thermal or long-sleeved top rather than a t-shirt. Possibly a cowl and fingerless gloves if typing.

@Betaldene no that is not true, there is no illegal temperature for factories