To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

I would prefer to be able to drive, but it's the cost of the maintenance, running of the car ect hopefully one day I'll drive.

I'm not reliant on anyone. I'm single and no one ever drives me anywhere. I use public transport or my own 2 feet.

And going out with friends is never planned around where you can get to on public transport even if it's less convenient for everyone else, or them always coming to you because it's easier?

I'm not saying this is the case for the PP I'm quoting, but am using it to illustrate as I think sometimes non drivers forget that the tendency for drivers having to plan round them makes them just as 'reliant' as requiring lifts.

@Julianamechange

I think because it is a life skill and it opens up so many opportunities.

I think People who do not drive do not realise how much they are missing out on because they live within their limits and have a reasonable life.

It is also very annoying when you are friends/ partners with non drivers because it limits your options too.

I find it somewhat unambitious if I’m honest (sorry).

I drive, my partner can’t. In what way does that limit my options.

Also unsure how having a disability is unambitious.

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Sparklingbrook but if you live in an area with crap public transport you'd probably just learn to drive.[/quote]
You would have to.

@Happycat1212

Yes I’ve noticed on here that people just assume everyone’s drives, I’ve posted threads on here before and the comments have been like “just drive there” “just take the car” etc

I’m quite guilty of this, all my family and friends drive so in my sphere anyone who doesn’t drive is quite unusual. I get why people don’t or can’t of course though!

@KevinSausage

I'm not reliant on anyone. I'm single and no one ever drives me anywhere. I use public transport or my own 2 feet.

And going out with friends is never planned around where you can get to on public transport even if it's less convenient for everyone else, or them always coming to you because it's easier?

I'm not saying this is the case for the PP I'm quoting, but am using it to illustrate as I think sometimes non drivers forget that the tendency for drivers having to plan round them makes them just as 'reliant' as requiring lifts.

This was my post. And the answer is no, never. There's nowhere I can't get to, I can use a taxi or Uber.

I'm surprised by non drivers as I can't imagine not being able to get in the car and drive to see my parents/sister/brother who all live 20 miles away. I can't imagine never going to do a shop at the supermarket or driving to a shopping centre. I can't imagine having tovrely on others or not sharing lifts with another family after cubs, etc.

I don't have any friends or family who can't drive so maybe that clouds my judgement.

I think it’s a life skill like swimming etc but depends where you live as to whether you need a car or not.

It wouldn’t put me off a partner like others though like I’ve read today. A work ethic is important to me so as long as it didn’t hinder that I wouldn’t care that much.

That's good Waxon, sadly in my experience that isn't always the case. Yes my non driving friend could get a taxi or an Uber but would prefer not to because of the cost. The amount of times I hear 'but you can drive, it makes much more sense for you to come here than me get a taxi...' is infuriating!!

@littlepattilou why would I do that ? I have found it very difficult ( for reasons mentioned previously) my job doesn’t require me to drive .
Why would I bother ?

@KevinSausage

That's good Waxon, sadly in my experience that isn't always the case. Yes my non driving friend could get a taxi or an Uber but would prefer not to because of the cost. The amount of times I hear 'but you can drive, it makes much more sense for you to come here than me get a taxi...' is infuriating!!

I can see how that would be annoying. For me personally, I save a lot of money by NOT having a car so I'm happy to pay for taxis when I need to!

To be fair, the public transport where I am is really good so when we go out it's usually somewhere in the city centre so I hop on the bus. Not always the case elsewhere.

Well, part of why it’s never negatively affected you is that you live with someone who can drive.

I suppose I don’t really care if people can drive or not but I’m surprised how often there’s a thread where someone really needs to get somewhere - to a sick relative, for example - and they say they can’t because ‘I don’t drive’. It’s really very common on MN for someone to be adversely affected by being unable to drive even in an emergency.

It affords an independence that I value.

What @MaskingForIt said. I can't imagine not being able to drive/having my car.

Another time when being able to drive (if you can/want to) is when booking holidays.
You don't have to restrict yourself to the places where it says 'Car not required' and those trips to the USA would be a bit difficult.

I tend to assume people who don't drive have some sort of ban for it

We have a night bus where I live as well so even at 3am I'm sorted

It seems people’s issue is that non drivers ask for lifts- if you don’t want to surely you just say no ?
It can’t impact on your life other wise . I personally( due to my anxiety) don’t really like traveling with other people . The only person I trust with driving is my husband

I left it quite late to learn to drive . I was always worried that I would be rubbish at it . I am pretty independent and didn't rely on others for lifts and used public transport a lot . Obviously , on holidays , weekends away DH drive . However when DC's were born , it became obvious that not being able to drive was going to be a disadvantage. Taking them to hobbies, parties , when then everyone invited the entire class, medical appointments etc was going to be so much easier if we could both drive . I'm am so glad I did . When DH got sick , had to have operations , go to chemotherapy it was a godsend . And I can't imagine what it would have been like if I couldn't drive after he died . You never know what's around the corner . I think it's an important skill to have

I don't want to drive, plus I have terrible anxiety attacks and I'd be terrified of killing anyone.

@SimonJT

Sorry, I don’t recall the sentence in which I said a disability was unambitious.

@Waxonwaxoff0 that’s impressive! I’m far to old for such excitement now 🤣I’m in my pjs by 10

It depends where you live. As a non driver the onus is on you not to move out to a rural or very suburban area.
I’ve always wanted to be on public transport routes and in cycling distance of everywhere even though I can drive because I don’t like to drive daily.

But I’ve heard of so many people moving to vast new build estates or rural areas and then complaining they can’t get anywhere without a car. That’s not on.

[quote Sunnydays999]@Waxonwaxoff0 that’s impressive! I’m far to old for such excitement now 🤣I’m in my pjs by 10[/quote]
Same here. Even if I couldn't drive I would NOT be riding a bus at 3am. Good for shift workers maybe.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I think it’s a life skill like swimming etc but depends where you live as to whether you need a car or not.

It wouldn’t put me off a partner like others though like I’ve read today. A work ethic is important to me so as long as it didn’t hinder that I wouldn’t care that much.

Think you are talking about my post here. It did nearly end our relationship because he lived 35/45 minutes away by car and could only do a job he could get to.

I couldn't move from here because of family commitments so for 3 years I always had to go to him, or go and get him and bring him back to mine (we don't live far from each other but no direct public transport) and then take him back the next day. When we wanted to move in together he decided to move in with me, but spent 12 months looking for a job he could walk to from mine, or which fitted in with public transport timings. No luck with that as our public transport links are shit

We were in complete stalemate, in the end it came down to stay as was (which we both hated) split or him learn to drive. He's now been driving for 6 years....

@Sparklingbrook

Another time when being able to drive (if you can/want to) is when booking holidays. You don't have to restrict yourself to the places where it says 'Car not required' and those trips to the USA would be a bit difficult.

I've not once found not being able to drive an issue when booking a holiday. You can get taxis abroad too.