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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people think everyone should drive

999 replies

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 18:51

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 09/02/2021 05:07

[quote ichundich]@ArcheryAnnie So people who live rural are childish for relying on cars to get about? How else do you suggest they do it? Walk or cycle along a narrow country lane with the national speed limit to their nearest town? Public transport is more or less non-existent outside the London bubble these days.[/quote]
No it isn't, as has been said many times on this thread. I do not live anywhere near London and public transport is great where I live.

Maverickess · 09/02/2021 05:36

Rather than repeatedly attempting to pass a driving test, and making myself ill and skint in the process, I’d rather just accept that I can’t do some things the way drivers do them and plan my life around that accordingly

Ah but there's the rub isn't it? You're not allowed to make that decision, according to many on this thread and others like it. You're not allowed to accept that you can't do this skill and arrange your life accordingly, because that shows that actually you are independent, and capable of living your life just fine without this essential life skill. And that will never do.
I mean who do people like us think we are just accepting something that affects us, and arranging our lives accordingly so we can still live our lives and gave jobs and holidays, when people who drive think that it's not remotely possible and therefore their word is law? We can't possibly be doing those things because they say we can't. Game over. 🙄

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 09/02/2021 07:36

It's becoming more and more clear that it's not even just about being able to drive .

To do all these things you must have a car too, and depending on the set up , possibly even two cars per family. That would be a prohibitive cost for many families.

spiralshell · 09/02/2021 07:41

@UndertheCedartree

I do find it slightly amusing how drivers suddenly can't leave their houses if their car is being repaired or something. They can't possibly walk somewhere or use public transport and expect lifts far more than the people I know who don't drive!
I’ve found this too (and as for the next comment, I imagine drivers wouldn’t notice it so much). I can list many times when cars have broken down and people I know couldn’t possibly have walked or taken public transport to get to work or do the school run despite living in places with decent public transport. Same people wouldn’t think to do a 5-10 minute walk to their local shop either, instead of jumping in the car every time. I despair for the environment.

The judgement on this thread Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 07:44

I do find it slightly amusing how drivers suddenly can't leave their houses if their car is being repaired or something. They can't possibly walk somewhere or use public transport and expect lifts far more than the people I know who don't drive!

You can generally get a courtesy car if your car is being repaired or having a service.

FrancesHaHa · 09/02/2021 07:53

I don't drive - have a license but hate it so haven't driven in years. My brother never learnt. DP doesn't drive either. We chose to live in cities with good public transport and also ride bikes. We don't have need to ask for/ rely on anyone for lifts and we v rarely take taxis either.

FamilyOfAliens · 09/02/2021 07:55

@Sparklingbrook

I do find it slightly amusing how drivers suddenly can't leave their houses if their car is being repaired or something. They can't possibly walk somewhere or use public transport and expect lifts far more than the people I know who don't drive!

You can generally get a courtesy car if your car is being repaired or having a service.

Doesn’t that depend on how much you pay for your insurance?
Maverickess · 09/02/2021 07:55

You can generally get a courtesy car if your car is being repaired or having a service.

No car is getting off our estate and side roads this morning because of the snow and the abandoned vehicles. I smiled as I walked past them all and got to the clear main road and jumped on the bus 🙃
Already aware another colleague isn't turning in because they can't get their essential car out due to the snow on their local road.
But yep, I'm the one that can't do anything because I don't have this essential life skill.

TheJerkStore · 09/02/2021 08:08

@Maverickess

You can generally get a courtesy car if your car is being repaired or having a service.

No car is getting off our estate and side roads this morning because of the snow and the abandoned vehicles. I smiled as I walked past them all and got to the clear main road and jumped on the bus 🙃
Already aware another colleague isn't turning in because they can't get their essential car out due to the snow on their local road.
But yep, I'm the one that can't do anything because I don't have this essential life skill.

How fortunate for you that you live in walking distance to main road, bus stop and a bus service that goes in the direction you need!

Now, I'm not saying everyone need to learn how to drive ( I hated it and put it off as long as I could) but it's unrealistic to think that public transport is a feasible option for everyone - there isn't a bus that goes in the direction of my workplace. I'd have to travel 15 miles in the opposite direction first which feels pointless as my workplace is only 11 miles away!

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:17

Doesn’t that depend on how much you pay for your insurance?

Can't speak for everyone obviously but I don't pay any extra for my insurance to have a courtesy car in the event of an accident. When going for a service the garage arrange to let you have one of their courtesy cars-so not insurance related.

RandomUser18282 · 09/02/2021 08:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:20

How fortunate for you that you live in walking distance to main road, bus stop and a bus service that goes in the direction you need!

Exactly. If I couldn't get my car out due to snow, there would be no smug smiley walking to the bus stop for me. Grin There is no bus. Sad

LolaSmiles · 09/02/2021 08:21

TheJerkStore
My thoughts entirely.
When I lived near a train station that went where I needed, I didn't need to drive. When I moved somewhere without good public transport I did.

Where I currently live I'd have to walk 20-30minutes, depending on speed, to get to the nearest main bus route (all the others on the way run several hours between busses) and that route only goes to a local town centre, which is the wrong direction for my work.

People generally choose their homes and jobs based on their transport availability, and select their need for transport based on their home, job, lifestyle, places they enjoy going.

BananaHammock23 · 09/02/2021 08:22

My DP doesn't drive and it causes some real issues bc I'm always the one expected to do everything. I think it depends on your area. If you're in a city with great transport it's not a problem but if you have to rely on lifts/taxis it's not ideal in a small town or village

Maverickess · 09/02/2021 08:22

How fortunate for you that you live in walking distance to main road, bus stop and a bus service that goes in the direction you need!

I know! What a stroke of luck! It's not like I had any input into where I live and took my lack of driving into account or anything when choosing where to live and where I could work! After all, my lack of driving license totally inhibits me from making those decisions. Apparently.

Maverickess · 09/02/2021 08:25

Exactly. If I couldn't get my car out due to snow, there would be no smug smiley walking to the bus stop for me. grin There is no bus. sad

How inconsiderate and entitled of you to live somewhere it might snow and with no public transport to fall back on. Tut tut.

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:25

I do wonder what it would be like to live somewhere with fully functioning public transport.

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:27

@Maverickess

Exactly. If I couldn't get my car out due to snow, there would be no smug smiley walking to the bus stop for me. grin There is no bus. sad

How inconsiderate and entitled of you to live somewhere it might snow and with no public transport to fall back on. Tut tut.

That's hilarious. I am not going to be moving house so that I can get a bus to work maybe one day a year because of some snow. Grin
RandomUser18282 · 09/02/2021 08:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RandomUser18282 · 09/02/2021 08:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

wellthatsunusual · 09/02/2021 08:31

@Sparklingbrook

How fortunate for you that you live in walking distance to main road, bus stop and a bus service that goes in the direction you need!

Exactly. If I couldn't get my car out due to snow, there would be no smug smiley walking to the bus stop for me. Grin There is no bus. Sad

Same here.

Many many years ago when I bought my house, I was working in a bank my manager had to give permission for me to submit a mortgage application. He made a fuss and said he wasn't sure about signing off on it because it was a rural area and why wasn't I buying in the city with better transport links to work, and he suspected it was just an excuse to avoid working longer hours. Hmm I agreed that I'd be more than willing to live somewhere with good transport, in fact I dreamed of doing so, so was he suggesting a pay rise to enable me to afford to move to somewhere accessible? Funnily enough he backtracked at that stage.

Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:31

The arguments are becoming a bit silly now tbh.

That's threads about driving on MN for you. Grin In RL things are a bit more balanced. None of it actually matters.

Maverickess · 09/02/2021 08:32

@Handsoffstrikesagain

maverickess won’t the other people just use the bus as well? It’s not exclusive to non drivers 🤷🏽‍♀️
Apparently not in the case of my co-workers, no, for the others, who knows? I'd say it's none of my business in reality, but seeing as my lack of driving license seems to be everyone else's business then it seems like it's ok to judge either way? Or does it only work towards non drivers?
Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2021 08:34

@wellthatsunusual, that manager sounds strange and very out of touch. Fancy considering living somewhere you could afford-outrageous!

Maverickess · 09/02/2021 08:35

That's hilarious. I am not going to be moving house so that I can get a bus to work maybe one day a year because of some snow. grin

No more hilarious than telling people they can't possibly do anything or be independent because they can't drive a car. That they're entitled and childish because they can't drive a car.

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