To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

Literally most of the people in the world don't drive and don't have a car.. some of you live a very sheltered existence in a small bubble, most people manage without a car and it doesn't limit them. Also cars are so expensive to have and to drive! At my job most people don't drive and it's not a problem, it's just normal among people who don't have money

over the past couple of years we have been on holiday to the Lake District and the Highlands by public transport both getting there from our town in southern England and getting around once up there. It’s perfectly possible, these places have tourist infrastructure. Our campsite in the Lakes had a bus stop right outside!

Whst if you don't have a bus stop right outside, but the closest is over 3 miles away? Would you have chosen a campsite not close to a bus stop? What if you had three small children, pushchairs and a week's family shop to carry? Does that bus run the same service all year round, or only during the season from Easter to September? Does it get cancelled in bad weather? Could someone commute to the nearest town and back at times which suit a normal 9-5 working day? Every day What? What if someone works shifts that don't fit that?

There are loads of reasons why people living in the country finds public transport doesn't work for them, if it exists at all.

Circumlocutious
I can sympathise with them, but continuing to drive when you can barely see over the steering wheel is a hazard to all other road users, and pedestrians.

But based on what some are claiming on this thread, not driving doesn't inhibit someone's ability to get on with life. I have a feeling those elderly people who are clinging to their licence might disagree though.

They had a really good park and ride to get into my next big town. It was relatively cheap to park and get a return ticket (less than parking in the £££s car parks) and buses every 10 minutes using a Bus Lane for 75% of the journey.

Ok so I drove there but I felt I was doing something to ease congestion in the town.

Then it closed. They've built a school on it now. The car park was generally quite busy and the buses seemed well used.

But based on what some are claiming on this thread, not driving doesn't inhibit someone's ability to get on with life. I have a feeling those elderly people who are clinging to their licence might disagree though.

I think quite a bit of that will depend on whether you've never driven, or did drive and had to give up.

@Sweet666

Literally most of the people in the world don't drive and don't have a car.. some of you live a very sheltered existence in a small bubble, most people manage without a car and it doesn't limit them. Also cars are so expensive to have and to drive! At my job most people don't drive and it's not a problem, it's just normal among people who don't have money

Not having a car can limit you though. It's not sheltered to recognise that.

I think you're very fortunate if you live somewhere where the public transport is good enough to not limit your career or social life options. I never lived anywhere like that.

Out of interest, those on here who learnt as teenagers at 17-18 (seen mentions of it being a rite of passage for teenagers)... did your parents pay for lessons & subsequently a car and / or put you on their insurance?

I know this was the difference between me and my friends who passed their tests, my friends parents all paid for their lessons and they were either bought cars or put on their parents insurance.

I wasn't bought lessons at 17/18 and there's no way I'd have been bought a car or put on the insurance.

I'd have struggled to afford lessons / a car on my part time job at that age too.

Even if you live in a reasonably large town (say 80 to 100,000 people), it may be difficult to manage without a car. Not impossible, but difficult.

My DP lives in such a town. Lovely place, lots of amenities but everyone drives. This is mainly for economic reasons - lots of jobs are in industries in surrounding towns and areas, which are almost impossible to get to without motorised transport. You could cycle the 10 miles or more but realistically no one is going to want to do that journey on a 60mph unlit road in wintertime... plus a lot of the shops, supermarkets etc are on the outskirts rather than the centre of town. Buses from various parts of town go into the town centre, but they don't go area to area. So if you live in the south side of town, and want to go to the supermarket in the north of the town, you'd have to catch a bus into town, and then another one back out. That would cost the best part of £10. Or you could get a taxi which would be the same, except the local taxis are quite unreliable (no Uber there of course). Admittedly you could get your shopping online, if you can get a slot.

But then what about work? If you don't work in the town itself you've still got to get into the town centre for the train, and the trains are only every half an hour to the nearest city (which takes over an hour). There are several other cities/large towns within an hours drive yet there are no direct transport connections to any of them. Anyone who works there has to drive, or move. And the problem with moving for a job is what if that job ends in a year, and there's nothing else local? Then you're moving again, and again.

@covetingthepreciousthings

Out of interest, those on here who learnt as teenagers at 17-18 (seen mentions of it being a rite of passage for teenagers)... did your parents pay for lessons & subsequently a car and / or put you on their insurance?

I know this was the difference between me and my friends who passed their tests, my friends parents all paid for their lessons and they were either bought cars or put on their parents insurance.

I wasn't bought lessons at 17/18 and there's no way I'd have been bought a car or put on the insurance.

I'd have struggled to afford lessons / a car on my part time job at that age too.

I learned at 17 my parents paid for lessons as a 17th birthday present (I had 17 of them at £6.50 each).

I had a FT job though so when I passed my test I had Mum's old car and paid my parents monthly for it and she had a new car. A year or so later I part exchanged it for another car and had a bank loan.

I learnt late for various reasons, so I remember well being the only adult who couldn't drive. There is a bit of a misconception that people who don't drive are having a great time, being chauffeured around like royalty every day. I don't remember much of that, but I do remember lots of standing around in the rain with a push chair, waiting for busses which often just didn't turn up, missing appointments, commutes that would have taken 20 minutes taking an hour, etc. On occasions where I did have to ask for lifts it was a bit embarrassing, being the only adult who couldn't drive. People just love a chance to judge and moan about other people's circumstances when they don't really know what they are, really.

Yes my dad taught me to drive (horrible experience) as he didn't want to pay for all of the lessons. My parents then paid for me to have a few and then paid for my tests. They also bought me a car (an L reg fiat punto). If they hadn't of done this I wouldn't have been able to learn to drive at that time.
But they thought it was really important and I do now. As soon as my kids hit the required age we will be paying for lessons and cars for them. We will make sacrifices elsewhere for them to do this.

As soon as my kids hit the required age we will be paying for lessons and cars for them. We will make sacrifices elsewhere for them to do this.

How lucky for your children that you have enough spare cash to buy them all driving lessons and cars!

My dad taught my sister and I to drive in my mum's old car when we were 17 with just a few proper lessons and test. We didn't have our own cars though until we'd finished university. We stayed insured on my mum's banger.

I have done the same with my 3 as I see it as an essential life skill and they'd all passed their tests by 18.

They are now all in big cities and don't have their own cars.

I guess we are all lucky.

@covetingthepreciousthings

Out of interest, those on here who learnt as teenagers at 17-18 (seen mentions of it being a rite of passage for teenagers)... did your parents pay for lessons & subsequently a car and / or put you on their insurance?

I know this was the difference between me and my friends who passed their tests, my friends parents all paid for their lessons and they were either bought cars or put on their parents insurance.

I wasn't bought lessons at 17/18 and there's no way I'd have been bought a car or put on the insurance.

I'd have struggled to afford lessons / a car on my part time job at that age too.

My Mum taught me to drive. They had a small shop, so I'd drive daily, taking them between home and shop, to wholesalers, doing deliveries, etc. so had a lot of experience in a very short period of time. As the test date approached, I had a couple of lessons with a professional (more like mock tests) to highlight any bad habits etc. I passed first time.

I did the same with my son a couple of years ago. Again, not so much "formal" lessons, but just doing all the local driving, i.e. to/from his bus stop every day, visiting parents' house twice a week, shopping twice a week, just lots and lots of short journeys. He taught himself the theory test by using online resources and passed it with full marks. I taught him all the things I did on my test, (but many of which aren't tested anymore), such as hill starts, emergency stops, reversing round corners, 3 point turns, etc - he ended up doing more than was needed so could easily cope with what he would be asked to do in the test, such as parking, etc. We didn't bother with an instructor, and he passed first time with just a single "minor".

When the DSs learned at 17 we paid for some of the lessons as did grandparents as a birthday present ( by this time they were £26 an hour). They paid for other lessons with money from PT jobs, and I took them both out for practice.

Thankfully they both passed first time (although had to have 2 goes at the theory test each).

DS1 (21) is at Uni where he's no need for one but there's nowhere to keep one and DS2 (19) is earning and running his own car.)

A lot of DS1's friends had the car with a bow around it on the drive on their 17th birthday though.

@EBearhug

over the past couple of years we have been on holiday to the Lake District and the Highlands by public transport both getting there from our town in southern England and getting around once up there. It’s perfectly possible, these places have tourist infrastructure. Our campsite in the Lakes had a bus stop right outside!

Whst if you don't have a bus stop right outside, but the closest is over 3 miles away? Would you have chosen a campsite not close to a bus stop? What if you had three small children, pushchairs and a week's family shop to carry? Does that bus run the same service all year round, or only during the season from Easter to September? Does it get cancelled in bad weather? Could someone commute to the nearest town and back at times which suit a normal 9-5 working day? Every day What? What if someone works shifts that don't fit that?

There are loads of reasons why people living in the country finds public transport doesn't work for them, if it exists at all.

I was specifically talking here about how it’s possible to go on holiday in the countryside without a car which many posters had decided was impossible. Obviously I wouldn’t have chosen a campsite 3 miles from a bus stop but that’s a completely bizarre point because I wouldn’t have to, my point being that these services exist!

But what if the campsite 3 miles from the bus stop was the best camp site? Much better than the ones nearer the bus stop?

A lot of DS1's friends had the car with a bow around it on the drive on their 17th birthday though.

Blimey, how the other half lives, eh?

Out of interest, those on here who learnt as teenagers at 17-18 (seen mentions of it being a rite of passage for teenagers)... did your parents pay for lessons & subsequently a car and / or put you on their insurance?
Between my parents and my GP's I was given 10 lessons for my 17th. I was nowhere near passing after that and although I was working full time it was a trainee wage of £70 a week, I was also paying for night classes at college. My Dad was always telling me I'd never be able to afford to run a car or be allowed to be able insured on theirs so couldn't see the point of continuing after that.

DD is 21. She started lessons shortly after she turned 17.
We've paid for-
weekly lessons for nearly two years at £20 a lesson,
a 2 hour instructor assessment £75,
then 4 months with a different instructor at £35 a lesson,
a car around £3000,
two lots of insurance for the car around £1400 total,
numerous repairs for the car around £500,
eight practical tests £62 plus use of instructors car for three of them,
three theory tests, £69,
two driving day courses £220,
She still hasn't passed.
The next thing is a weekend course with the test included around £500.
It's getting ridiculous but I don't want her to give up.

Where I grew up (mid size town, 2000s) used to have poor bus services. People used them more and now it has good bus services. So it does happen.
My parents used to drive me to places that were easily within walking distance and then wonder why I was a fat child. I don’t want that for my kids.

@FamilyOfAliens

A lot of DS1's friends had the car with a bow around it on the drive on their 17th birthday though.

Blimey, how the other half lives, eh?

Absolutely. DS1 seemed to mix with the kids with very, very well off parents at school, and some that were quite showy about it.

Even DS1 thought it was a bit pointless to get a car as a present when you couldn't even drive it yet.

I didn't learn to drive til mid twenties. I grew up in London it was pretty pointless driving!

But I did find that it restricted me with job applications as most in my field required a driving licence. I learnt pretty quickly by doing 2hour lessons but then didn't get a car until after a year of passing my test.

When I moved to Scotland 10 years ago I definitely needed a car! Public transport outside of the central belt is horrendous and cycling isn't really a option from Nov-march due to the ice and currently snow!

Sorry I haven't rtft but I learnt as an adult and love the fact that I can just say yes to things for me or the children without hesitating now. It did used to limit where we could go and what we could join in when I couldn't drive as not everywhere is accessible on public transport or might require multiple bus changes etc.

Having said that I was fitter as I walked a lot more before I could drive! I managed fine, particularly pre DC. I can understand why drivers do stress the convenience point though as for a lot of journeys it undoubtably is. I grew up without a car and I remember at secondary school it limiting my friendships as out of school I could only really get to those I was able to walk to, otherwise other peoples parents had to give me lifts (which I'm sure they didn't mind in the situation) but I found embarrassing. I'm glad I can take my children places where and when we choose.

@Sparklingbrook

But what if the campsite 3 miles from the bus stop was the best camp site? Much better than the ones nearer the bus stop?

What? Campsites are much of a muchness. This clutching at straws is bizarre. Here’s the link in case you’re wondering how awful the site was. From there we walked to Windermere for the day which is almost 8 miles, for fun not to mention the other hikes we did.