To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

I was like you @ItWasTheBestOfTimes i took test four times in the uk, relocated to ireland. Took it four times in ireland as well. Passed eventually. But i feel annoyed with myself that i threw so much money in to it. Social pressure not to feel inadequate. But the 8th time was the charm. I could have extended my kitchen with that money!!
I didnt buy a car because i still live near many bus stops. Im on a bus now 🤪😀

Not everyone lives within walking distance of a school. And if they do it is not necessarily the school they will be allocated.

I didn’t say they did. I said we chose to live within walking distance of a school so that we didn’t have to be chained to the school run for years and years.

I would have thought that if you live in London, you would know what the school allocation system is and would either decide to stay or move somewhere you had more choice.

Similarly, if living rurally was more important to you than your children being able to walk to school and to their friends’ houses, you would accept that you would have to drive them everywhere.

@ItWasTheBestOfTimes why is your DP not encouraging you more rather than basically telling you that he doesn't think you will be a competent driver? I couldn't live with someone who took such a patronising attitude.

Do you practice in the car? If not you should, that between lessons practice really helps to normalise driving, for me it was the key to passing my test. I used to drive on any shopping trips, to drop off DC at friends etc, any time we needed to use the car at weekends and DP was available to supervise me.

Don't allow your DPs attitude to put you off driving or think it's pointless. It really isn't. And when you do pass, make sure you use the car whenever YOU want to. Passing your test is really only the first step in learning to drive, you learn so much just driving around in the first few years...being on your own in the car seems scary at first but you quickly adjust. And the freedom of being able to hop in the car whenever you need to is amazing.

I’m not that surprised if I hear or someone who doesn’t drive, I suppose it’s personal choice like everything else. For me I had no choice being brought up in a rural village with a bus service that only went to one place! I live in a different village now and the schools are not in walking distance and I also work in community nursing so driving is essential

@AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii

I’m not that surprised if I hear or someone who doesn’t drive, I suppose it’s personal choice like everything else. For me I had no choice being brought up in a rural village with a bus service that only went to one place! I live in a different village now and the schools are not in walking distance and I also work in community nursing so driving is essential

I think if you choose a profession where you drive between clients, it’s a given you have to drive!

I love being on the bus listening to audibles or podcasts tbh.
I cant believe that shaming people for not driving is still a thing! Melting icecaps rising sea levels fire raging out of control pandemics that may be linked to environmental issues..... how how how can shaming people for not driving still be acceptable ??

Oh well. I cant fix this madness.

@Ilovegreentomatoes

Do ppl not understand not everyone can afford to learn/run a car?

They really don't seem to do they!

My SIL and BIL don't drive and rely heavily on my PIL. Normally it's not an issue but it's continued during lockdown and puts my aged PIL at extra risk.

Personally I would really hate to be dependent on other people for getting lifts all the time.

@FamilyOfAliens

Prepare to be amazed then. 🤷‍♀️ I have never needed a taxi. I can’t see why I would and definitely don’t have a number in my phone.

That’s another thing that’s apparent from this thread - some people seem unable to imagine a situation in which they couldn’t use their car because, for example, they had broken down.

My guess is in that situation they would do what they always criticise non-drivers for - they’d ask a friend or family member for a lift

I would use DH's or DS's car in that situation but it's not happened yet.

In honour of this thread I will put the phone number of a local taxi company in my phone right away.

@Sarcobaleno

My SIL and BIL don't drive and rely heavily on my PIL. Normally it's not an issue but it's continued during lockdown and puts my aged PIL at extra risk.

Personally I would really hate to be dependent on other people for getting lifts all the time.

I think if you RTFT you’ll see that most non-drivers have said they don’t rely on other people to drive them and are completely independent when it comes to travelling.

@Handsoffstrikesagain

For those saying that they can’t afford to run a car but would like to, have you had a look at Drover? Before anyone jumps on me I absolutely appreciate that the cars may be out of budget but as no one has said what they can/can’t afford I just thought I’d mention it. There are cars on there from around £200 a month but for that you get insurance and tax included and all the servicing costs that can really limit people when looking into getting a car. Just thought I’d put it out there anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️

£200 a month is a lot of money.

It is, but people must be spending that or more a month on buses/trains and taxis.
I could not believe how much the bus fare was for about 3 stops around here and the train fares are ££££s.

Yeh, and it'd be wasted money for a lot of people who live near good transport networks

@Sarcobaleno

My SIL and BIL don't drive and rely heavily on my PIL. Normally it's not an issue but it's continued during lockdown and puts my aged PIL at extra risk.

Personally I would really hate to be dependent on other people for getting lifts all the time.

Not all non drivers rely on others for lifts though! I can't remember the last time I was in a car.

@DanceLikeAdamAnt

Yeh, and it'd be wasted money for a lot of people who live near good transport networks

Absolutely, you wouldn't spend ££££s on trains/buses/taxis and on a car. Why would you? but you can replace one with the other should you wish or want to, that's all.

@Sparklingbrook

It is, but people must be spending that or more a month on buses/trains and taxis. I could not believe how much the bus fare was for about 3 stops around here and the train fares are ££££s.

I'm quite lucky as my job is walking distance so I don't spend much on travel. I'm spending £0 on travel right now due to the pandemic!

I'm also lucky that my ex husband (DS's dad) is a train driver so DS gets a free travel pass.

My travel card is through work so for 29 euro a money deducted before tax, i can go anywhere.
They have the same tax saver incentives to use publ8c transport in the uk i believe

Occasionally i get a taxi home. It still could not come close to the cost of running a car. I have no driving history so ins v expensive in ireland. It may not be as bad in the uk.

Anyway, im happy as i am and it is shocking that people still shame non drivers. This is my stop now 🤪😁
Thank god i dont have to park!

@Sweet666, you can’t have been around the world very much - or else very selectively - if you honestly think it’s a ‘British’ thing. 😂

And while I’m at it, why do so many MNers like to say that whatever habit or aspect of life they disapprove of, is a ‘British’ thing?

Because everywhere else basks in the sunlit uplands of moral and general superiority in everything?

@MaskingForIt

It’s just a useful life skill, a bit like being able to tie your shoes laces or make food to eat.

The difference is that everybody needs to eat, not everybody needs to drive. Also, more people tying shoelaces isn't going to damage the environment and accelerate global warming. The world desperately needs people to drive less, to only drive when they have to, to not drive if they can find other ways of managing. My parents have managed their whole lives without driving; dh and I managed for the first 10 years of our marriage (with small children) without a car and I still don't drive. I don't cadge lifts off friends, I look after myself, I walk long distances, I have chosen to live in a place where I knew this would be possible (though there are prettier places to live), I don't inconvenience anyone and I arguably do some good for the world. But when I read MN, I am left with a vague feeling that I am somehow letting the side down by not driving. Strange. If fossil fuels are limited (as we know they are) and the planet can only take so many emissions, you'd have thought those of us who can avoid driving should be applauded for leaving limited resources for those of you who need to drive.

@Sparklingbrook

It is, but people must be spending that or more a month on buses/trains and taxis. I could not believe how much the bus fare was for about 3 stops around here and the train fares are ££££s.

My partner doesn’t drive. He pays maybe £15-20 a month on public transport. Here unlimited bus journeys are £1.50 within the first hour. There is a daily cap of £4.50 and a weekly cap of £21, a monthly pass is £80. If you’re on benefits such as universal credit etc you can get an ID card which reduces the cost by 50%, you just replace the card every 6 months and have it activated which links it to your oyster card and account.

That's great @Waxonwaxoff0. I did start to think that if I ever did have to replace all my car journeys (work is 8 miles away down the motorway) with taxis/buses/trains it would be an absolute fortune.

You’re probably just projecting your annoyance at people’s judgement.
Replace ‘drive’ with ‘cook’. Same effect...

I obviously should have said some people @SimonJT.

What is becoming very obvious from this thread is that people on both sides of the argument are extremely defensive about their own particular circumstances.