To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

I never said you had to do them, or be experts at either. Just that they were life skills.

@PastaAndPizzaPlease

You don’t necessarily need to drive as in have a car and actively be driving but I think everyone should be able to. It gives you more choices and options and means you can be more independent.

How are you more independent than me?

You can stop back-pedalling @SchrodingersImmigrant. I know what you meant.

I can walk to a beach, but that's not the point.

More to the point, ''Remote'' is not for me. That's not where I long to be.

You don’t necessarily need to drive as in have a car and actively be driving but I think everyone should be able to.

Well everyone can't - as has been said multiple times.

I haven’t been able to afford to learn to drive until now...and now my theory test keep getting cancelled thanks to the pandemic. I wouldn’t say driving is a life skill, it’s a convenience. Like, if I want to tie my shoelaces I can do it. Ask me for a grand to tie my shoelaces and I can’t.

@GoldenOmber

Ah, I see we've hit the "I got a bus once, let me tell you of the horror" stage of Mumsnet Non-Driving Discussions.

Oh I don't know, the horror stories do sometimes give a good enough reason to preferring driving.

Last time DH and I got on a bus he stood in vomit. It got on his jeans and mine. We were hours from home. We had to walk around in vomit smelling clothes until we found public toilets to wash what we could without stripping off. Then we had to walk around in wet, faintly vomit smelling clothes.

To be fair, being reliant on a car also limits people in many ways, but those tend to be less visible because they're so accepted as normal.

Running a car costs a lot, even more than my (extortionate) train season ticket. I've never had to pay that. Nor have I had to stress about finding parking or paying for parking. I don't have to worry about car theft or damage. Cars break down just like trains do, but if my train breaks down the train company will haul it out of the way and put another train on, I don't have to deal with getting it fixed or pay for it myself. I know all the local train and bus routes and times, so I don't have to look them up. And (most appealing personally), if I'm travelling, I can read a book or knit or whatever I fancy at the same time, because I'm not the one responsible for paying attention to the road.

I'm not saying this makes me freer than drivers, or makes me a more adventurous or independent person.

I got a taxi to hospital when I was in labour. This is something that many of my friends find horrifying even now. But... why? They got to driven by stressed panicking husbands and partners, were alone for a while in maternity triage while said stressed new dad faffed around acres of car parking looking for a space and got back to the building. I got a fast, professional car journey, sat in the back of a black cab with DH, got straight to the door of the hospital and nobody had to go off and find somewhere to park. So I think that worked out brilliantly, but I know to some of my friends who drive this is an absolute horror story - "and she even had to get a TAXI to HOSPITAL in LABOUR!" It's all perspective.

I can't drive and I don't even mind. In fact I'm glad I never learned because when I starting having issues with my sight and they said I didn't have the required eyesight to operate a vehicle it didn't bother me. I can imagine how that must affect drivers so much as they're used to travelling at will. If I want to get somewhere I walk, rely on public transport or ask for a lift from my husband. I deliberately chose to live in an area where most of the things I need are within walking distance.

If you can't drive you are dependent on others driving you or on public transport/ cycle/ bus. You can only travel to places you can get to on public transport or taxi or under your own footpower or combination thereof, and for public transport at days and times when those services are running.

My DP lives 200 miles away. We can travel to each others houses by public transport via London, multiple changes but only at certain hours of the day; if there was a sudden emergency after 7pm, we could drive to the other. But we wouldn't be able to make the journey by public transport til the next day which if it was something urgent would be too late.

That's just one example of many.

@FamilyOfAliens

You can stop back-pedalling *@SchrodingersImmigrant*. I know what you meant.

I am not backpedalling🙄

Before I learned to drive, it really did limit my kids' options. I used to dread getting party invitations and having to work out if I could possibly get there or if I'd have to decline and have them miss out.

Now my kids are older, if one phoned and said 'I want to come home' from a friend's house, I would get in the car and go straight to them. It could even be a safety issue as they get older. I have taken them straight to A&E for various accidents over the years (non ambulance scenarios but serious enough to need stitching up or x raying).

How are you more independent than me?

Oh come on, you can choose not to drive without being naive about what it means.

I'm more independent because I can be anywhere in the UK within the shortest time possible at any time of the day or night with or without anyone I choose for any reason without having to rely on a single other person.

You don't need to drive. The world has gone mad. family member of mine said they could not possibly cope without the car as how would they get the kids to school and her to work school is 15 min walk max work 25 same route school then work. There is Enough cars on the road an lazy people as it is. People should be encouraged to walk or take public transport (after covid) more than drive.

@Grenlei

If you can't drive you are dependent on others driving you or on public transport/ cycle/ bus. You can only travel to places you can get to on public transport or taxi or under your own footpower or combination thereof, and for public transport at days and times when those services are running.

My DP lives 200 miles away. We can travel to each others houses by public transport via London, multiple changes but only at certain hours of the day; if there was a sudden emergency after 7pm, we could drive to the other. But we wouldn't be able to make the journey by public transport til the next day which if it was something urgent would be too late.

That's just one example of many.

People keep going on about being dependent on others to drive them. When I first stopped driving I used to accept lifts from people.

Then I started reading all the threads on here about how people offer lifts but actually most of the time really resent doing it, but aren’t honest enough to say it. I’d like to think the people I know aren’t like this, but how do I know? So I say no to every offer of a lift now.

Medical reasons aside, it's a pretty basic life skill. Especially if you're a parent or have caring responsibilities.

It's also unfair to rely on other people to do it. I'm not sure why anyone wouldnt who could.

If you can't drive you are dependent on others driving you or on public transport/ cycle/ bus. You can only travel to places you can get to on public transport or taxi or under your own footpower or combination thereof, and for public transport at days and times when those services are running.

And your point is? I imagine people who don't drive know this and are okay with it. Don't project the way you want to live your life onto other people.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose good for you. DCs school isn't within walking distance and is very rural so we need a car to get there and back to start work on time.

@eaglejulesk

If you can't drive you are dependent on others driving you or on public transport/ cycle/ bus. You can only travel to places you can get to on public transport or taxi or under your own footpower or combination thereof, and for public transport at days and times when those services are running.

And your point is? I imagine people who don't drive know this and are okay with it. Don't project the way you want to live your life onto other people.

Agree I don't drive no intention of learning. I don't get lifts from people I walk everywhere if its walking distance if not bus or taxi. My kids have great days out miles from home taking the train bus even ferry its all part of the fun.

It's bloody inconvenient not to drive/have a car. It's an absolute pain to have to use public transport everywhere. A route that could take 15 mind by car can take 40 or longer by public transport.

I'm in London and find my car very useful!

For households where neither of you drive, what do you do about things like tip runs for instance?

Pay the council for bulk uplift.

For households where neither of you drive, what do you do about things like tip runs for instance?

DH drives but absolutely hates going to the tip. I have a friend with a transit and he’s always up for doing a tip run for cash as he’s in a low paid job as a driver for a special school.

Works well for both of us.

I would also gently suggest that you possibly know more non-drivers than you think. Plenty of people I know don’t know that I don’t drive because it’s never come up in conversation.

I'd be shocked of someone didn't drive where I live. We literally have a bus that comes once per hour and a 40 min walk to the train station for a train that comes a couple of times per day in either direction. It would be a nightmare to cycle too due to all the steep hills.