To wonder why people think everyone should drive

[Sunnydays999]

Tried several times in my 20s .My dyslexia means I find some aspects hard . I also have anxiety and driving made this worse .
My husband drives . He has always driven on holidays and days out .
It surprises me on here and in real life how shocked people are that I don’t drive . I just wondered why ?

chauffeur even!

@iklboo

Its nothing like tying your shoelaces or making a meal. You don't need fast reaction times for those.

Exactly. Nobody is in danger of being killed if I couldn't tie my shoelaces or make a meal.

So true I hate those analogies. Making a mistake in a car could have terrible consequences it's nothing like those other things.

Its fine not to be able to drive if you can get around easily with good public transport etc. But if you live rurally with infrequent buses it must be a pain, and doing the weekly shop difficult too. I have a friend who doesn't, and when her kids was younger it was up to everyone else to take her child to parties, playdates, sports etc. She always offered to pay for a taxi but knew full well that someone would pick up and drop off. It also meant that person was responsible for the child too, which I don't think she did consider.
I also equate driving with freedom. I would hate to have to rely on someone else to go anywhere, or wait for a taxi, or be tied to a train schedule.

Dd passed her driving test last month. She is loving the independence it gives her.

snobbery and elitism
driving lessons are expensive, as is car ownership, so being able to drive is a mark of wealth - and if you can't afford that lifestyle the people of mumsnet think you deserve to be sneered at and told your existence is a burden on your betters

I've lived in London, Seoul, Singapore, and New York. Driving always seemed like much more of a hassle as you'd have to think of where to park, worry about traffic, and there's that supreme inconvenience of having to walk all the way back to your car if you ever decided to go on a long post-dinner stroll. Trains are great and if you ever have to carry a load of stuff, there's always Taxis and Ubers!

I don't - whoops can't - drive. People do often seem very surprised and almost offended sometimes when adults don't drive, I suppose if they are regularly put upon for lifts this is understandable. I really try to make sure I don't do this - I have always used public transport for work and so on. I certainly would never expect someone not to drink on a night out so I could have a lift, thats what taxis are for. If going out with friends for coffee or something, if they do offer a lift I'd offer to buy their coffee etc.

As with some previous posters, there's no medical reason I can't drive. I do find it makes me more anxious than literally anything else and I struggle to get my head round it. I agree it is an important skill though and does increase your options - whilst I've generally managed up to now some recent changes to circumstances have made me think that once things are up and running again I should commit to getting it done. It's not quite as easy as some posters seem to think though - the massive cost now being part of it but also I'm really going to struggle to find childcare for when I'm having lessons (when DD's in school I'm at work).

I only ever see this on mn. I guess there’s many people who don’t drive but I honestly don’t know any adults who don’t. Mind you, living here it would be very very limiting. If you live in London/south east with better public transport then its possibly more common.

It is the single worst thing for our environment. I didn't learn till I was 30 because of this and people looked at me like I have 3 heads.
Who's laughing now?. Well actually I'm not laughing because climate change threatens us all but I live in the sticks so had to learn eventually.

@lyralalala my husband has the same view as you, he was the reason why after several failed attempts I stopped lessons. He said he worried about me in the car . I get anxious and have dyslexia . Tbh I continued longer than I should because of pressure from those around me . Thankfully my kids don’t have my issues !

Some people don't drive because they don't want to or don't need to as they can manage perfectly well on their own steam.
Some people don't drive and then expect others to facilitate their lives by giving them lifts everywhere or organising social events around the non-driver's lack of car, public transport destinations, going out their way to collect the non-driver. They then claim they don't need to drive, but what they actually mean is I have a team of people who I expect to facilitate my choice.

Bedtimebear40
We must have had similar childhoods in that respect. I hated only having one parent that drove and it severely limited my options for seeing friends and joining clubs.

Trains are great and if you ever have to carry a load of stuff, there's always Taxis and Ubers!

Not likely to get an Uber round here and even taxis are limited. I can drive to Bristol in an hour but that would take an hour and a half by train with at least one and possibly 2 changes. Really depends where you live. In a car I can visit the sea side or have a choice of 3 cities plus many other place like National trust properties. Get in a car and follow maps. Your weekends would be very limited without a car in my town.

@malificent7 I wouldn’t choose to live in the sticks , but if I did I can see how you would need to drive

It is the single worst thing for our environment.

No. I think the destruction of natural habitats, deforestation and water pollution would rank more highly than emissions from cars.

Not likely to get an Uber round here and even taxis are limited. I can drive to Bristol in an hour but that would take an hour and a half by train with at least one and possibly 2 changes. Really depends where you live. In a car I can visit the sea side or have a choice of 3 cities plus many other place like National trust properties. Get in a car and follow maps. Your weekends would be very limited without a car in my town.

It's definitely regional! I've got family in Cornwall and I can definitely see the need for a car. When I was in New York/Singapore especially though, you could call a taxi/Uber and it'd arrive in about 5 min max. A 10 min train ride might also translate into a 30 min car ride as trains arrived every 2 mins or so and you didn't have to worry about any traffic jams during peak hours.

@m0therofdragons

Trains are great and if you ever have to carry a load of stuff, there's always Taxis and Ubers!

Not likely to get an Uber round here and even taxis are limited. I can drive to Bristol in an hour but that would take an hour and a half by train with at least one and possibly 2 changes. Really depends where you live. In a car I can visit the sea side or have a choice of 3 cities plus many other place like National trust properties. Get in a car and follow maps. Your weekends would be very limited without a car in my town.

I don't think Ubers exist around here either. There's taxis but you would need to know the number.

I too could also drive to Bristol in about an hour but it would be a lot of trains to get there and the same again back.

[quote Sunnydays999]@lyralalala my husband has the same view as you, he was the reason why after several failed attempts I stopped lessons. He said he worried about me in the car . I get anxious and have dyslexia . Tbh I continued longer than I should because of pressure from those around me . Thankfully my kids don’t have my issues ![/quote]
Well done for escaping that pressure!

There are no other really dangerous activities people would continue to pressure someone to do in the way they do driving.

Haha @Sparklingbrook maybe we’re neighbours

I can't imagine never going to do a shop at the supermarket

oooh i missed this one
non-drivers... eat out of bins? grow all their own food? photosynthesise?

or perhaps we go to the supermarket just like everyone else and carry the bags home, either on foot or by bus or taxi
(and before anybody starts with any 'oh! i could never do a proper shop that way' you just need to get better at bagging - a sensible rucksack can hold loads and leave your hands free for more bags. a healthy adult can move a big shop that way easily. honestly 90% of the things people here say non-drivers can't do are just proof that dependence on a car stunts your ability to think of any other ways of doing things)

@m0therofdragons

Haha *@Sparklingbrook* maybe we’re neighbours

Nearest seaside Weston-Super Mare? I will not be going there by any mode of transport.

I don't think Ubers exist around here either. There's taxis but you would need to know the number.

You know you can look up the number, don’t you?

honestly 90% of the things people here say non-drivers can't do are just proof that dependence on a car stunts your ability to think of any other ways of doing things)

What a strange thing to say.

@FamilyOfAliens

I don't think Ubers exist around here either. There's taxis but you would need to know the number.

You know you can look up the number, don’t you?

No need. I drive.

My DP grew up in a village with no public transport and his parents didn’t give him lifts. He just cycled or ran everywhere instead and now he’s very fit. He drives but I don’t ask him for lifts - we don’t use the car unless we are going to his parents’ house and that’s only because I didn’t have a bike until now but we’ll cycle once visiting is allowed again (15 miles).

People need to get a granny trolley for their weekly shop, they’re honestly great. I take that and a cool bag if I’m getting a lot of frozen stuff and it’s all fine for at least my 45 minute walk.

I can drive but I absolutely hate it and avoid it where POAS