To not let DH be my birthing partner

[toweltowel]

Am due any day now and had an explosive row with DH over something petty last night, it has carried on today and he is being cruel and ignoring me and leaving the room every-time I walk in, we had another row this morning where he said some unbelievably nasty things to me.
If I go into labour right now, I couldn't think of anything worse than him being there with me and I would prefer to go it alone (no family or close enough friends nearby to ask instead).
We generally get on fine but some of the things he has said about me were really horrible and he has not apologised or shown any remorse.

AIBU to tell him I don't want him there?

My dh is lovely but he was awful in labour wiyh dc1 so I told him not to bother staying once he'd dropped me off for DC2. It was so much better doing it alone than have him looking all anxious the entire time but not actually doing anything apart from play on his phone

It's misandry (not a thing, by the way) to not prioritise men's feelings above all else, including the health of a mother and her newborn baby during the female bodily act of childbirth? Hahaha!! must try harder, F-.

On the spectrum? It doesn't make you an abusive twat. If he has no empathy, that's called being a psychopath not having SEN.

Lots of advice, thanks everyone!
I've been focusing on meditating and listening to lots of positive affirmations which have given me lots of strength to know I can do this alone if I need to.
I started labour last night but still at home at the moment as things progressing slowing. DH still working and I'm on my own resting as much as I can. I will need him to drive me to the hospital when the time comes.
We have made up since my last message and things are calm, however still no real love or support from him, my feelings towards him haven't changed, but now is not the time to dwell on arguments or start thinking long term.
I told him I didn't really want him in the room and he seemed horrified, so I am not going to discuss it with him any further and see what happens when I am in the hospital. My plan is to have a word with the midwife privately and then take it from there.

Wishing you good luck and hope all goes well for you.

Good luck with the labour OP!

If he seems horrified about not being there then maybe he can step up and start being nicer to you.

Sending you strength x

Good luck OP. We have your back. Do whatever is best for YOU and your mental wellbeing right now. You can deal with the rest later. Good idea to talk privately to the midwife in the first instance.

Wishing you a positive birth experience x

Good luck op, hope you have a safe and swift delivery.

Good luck OP. I gave birth to DC4 on my own after DH stonewalled me for the last 6 months of my pregnancy. It was OK, I felt free to scream / poo / vomit (sorry...) without him by my side.

Wishing you a calm safe delivery

Good luck op xx

Good luck OP

I wouldn't want him there either. Don't let him browbeat you into it either.

Perhaps your friend could drive you to the hospital, while he stays with your D.C.? Swap jobs?

And typical that a bloke can be horrified that his pregnant partner doesn't want a shouty, critical man in the room while she's giving birth.

@MintyMabel

And that is helpful to OP right now.... how?

Because she doesn’t seem to realise the real issue isn’t about whether he should be in the birthing room, it is about how he treats her and will undoubtedly treat her children. Saying cruel things to your partner is not acceptable under any circumstances. Doing it whenever you lose your temper is unforgivable.

Yes but the birth is kind of imminent and she’s hormonal & doesn’t need the stress. So she should focus on that right now.

LTB or not is something to be dealt with when she and baby are safe & well.

Just read your update sound good. Good luck 💐