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Original poster

What would happen to my partners money if he dies and we weren't married?

419 replies

grannyinapram · 07/02/2021 12:44

Not a huge amount but we are saving for a house so he has a couple of thousand in his account and I have the same in mine.
We have dc and have lived together since being teens.
But getting married is a hard one because althoufh we are enganged, we don't want to get married yet. The 'wedding' isn't happening until after we buy the house anyway because we don't want to waste money on a crappy affair when we are renting.
Priorities and all that. Covid has pushed both further out of our reach.

I was just reading the will thread where the husband won't write one and it made me wonder what will happen to our money if we died?
We aren't even 30 yet so it seems a little presumptuous to write a will, however DH (not yet lol) has a fairly dangerous job so I'm always worried of the 'what ifs'

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal? would anyone else have a claim? does it go to our kids? no idea.

OP posts:
Mulletonyourhead · 07/02/2021 13:21

@Jarstastic If you’re married and your partner dies, do you automatically have their state pension? Plus extra benefits? We aren’t married either, so I’m reading with interest also. We have a house in both our names 50/50

wibblewombat · 07/02/2021 13:21

I'd also be making Lasting Powers of Attorney, in case he is incapacitated but not dead if he has a dangerous job.

JengaJanga · 07/02/2021 13:22

You both need wills and get life insurance if you havent.

Can you get a joint account?

MadCattery · 07/02/2021 13:22

You mention that you’re saving for a house. Would you consider a joint account for that money? That would be something, until you either get married or write wills. I’m not sure he’d be allowed to leave everything to you anyway, with children. I’ve known a lot of people that died young and suggest you don’t waste time getting this sorted.

Mulletonyourhead · 07/02/2021 13:23

Do you all have life insurance? What does your husband having life insurance mean for you?

Brefugee · 07/02/2021 13:23

You seem to be equating getting married with having the big expensive party. You live together and have children - just get married ffs. Have the party any time you like if that's what you want.

And make wills. It's ridiculous not to, especially if you're married.

IM0GEN · 07/02/2021 13:24

@AnotherEmma

It's at best naive and at worst irresponsible to have children and not consider things like this.

Go to the registry office. Have a big wedding celebration when it's possible again and when you can afford what you want.

Get wills and life insurance. As a matter of urgency. Lots of helpful advice about these things on MoneySavingExpert.

If you don't want to get a marriage certificate ASAP then it's absolutely crucial that you sort wills and life insurance NOW.

This.

I can’t believe that you don’t care about protecting each other and your children. Priorities and all that.

Nohomeschoolingtoday · 07/02/2021 13:24

I have a friend who sadly lost their partner in a car accident. They didn’t have children - but his Mum took the money they had been saving in his savings account to buy a house quite a substantial amount sadly :( as there was no will & the mother wouldn’t even give her half the money. Caused a lot of anger a will would have made all the difference.

IlonaRN · 07/02/2021 13:24

@Chimeraforce

We're not married together 25 years 1 child. We did Wills when child was born. I'd like to marry for recognition and security and am happy with quickie registry office. But he wants bigger and for me to take his name. I'm 47, his surname is the most common English and I like my surname. I think he just doesn't want to marry me so we'll be fucked if he dies first. Get Wills O. P
Same here. I don't want to change my name, but it's a very expensive decision, which I may have to change.
Beforethetakingoftoastandtea · 07/02/2021 13:26

Im not sure I’d let an addict have all the money in his account anyway. Even if we were married. And had wills.

lyralalala · 07/02/2021 13:26

@Imworthit

Out of curiosity is money in a joint account automatically the surviving parties money?? Not killing my fiancé 😂😂😂 This thread just made me think of a few things.

My fiancé has two children and an ex wife. She might be entitled to any money he saves? It may be the kids money if he dies. Is there a threshold he can save before his child maintenance increases? We don’t even have a joint account or saving yet but this has got me thinking.

Can start a new thread if I need too.

Yes, unless specified otherwise a joint account goes to the other person.

Is your fiance divorced? If divorced his ex has no direct claim on his savings. If he is divorced and dies without a will then it will go to his kids. If he does have a will, but doesn't make provision for his kids then his ex could put in a claim for something on their behalf as they are (presumably) financially dependent on him.

Savings don't affect maintenance. Only earned income. If he had millions in savings then the ex could ask CMS to consider a variation, but tbh it would have to be millions and she'd have to somehow manage to make them interested.

RosesAndHellebores · 07/02/2021 13:27
  1. Wills
  2. Life Insurance
  3. Marriage
  4. Pensions
  5. Wedding or huge party in 10 years time to celebrate an anniversary.
RosesAndHellebores · 07/02/2021 13:28

Apologies: t was buy house, 6 the wedding/party.

Porcupineintherough · 07/02/2021 13:28

@Imworthit yes any money in a joint account belongs to both parties. So if your partner died it would be yours (and vice versa).

Imworthit · 07/02/2021 13:28

You don’t have to change your name if you marry

NoSquirrels · 07/02/2021 13:28

If your DP died tomorrow, could you live on just your income and savings? (And vice versa for him?)

If not, you need life insurance for you both that pays out in the event one (or god forbid both) of you dies.

Babyroobs · 07/02/2021 13:29

You would not even get bereavement support payments ( benefits ) if not married. Currently a widow would get a lump sum of £3500 and then £350 for 18 months ongoing but unfortunately as things stand at the moment, you do not get that if not married. There have been legal challenges to get this changed, but it has not happened yet..

lyralalala · 07/02/2021 13:30

[quote Mulletonyourhead]@Jarstastic If you’re married and your partner dies, do you automatically have their state pension? Plus extra benefits? We aren’t married either, so I’m reading with interest also. We have a house in both our names 50/50[/quote]
You don't inherit state pension anymore (except under limited provision).

Bereavement support payment pays £3500 and £350 a month for 18 months if you have children and £2500 and £100 a month for 18 month if your spouse dies under state pension age. It's non means tested, so is a chunky sum (although parents have lost out massively compared to the old widowed parents allowance) that can help at a tough time.

LakieLady · 07/02/2021 13:30

My partner died suddenly last year OP, we weren't married and hadn't got round to making wills. Our house was held as joint tenants, thankfully, so that wasn't a problem.

We had joint savings in a joint account, as well as individual savings. We had also committed to having some much needed and expensive work done on our house. We were going to use our own savings for this, as the joint savings were earmarked for something else.

DP's son was his next of kin, and he was very decent and transferred the funds from late DP's account to me, to cover half the cost of the renovation. If he hadn't done that, I'd have been absolutely potless.

Please make wills asap. If you just want to leave everything to one another, you can buy a kit from W H Smith and do your own, identical apart from the name of the beneficiary.

firstimemamma · 07/02/2021 13:30

We got our wills sorted in our twenties, absolutely no problem with getting it sorted while young.

murbblurb · 07/02/2021 13:31

Name change is a custom by law. If you don't want to do it, don't - he can't force it.

Guy sounds a bit of an arse, to be honest.

rawalpindithelabrador · 07/02/2021 13:31

Your priority is not a bloody wedding, it's legally protecting each other and your children as much as possible. The cheapest way to do this is to get married. You're confusing wedding with marriage.

There's FAR too much ignorance about rights in a relationship. Your partnership right now means nothing in law. Being engaged means nothing in law.

Getting married is more important than buying a house together.

Heyahun · 07/02/2021 13:32

I hate when people say we can’t get married til after this this and this - getting married costs fuck all at the registry office!

You could have a big wedding party in a few years !

But if you don’t want to do that then get really good bloody wills in place

FlyingFaster · 07/02/2021 13:33

You can have a very cheap wedding in a registry office if you like, and a big party later on if you want one.
Legally, there are rules for if people die without a will.

You can protect both of you with a joint savings account, by a cheap marriage without the big wedding, or with wills- which you absolutely should have, if you have children, anyway.

Pinkandwhiteblossom · 07/02/2021 13:33

Why on earth would writing a will be presumptuous!! I wrote my first will when I was 26 and single and had just bought a flat. Anything else is just silly. DH and I have had wills since we were married which was long before we had children

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