What would happen to my partners money if he dies and we weren't married?

[grannyinapram]

Not a huge amount but we are saving for a house so he has a couple of thousand in his account and I have the same in mine.
We have dc and have lived together since being teens.
But getting married is a hard one because althoufh we are enganged, we don't want to get married yet. The 'wedding' isn't happening until after we buy the house anyway because we don't want to waste money on a crappy affair when we are renting.
Priorities and all that. Covid has pushed both further out of our reach.

I was just reading the will thread where the husband won't write one and it made me wonder what will happen to our money if we died?
We aren't even 30 yet so it seems a little presumptuous to write a will, however DH (not yet lol) has a fairly dangerous job so I'm always worried of the 'what ifs'

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal? would anyone else have a claim? does it go to our kids? no idea.

Does life insurance automatically come with a mortgage?

Hi OP

Also another thing to think about is if one of you is injured and there are decisions to be made about health care, life support, organ donation etc...I believe as his wife that the decisions would rest with you. As his partner I believe you would have no say, and his adult next of kin (parents) would be making all the decisions

If your dp dies you cannot just transfer monies from his account. It’s not yours and such a transaction would be theft
If you want the certainty of how monies is distributed on death you need a will.

In England & Wales If one dies without a will eg Intestacy - who inherits if someone dies without a will.The estate is shared equally between the children
His personal account will be frozen, you’ll not be able to access it

Work related, has he named you as beneficiary of a pension?

As partner you have no automatic legal rights regard managing his affairs on death. His parents will be the responsibile for funeral and they’ll receive the death certificate

@Mulletonyourhead I was thinking of pension if working in a company (I was thinking of a friends situation where she’s waiting to have a wedding yet if her DP dies tomorrow she won’t have any right to his pension and her children will inherit his half of their house). I don’t think there’s any entitlement to state pension. I think the widower allowance is linked to the deceased spouses NI contributions and they won’t be claiming their pension.

@caoraich

Definitely make wills. We're early 30s unmarried with a child and have mirror wills and powers of attorney sorted. We have also got life insurance for each other and ensured our state pensions will go to each other. Being unmarried allowed me to get a first time buyer deal on our house as the mortgage is in my name so we aren't in any rush to get married.

State pensions cannot be transferred to another person? Not in the UK anyway. Regardless of what NI conts you may have made your state pension pretty much dies with you. Do you mean private pensions?

Can I also say please please get life insurance if you are a SAHP. So many people I know think it’s not necessary because there’s no obvious income loss, or if you work PT because they are not the main earner, but when my DH was widowed in his 20s he had to quit his job completely as it wasn’t remotely compatible with being a single parent.

A friend of his who he met through a support group hadn’t had the SAHP insured and ended up losing their home because it was no longer affordable when they had to totally change career.

The bank would need access to his death certificate to close the account - your emptying of his account after the time of death would raise some questions...

@Mulletonyourhead

Does life insurance automatically come with a mortgage?

@Mulletonyourhead no you pay extra. Some people don’t eg if have a big death in service payment through work or you don’t have dependents.

[quote Mulletonyourhead]@NoSquirrels Thank you! Yes my Dd is only small but it’s been on my mind since she was born, really need to press forward with it now.
My issue is we had Dd slightly later in life (fertility struggles) at 40, I’d want my parents to take her but if we’re looking at another 15/16 years, they’d be 86 and 81 by this stage, I don’t know how that would fare[/quote]
In our wills we ask that MIL has the main say on where our DC live. Not necessarily that they live with her. I trust her to do the absolute best for the kids, whereas I think others might do what they think they should do. That might be worth considering in your shoes as well.

Questions for folks telling OP to get wills and POA done immediately.
My DH and I have both ( mirrored). It cost quite a bit to do that, even with doing your own POA there’s still registration fees. With wills it’s best to go to solicitor and even in Free Wills weeks it is assumed you make charitable bequests.
So question? It’s 30 years since I married...isn’t it just cheaper and a lot less hassle to get married and do most of those legal things in one hit. How much does the basic registry office job cost these days?

And yes, I know they still do need wills really for the kids about their wishes if they both passed away...but a wedding first seems like a quick simple obvious thing.

Why are women today having children without getting married first? I just don’t understand why you would leave yourself so exposed legally? Can someone who has done this explain why? Is it the man who is putting it off or both parties? ( unless you are no longer in relationship with the father which is a whole different kettle of fish legally!)

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

I'll just post this again for the late comers to the thread. It is very useful and really should be taught in schools as part of PHSE lessons as well as financial management.

Put the money in joint accounts and write a will. We did ours when expecting DS so we could name guardians for him. We were married already though.

You say about priorities while being stupid about the one that should come first. Get married in a register office and then you have the protection. Otherwise you are nothing to him in law. I hope you have a will and instructions for the care of your children..

@NancyPickford

Another poster upthread mentioned parents taking over in the event of his death. This happened to a very good friend of mine. Living with her partner for 12 years, he had a car accident and was badly injured in hospital. His parents were his next of kind as neither my friend nor her partner had thought about addressing the "what ifs". Parents stepped in, totally excluded my friend, partner sadly died and she had no say whatsoever in the funeral arrangements, the service, his headstone etc etc. In law she was simply a girlfriend, a flat mate. And the funeral wasn't the end of it, the financial implications were huge too.

I also know someone this happened to. Her partner died very suddenly in their 20s and she had no say in anything. At first the family weren’t going to allow her to attend the ‘family’ funeral but the undertaker intervened.

There was a long time between the death and the funeral ( sudden death) and during those weeks she didn’t know what was happening. The coroners office couldn’t tell her anything as she wasn’t the executor.

Her partners family came to their house the day after he died ( when she was staying with her own family ) and removed all his possessions and some of their joint things.

During the two funeral services ( church and crematorium) the partner was never mentioned.

Fortunately they both owned their house together or she would have been homeless in a few days.

My friend previously considered that she were on very good terms with the ‘ in- laws’ .Spent Christmas with then etc.

@Mulletonyourhead

Does life insurance automatically come with a mortgage?

It doesn’t automatically ‘come with it’ but usually the lender will insist you take it out as a condition of the mortgage.

There’s decreasing life insurance- that’s the sort you get for the mortgage, that pays out just enough to pay off the mortgage ( it decreases in pay-out as you owe less) and then there’s also life insurance that pays out a lump sum on death that you choose to insure for a fixed term. All life insurance is cheaper the younger and healthier you are, so getting it sorted early is wise.

With young children I’d say you need both types.

Even with the mortgage paid off I couldn’t afford to pay childcare and all bills & living costs on my own working full time. Or if I could it would be super stressful and we’d need to move house etc., not what you need when just bereaved. It would be similar for my DH. And if we both died I need my DC to have a hefty sum so the people who’d look after them weren’t financially disadvantaged- bigger house, bigger car, extra costs etc.

If l hadn't have got married l would not be eligable for Widowed Parents Allowance. This is based on your husband's NI contribution and has been a Godsend for me.
I know so many young widows with children who lived as a married couple, but were not legally married and missed out on thia monthly allowance.
Financially you are much better protected if you are married. Getting married doesn't need to cost a fortune, and you can still have a lovey day.

My husband's estranged father died unmarried and intestate. His partner of 30+ years was entitled to none of his estate. They thought common-law meant something. This fallacy should be taught in schools.

You will not only not inherit, if he ends up in hospital you won’t even be his next of kin.

@grannyinapram

We both have a help to buy is each so you get £50 for every 200 you put in when you purchase the house. I have never though about it. We had kids young and none of our parents have wills or life insurance. There has never been a need because in our family nobody has ever had savings. Everyone has just lived paycheck to paycheck. Its only from reading that thread about the husband not writing his will everything clicked. We have some money too, we have children too, we are both mortal... maybe I should check it out.

No need to jump on the 'you're stealing from your children's and 'you're stealing from a dead man's comments. He isn't dead and I just haven't thought about it before now.

There has never been a need because in our family nobody has ever had savings

No possessions at all? No-one has ever belonged to an employee pension scheme? No jewellery, house contents, furniture? Who pays for the final expenses and clears the house out? Who pays for the funeral? Take it from me, I had to deal with the estate of a relative who didn't make a will - it is a nightmare to sort out.

If you don't have much money, marriage is even more important imo. It gets you access to widows' benefits which you won't get if you're just cohabiting.

There are so many things to think about, and they're things you don't want to be dealing with when you have just been bereaved and are now a single parent with small children.

Housing - is it in both names? If not, you could find yourself homeless if he dies.

Pensions - not all pensions will pay out to a partner, some stipulate you need to be married. If you're not married and not named in his pension, you'll get nothing.

Widows benefits - again, if you're married, you'll be entitled to some government support if he dies. If you're just cohabiting, you get nothing.

Money - his accounts will be frozen on his death. If you're married, you can apply to access to the money. If you're single, you get nothing and aren't entitled to any of his funds until his will has been dealt with. If he has no will, you get nothing and anything left after the funeral/debts are paid will go to his children instead. You won't get access to it at all.

Marriage costs less than £200. Of course you can afford to get married.

This thread has been really informative, thank you to the poster who mentioned Bereavement Support payments - I had no idea about this.

@honeylulu

It isn't presumptuous to write a will at any age because life's only certainty is that all of us WILL DIE at some point. I'm a solicitor and our private client department deal with some really high net worth clients for property, trusts, financial planning and a shockingly high number won't make a will because they don't want to think that they "might die". well, no shit Sherlock!

Plus would you consider a quickie civil partnership for extra financial security and next if kinship. You don't have to make vows, wear rings, change your names or even tell anyone (the last 3 are also true of a register office marriage). You can always have a "wedding" in a few years if you still want.

There is no such thing as a 'quickie' Civil Partnership. The process is exactly the same as a marriage. Give notice then enter into the CP or give notice then enter into the marriage. It annoys me no end that people on here seem to think that CPs are some sort of marriage lite. You cannot form a CP then get married at a later date. It doesn't work like that. The legal relationships that are formed are almost identical in terms of the 'rights' they give you. They are just called different things. And you don't have to make vows, wear rings, change your name etc if you decide to get married civilly rather than religiously - even if it is not in a register office.

My late DH died suddenly at age 36 without a will (because who dies in their 30s right??). Luckily, as his wife, I was his only next of kin so everything worked out. But if we weren't married and he didn't have a will I'd have been in some serious shit.

I would advise to either get married or write wills. Death happens and it happens quickly and without warning.

Friends got an awful shock when after living together for 16 years he had a mega company, massive house, huge savings so went to an advisor about investing, was told if he dropped dead his partner and kids may not get anything because his blood family could inherit. We are talking 2million assets here. Funnily enough it was her who was against marriage. They caved got married quickly and cheaply job done.

I'm assuming that the children aren't his? If they were his they would inherit, but the partner wouldn't.

@Mulletonyourhead

Does life insurance automatically come with a mortgage?

No