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Original poster

What would happen to my partners money if he dies and we weren't married?

419 replies

grannyinapram · 07/02/2021 12:44

Not a huge amount but we are saving for a house so he has a couple of thousand in his account and I have the same in mine.
We have dc and have lived together since being teens.
But getting married is a hard one because althoufh we are enganged, we don't want to get married yet. The 'wedding' isn't happening until after we buy the house anyway because we don't want to waste money on a crappy affair when we are renting.
Priorities and all that. Covid has pushed both further out of our reach.

I was just reading the will thread where the husband won't write one and it made me wonder what will happen to our money if we died?
We aren't even 30 yet so it seems a little presumptuous to write a will, however DH (not yet lol) has a fairly dangerous job so I'm always worried of the 'what ifs'

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal? would anyone else have a claim? does it go to our kids? no idea.

OP posts:
polanama · 07/02/2021 12:47

If you are not married you have no automatic right to his money. If you are not getting married yet you must gets wills sorted

polanama · 07/02/2021 12:48

Just going into his phone would be theft!!

EmmaGellerGreen · 07/02/2021 12:48

No, his bank account would be frozen once you notified the bank that he had died. I assume that his estate would pass to his children, not to you as you aren’t married. It would be a different position if the money was in a joint account. Best thing is to get a will.

CakeIsEternal · 07/02/2021 12:48

You have kids. You're not married. Write your wills. The nonsense of only being 30 so not needing one is idiotic.

Do you both have live insurance? I'm going to assume no.

Both of you need to write wills and sort out life insurance for the sake of your kids.

CakeIsEternal · 07/02/2021 12:49

If you took the money from his account then you would be stealing from your kids. Right now, if he does, that money is theirs. You cannot just empty his accounts and take it.

Jarstastic · 07/02/2021 12:50

Legally it belongs to his children. In practice if you quickly transferred the money it seems unlikely anyone would come after you.

Does he have life insurance at work? Make sure you are named as beneficiary. Otherwise eg if he’s self employed get life insurance with you as a beneficiary.

Although I’m not sure why you aren’t married. It doesn’t cost much to get married at the registry office. You can have your proper wedding later.

Not being married you won’t have rights to his pension, the state widowed allowance etc etc

Dollywilde · 07/02/2021 12:50

Really not presumptuous to have a will in your 20s and especially not when you have kids. You need to sort them ASAP.

Mumdiva99 · 07/02/2021 12:50

You need wills. If you took his money after his death that would be stealing. With no will it would go to his next of kin (child or parent or sibling).

You can set up mirror wills online which state that each of you is the others beneficiary.

LittleOwl153 · 07/02/2021 12:50

I suggest you follow this... www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

You would be absolutely in the wrong to just transfer his money to you and it would be classed as theft as you have no legal right.

VodselForDinner · 07/02/2021 12:51

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal?

No, helping yourself to a dead man’s money by emptying his account is not legal, funnily enough.

JaninaDuszejko · 07/02/2021 12:51

Just go and have a quicky wedding so you are married then you will have rights over his money. But get wills sorted as well.

Mumdiva99 · 07/02/2021 12:52

Sorry I missed you have kids. Then you must get wills to look after their interests if, God forbid, something happened to you both.

IdesMarchof · 07/02/2021 12:53

You need a will - get one done each by a solicitor

LeSquigh · 07/02/2021 12:53

Why don’t you put it into a joint savings account so you would have access to it if the worst were to happen?

AnotherEmma · 07/02/2021 12:55

It's at best naive and at worst irresponsible to have children and not consider things like this.

Go to the registry office. Have a big wedding celebration when it's possible again and when you can afford what you want.

Get wills and life insurance. As a matter of urgency. Lots of helpful advice about these things on MoneySavingExpert.

If you don't want to get a marriage certificate ASAP then it's absolutely crucial that you sort wills and life insurance NOW.

FamilyOfAliens · 07/02/2021 12:56

I’m puzzled by your statement that you are too young to have wills. You know people can die suddenly at any age, right?

Lockheart · 07/02/2021 12:56

You cannot just take his money from his account. Absolutely no way. It is not legal and you could find yourself in some very hot water.

As it stands, his estate would pass automatically to his children under the laws of intestacy.

Get married. It will cost a couple of hundred pounds at the local registry office and you can do it in a month (you will have to give notice first). You can afford it, so just do it.

KatyClaire · 07/02/2021 12:56

You need to sort out wills which leave your assets to one another. It would be stealing if you transferred his money after he died.

It’s so important when you have children to sort these things. There’s nothing presumptuous about it - it’s just good sense.

Kitkat151 · 07/02/2021 12:57

The money would go to his kids.....but only what’s left after all his debts and his funeral have been paid.

VodselForDinner · 07/02/2021 12:57

Just to add, not having wills when you have children is irresponsible. Get those sorted.

Though even wills will offer you minimal protection without marriage- he can change it at any time without telling you. Same with any work pension or death in service.

Even if you have wills, you will be liable for inheritance tax on pretty much everything.

Death aside, as an unmarried woman, you’re in a more vulnerable position should you split than if you were married.

Get married, it’s so much easier and cheaper, and will ultimately provide more financial security for your children.

Whyyyyyythough · 07/02/2021 12:57

Why would you think you could do that?!

Chimeraforce · 07/02/2021 12:58

We're not married together 25 years 1 child.
We did Wills when child was born.
I'd like to marry for recognition and security and am happy with quickie registry office. But he wants bigger and for me to take his name. I'm 47, his surname is the most common English and I like my surname.
I think he just doesn't want to marry me so we'll be fucked if he dies first.
Get Wills O. P

BumbleBeegu · 07/02/2021 12:58

I honestly don't understand it when people say 'we can't afford to get married'. Of course you can!! You maybe can't afford a big white wedding, with a fancy-pants Reception...but you most certainly can afford to get married. It does make me cross when I hear/read this as an excuse. If you truly wanted to BE married, you'd be married!

tofuschnitzel · 07/02/2021 12:59

You absolutely need to sort out your wills. Obviously everyone would hope that they would not be needed so early in life, but it would be very foolish to bank on that and not have a will at all. That really puts you and your family in a difficult position.

LunaHeather · 07/02/2021 13:00

I'm absolutely shocked at this thread.

Basic life and legal education really needs to get in school yesterday.

OP how did you get that impression?

Have you got someone who can tell you IRL how mad this is?

Get married if you want to inherit. It won't be expensive. A marriage is a legal matter. A wedding is not.

Do you think if my best friend dies, I can just take the money from her account? Or my mum?